Nevertheless! There is no time for sulking as host Bree Tomasel shouts for Aihe to join her in a pile of socks. Whoever puts the most socks on their body within two minutes wins today’s Charity Challenge. There’s not much else to say about this other than Baird wins.
Whoever can wear the most socks wins. Photo / TVNZ
Meanwhile, over at Wētā, Carmel Sepuloni and Gaby Solomona are plotting about the upcoming elimination challenge. Realising the wāhine are now outnumbered, they decide to tell Wētā captain Wairangi Koopu not to nominate any women from either camp for elimination.
But politicians are a slippery bunch and she’s barely finished asserting Girl Power before adding a clause.
“She doesn’t count,” Solomona scoffs. “Put her up. Get rid of her!”
As Wētā and Aihe assemble at the challenge, co-host Lance Savali drops a bombshell.
“Wētā and Aihe are no more,” he shouts to audible gasps from both sides. “This is the official merge.”
The teams are no more - it's everyone for themselves. Photo / TVNZ
Yes. The mid-point has been reached. It is now all vs all. Survival of the fittest. Go time.
The two captains Baird and Koopu retire their rākau kōrero (talking sticks) to Savali, lose their captain’s immunity and return to the group as equals. The now singular group is dubbed Kōura, or Crayfish.
The challenge has the celebs jumping on mini-trampolines to look over a fence at boards displaying numbers. When added together the numbers reveal a three-digit code that unlocks a safe box. Inside the box are five bolas, which the players must throw on to some bars. The first player to land all five bolas wins and will get to pick the two players going into the elimination challenge.
Paranoid about the imagined target on her back from her Mutinous Four allies, and unaware of the very real target on her back from her Wētā foes, Langstone decides to tip the scales in her favour and play her secret scroll to gain an advantage. She’s given 30 seconds to study the numbers board without needing to jump on her tramp.
The challenge gets under way and the celebs start bouncing bar Langstone who after a few seconds runs to her box.
Langstone is blissfully unaware that there's a target on her back. Photo / TVNZ
She’s barely got it open when former accountant Baird appears beside her to unlock his box. Langstone then makes a daring and unexpected move. She leaves her box, sprints back to Cullen and feeds him the answer. The surviving three members of the Mutinous Four all begin tossing their bolas while their rivals bounce foolishly on their tramps.
Langstone’s not much of a tosser and she misses the target, spreading her bolas wide. But she’s doing better than Baird, who whipped out his bolas and found them tangled up.
However, Cullen’s clearly a man who has tossed his bolas before, because he lands a hat trick before narrowly missing his fourth.
But now Sepuloni has appeared by their sides, opened her box and started tossing. She’s the sole representative from the team formerly known as Wētā.
Savali can’t believe the poor display he’s witnessing.
He's not mad, just disappointed. Photo / TVNZ
“It’s simple addition!” Savali shouts in disbelief to her struggling, bouncing ex-teammates. “Add the numbers together!”
But it’s too little, too late. Cullen comfortably lands his fifth bola to prove himself the group’s prize tosser.
His is an enviable prize. As well as selecting who to put up for elimination, he also gets to choose two players to join him for a fiesta of margaritas and Mexican food. He selects the two surviving Mutinous Four partners Langstone and Baird.
“This couldn’t have gone better, “Langstone beams. “This is an opportunity to reform our alliance and get our sh*t together.”
Meanwhile, the former rivals of Aihe and Wētā are merging in their new camp, finding their new beds and making introductions. Despite the upcoming elimination, spirits are high and it’s just like old times when Koopu dunks on Dunkedon Garner in front of the group by exclaiming, “Damn! I thought we got rid of the snorer!” to rapturous laughter.
“Yeah,” Dunkedon Garner grins. “I’m back!”
At the feast, the former allies are in deep discussion over who should be eliminated. They are unanimous in selecting Sepuloni. They are also unanimous in selecting an official name for their officially renewed alliance; the BFFA or Best Friends Forever Alliance.
At elimination, Cullen makes a power play by putting Wētā's previously untouchable leadership duo up against the wall. Former strategist Sepuloni will face her ally and former captain Koopu. But all the schemes and strategies in the world can’t save Sepuloni now. Her fate is sealed when the challenge is revealed to be a simple test of strength. The result of the Tug of War is comprehensive but at least it is over quickly. Sepuloni is eliminated.
Sepuloni is farewelled by Rolleston, Solomona, Bubbah and Foliaki. Photo / TVNZ
While her former teammates Solomona, Bubbah, JP Foliaki and James Rolleston stand to sing her off with a traditional Samoan song of respect and Koopu embraces her in a deep hug, The Mutinous Three fight to keep their joy from showing.
They eliminated a major threat, renewed their alliance and got a little margarita buzz going. In the iconic words of Ice Cube, today was a good day.
Now they only have to worry about tomorrow …
Celebrity Treasure Island airs Mondays to Wednesdays at 7.30pm on TVNZ 2 and is available on TVNZ+.
Karl Puschmann is an entertainment columnist for the Herald. His fascination lies in finding out what drives and inspires creative people.
