“Twenty-three days, and I’ve only had one mental breakdown”, speak for yourself, Cam Mansel. The reality of writing three more recaps is close to sending me over the edge.
That is until the celebs start acknowledging they have made it to the top six, and it’s very wholesome.
Or is it? It doesn’t take long for Courtenay Louise to channel her competitive streak we have come to know and love, and the wholesomeness is gone. It’s game on.
“Making it to the top six is really good, happy, I feel good but I also know this is probably going to be the hardest part of the game moving forward so I’ve got to put my game face on,” she tells the confession cam.
Oh, the game face is definitely on for everyone at camp as they acknowledge the elephant in the room - they conspired against Jesse Tuke and somehow, he’s still here.
Of course, they did it while said “elephant” was out of the room or else that would have been more awkward than Meghan Markle’s reunion with the Royal family.
Regardless, the celebs continue to discuss how to take him down but it sounds like Louise is having a change of heart, “he’s been a really good friend of mine,” she tells the confession cam, “At the end of the day he is a really powerful player, and he’s got a lot of information.”
Mansel shares with the group that he thinks Tuke will win and it quickly earns a scolding from Dame Susan Devoy, “If you start thinking like a defeatist, you’ll probably start playing like one,” she says, “Don’t be a silly, silly boy,” she adds, shaking her head.
There is absolutely nothing worse than getting told off by Nana. Photo / TVNZ
The reality is, though, he might not be that silly because while everyone thinks Tuke is off for a morning walk, he’s actually sneakily meeting with the producers who give him a bunch of clues left behind by the dearly departed Ron Cribb, “Hell of a guy,” Tuke victoriously grins.
Louise will be pissed. The producers didn’t even make him cry in exchange for the clues!
When he comes back to camp, Louise pulls him for a chat, and it’s here the alliance is (re)born, “I’ve been chaotic, and unstable, and I’m sorry,” Louise tells him.
Tuke forgives her and says if they go into pairs, it’s them against the world, “If I win today and I’ve got that choice, I’ll choose you,” he tells her in what definitely feels like he is summoning a Pokemon.
Pikachu! I choose you! See, told you.
Then as a token of his sportsmanship, he gives her a screwdriver, but all is not what it seems, there was meant to be a clue inside of it, “I may or may not have kept the note,” he grins while chatting to the confession cam.
Hello? Clue? Where are you? Photo / TVNZ
Mumma Tuke, slip into my DMs. I just know this boy caused you trouble when he was little.
At the face-off, the celebs have a mini breakdown because the reality of being away from their families for so long is kicking in. But never fear, hosts Matt Chisholm and Bree Tomasel know exactly how to cheer them up.
They tell the celebs that the winner of the face-off not only gets a look at a clue that is already in the game but they will be getting the all-important phone call home.
Tomasel tells the celebs that in the past two years, the person who has had the call has won Treasure Island. Is it a fluke? Perhaps but it doesn’t defer Louise who is determined to win the challenge.
Tuke takes out the win, and like the rest of the celebs, I’m about to throw hands, I’m at my wit’s end. Who has this man paid off? Which one of your producers is on his payroll? I demand to know.
Jesse Tuke almost has all the infinity stones - sorry, clues. Photo / TVNZ
He decides to take the rope clue and it sets off Mansel, “Another clue are you kidding? You really don’t need an extra clue, share the love,” he exclaims to the confession cam.
“It’s totally annoying, Jesse just keeps getting more and more powerful,” Marshall tells the confession cam. Camp is going to be an absolutely savage experience later. Good luck, Tuke.
But before he has to face the angry mob, he gets a minute to call his partner and guys, look at the smiles, how adorable.
Plus we are getting some tears from the sports commentator who has only ever given us cheeky grins. “It’s been hard, not being around you,” he tells his partner.
I haven’t shipped a relationship this hard since Jess and Nick in New Girl.
Siri, play Kiss Me Thru The Phone. Photo / TVNZ
“I wanna win this thing so so badly,” he says before saying goodbye to his partner and then in the most Kiwi bloke moment, he sucks up his tears, “Let’s go get this treasure.”
Back at camp, everyone has gone off into their groups except for Devoy, “Whilst everyone is having deep and meaningful, I’m just feasting myself on crayfish,” she tells the confession cam and then she unexpectantly vomits on live TV. “Rightio, that’s done now, I instantly feel better.”
Nothing like a cheeky tactical spew in the bush to get you through. We’ve all been there Devoy - we have all been there.
Not even Dame Susan Devoy can escape the tacty vom. Photo / TVNZ
Meanwhile, Marshall is strategising, “Yes, he knows everything, but he’s just a man, he isn’t god,” Marshall tells the confession cam, but it sounds more like the time I tried to get over my crush on Harry Styles.
Later, the celebs are told there is no elimination battle but there is a challenge, and Chisholm spills the beans that they will be splitting into groups of two, with the winner of the challenge deciding who teams up with who.
Tuke and Louise are wanting to work together so badly that they may just cheat to secure the win, but then there is Mansel, “if I can separate the two of them, it’s going to be nifty business, and maybe someone else will have a chance of winning.”
Will his determination pull through?
On a scale of 1 to 10, how badly do you want to knock over those towers? Photo / TVNZ
Apparently not, “Courtenay wins, so we might as well go home now,” Mansel says.
The fate of the remaining celebs is in her hands, “Is she going to spiral into another meltdown and make some kind of crazy decision? Potentially. Do I trust her to make the right decision? Not at all.” Mansel speculates.
Unfortunately, we have to wait until Monday to find out.
