Once Melodie Robinson leaves the game she is deleting Mike King's number, I can tell. Photo / TVNZ
REVIEW:
It just hit me.
While Mangō's Mike King is busy causing chaos, we have completely forgotten about the third intruder. Ron Cribb.
Apparently, production did as well because the poor former All Black is so bored he's taken up (almost) nude yoga.
It's very chill, very zen, and it's giving me huge main character energy. Good for you, Cribb. Show the producers what they're missing out on.
On we go to the charity challenge and it's perhaps the most entertaining moment of this season – that is if you dismiss King Snr's declaration of war last night.
Kauri is playing the fiercest, sassiest blindfolded musical chairs I've seen in my life.
Joel Rindelaub sits on Cam Mansel, Lynette Forday shows off her disco skills from the late 80s and Elvis Lopeti is on the floor. He's twerking, he's shaking that thang and it's all for nothing because Melodie Robinson takes out the win for her charity The Rugby Foundation.
And there's a storm brewing on Celebrity Treasure Island.
"Don't be giving me your lippy lip lip" Kuaka's Karen O'Leary quips at Mangōs King Snr in some not-so-friendly pre-challenge banter.
"You're boring me now." He laughs back.
As a child of divorced parents, I would like to tap out. Confrontational fights are really not my vibe. Thankfully, Kuaka's Alex King comes in to reveal everything is not as it seems.
"He loves to get under people's skin, it's all a mind game to my dad." She tells the confession cam rolling her eyes. "If he's beaten you in the mental game, he's already won."
The team challenge is a huge endurance test, and honestly, it's like doing grit at Les Mills on a Saturday morning. You know you signed up for it, you know it's good for you but you regret it more than anything in the world.
Tensions run high, King Snr is trying to get into everyone's head and Kauri's Dame Susan Devoy isn't having a bar of it.
"Shut the f*** up." She sternly tells King Snr, who just laughs in return.
Mangō takes out the win and therefore get to decide who is going up in the elimination battle tonight but that's the least of our worries right now.
At team Kauri, Lopeti has picked up on a little something King Jnr said to him at the challenge. And boy, does he have questions for Robinson.
He and Mansel question Robinson about how King Jnr could possibly know about their prize-stealing advantage card - spoiler, she told King Jnr during their coffee date.
While the former Black Fern uses her best poker face, Lopeti isn't convinced, "I will keep Melodie at arm's length for now. She's on probation."
Over at Mangō, the team is deciding who to put up for elimination, and it is more chaotic than a kebab shop at 3am on a Sunday morning.
King Snr is being super erratic and Cassie Roma sees this as her opportunity to flip the narrative, "He was emotional and not strategic."
Are we talking about King Snr or how women are often viewed in the workplace? The jury is still out.
King Snr decides he's played more than enough mind games with his team, so just when they are all about to throw their toys out of the cot he stops and says, "I'm going to walk away, so you don't feel like I'm bullying you."
Just what every master of manipulation says.
Mangō all look at each other like what the heck is going on, they're more confused than the celebs at the Oscars when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock.
And it seems no one except Dylan Schmidt knows what is happening, "Strap in for the drama," he says.
Everyone gathers at the elimination battle, and it is here King Snr decides to make host Matt Chisholm redundant.
Chisholm says it's time to pick who will go up for elimination but King Snr has planned a ginormous plot twist that no one saw coming.
"We had an alliance Mel," he says smugly, "you, me and Alex."
"Did he just say what I think he said?" Kuaka's O'Leary gasps to the confession cam, "The person that's meant to be leading our team has been working behind our backs the whole time? Undermining our team? I don't see the value in that."
Oh yeah, dinner is going to be mega awkward tonight but there isn't enough time to think about that because Robinson is like a deer in the headlights. I'm holding on to my seat for dear life and King Snr has gone rogue.
"The person who's leaving the island tonight Matt," the mental health advocate says, "Is me, I'm going."
Shock. Horror.
"Clearly, at this point, we have gone off script," Rindelaub says.
Celebrity Treasure Island airs weekly, Mon-Wed, 7.30PM on TVNZ 2 and TVNZ +.
The host has been spotted across the Atlantic post-election.