Lynette Forday will never look at an apple the same again. Photo / TVNZ
Lynette Forday will never look at an apple the same again. Photo / TVNZ
REVIEW
It seemed like yesterday's explosive episode was going to be a hard one to beat but this year, Treasure Island promised to shock and it hasn't disappointed.
Enter team Mangō's Dylan Schmidt who is pretending to be a log in the water.
I'm very confused but not as confused as the fact that it's team Kauri's Joel Rindelaub's birthday and he isn't even smiling about it.
Does this man ever smile? Friends, family, Rindelaub, slip into my DMs. I need answers. Actually, TI producers, slip into my DMs because the start of this episode has left me with many, many questions.
Before they can be answered though, Kauri takes main stage: Melodie Robinson has gone from bad guy to good cop and is questioning Dame Susan Devoy about her rendezvous with team Kuaka's Shimpal Lelisi.
"I feel a bit weird about Susan meeting Shim in the mornings," Cam Mansel says, backing up Robinson. But don't worry team, Devoy soon tells them all is not what it seems.
They're just sharing a bit of early morning banter and coffee. It's very chill. Definitely not forming a secret alliance. Bizarre you even think that.
Melodie Robinson called out Susan Devoy's secret morning meetings with another celeb. Photo / TVNZ
I wish that was sarcasm but the TI cameramen didn't get up early enough to film said secret rendezvous so we have to take Devoy's word for it.
On we go to the team challenge and it's the most frustrating one yet. I can't even talk about it because it's honestly making me so mad.
Kauri win and after the stress of the game takes its toll on Mangō's Courtenay Louise who is fed up about not being fed: "Kauri is eating like kings and queens. It's out of control, they're talking about how they're putting on weight."
Jesse Tuke kept his cool in the most frustrating challenge to date but Courtenay Louise was feeling the rage. Photo / TVNZ
But let's be honest, Kauri needs the food to fuel them because they are giving us spicy plot line after spicy plot line.
Speaking of, Kauri takes its rightful place on the throne of drama when Devoy decides to start her attack on Lynette Forday.
"Enjoy that apple this morning, Lynette?" she accusingly asks Forday.
Devoy completely ignores the fact that they are eating like kings and queens and tells Forday she can't take food without asking. There is sass, there is drama and it was so iconic, it's been dubbed "applegate".
"Well I didn't have any brekkie at all," Forday shrugs.
To which camp mother Devoy snaps: "Well that's your fault, not ours".
Elvis Lopeti looks on and is all of us when he says, "Oh my gosh", and rolls his eyes.
Forday has no idea what the big deal is and Robinson joins in on the argument because, well, why not and the whole thing blows up only for Devoy to admit it was "a bit pathetic".
Lynette Forday will never look at an apple the same again. Photo / TVNZ
The awkwardness is radiating off the screen at this point so it's time to go check out another scene - also full of awkwardness.
Mangō's Schmidt and Kuaka's Ron Cribb meet on the hillside to complete the trade agreement they made during last night's endurance challenge.
"What have you guys got to trade with?" Cribb asks his fellow sportsman.
Schmidt looks terrified, his heart has stopped in his chest. What has he gotten himself into, he wonders? "Well, I think there was a little bit of a miscommunication there," he says.
Cribb is playing the field, proving he's still got it just like any former All Black would and honestly, good for him.
Schmidt saves himself by telling Cribb he can trade some fishing gear. Cribb is very much down for that, thus beginning the (almost) alliance between Schmidt, Cribb and Jesse Tuke – who had earlier asked Schmidt if he could be involved.
Things were looking rocky, but on this hill, Dylan Schmidt and Ron Cribb began their bromance. Photo / TVNZ
"I'm in a team where the morale's been down, so right now we just have to survive but moving forward, absolutely. The alliance isn't going to kick in until we start merging and I'll have your back and Jess," Cribb says.
They give each other a huge bro hug and toddle off back to camp.
Over at Kauri, the drama has continued but we've circled back to Devoy's coffee dates with Lelisi. Rindelaub is celebrating his birthday by trying to outsmart Devoy and tells her since they won the team challenge and get to decide who goes up for elimination, he votes Lelisi is put forward.
But Devoy makes it clear camp Kauri is not a democracy. "That's not going to happen because I'm the captain and I get the final say," she bites back.
Ah, and the plot thickens. Perhaps their coffee dates aren't just two old friends catching up after all.
After a bit of back and forth between the two, Rindelaub makes himself busy somewhere else and Mansel sees his opportunity to play devil's advocate.
Cam Mansel is Dame Susan Devoy's new favourite. Photo / TVNZ
"You know you can put Joel up," he sneakily grins as he sits beside Devoy.
"Oh, that's a lovely little ace up my sleeve," she replies.
Now it's time for the teams to go to the elimination round and Rindelaub is feeling a little down in the dumps so he chucks on a dress to lighten the mood.
He tells Matt Chisholm and the rest of the teams, "I'm just here to party. It's my party dress."
It's giving Harry Styles Vogue cover vibes and I'm so here for it. Big slay.
Rindelaub channels Harry Styles on the cover of Vogue. Photos / TVNZ, Vogue
I'm not sure whether it was the dress or because it's his birthday, but Devoy seems to find some kindness towards Rindelaub and doesn't put him up for elimination.
Instead, she picks Mangō's Boss Babe Iyia Liu who is competing for Ronald McDonald House and Kuaka's resident comedian Karen O'Leary who is competing for Mary Potter Hospice.
We said goodbye to Boss Babe Iyia Liu. Photo / TVNZ
The two go head to head and despite her best efforts, Liu is defeated by O'Leary.
She says her goodbyes and the episode concludes... almost.
It wouldn't be reality TV if we didn't have a cliffhanger, so we end with a secret alliance being formed. Between who you ask? Well that is to be revealed tomorrow.
Celebrity Treasure Island airs weekly, Mon-Wed, 7.30pm on TVNZ2 and TVNZ +.
