Jesse Tuke's lies are not getting past Dame Susan Devoy. Photo / TVNZ
Jesse Tuke's lies are not getting past Dame Susan Devoy. Photo / TVNZ
REVIEW:
Treasure Island is all about the two-part episodes this season which is why we kick off with Kuaka's Jesse Tuke - part-time captain, part-time traitor - burying the treasure.
Host Bree Tomasel tells him he has 10 minutes, and whatever spot he picks must be at least 10m away from any landmark.
Oh, you thought it was going to be easy? On Treasure Island? Nah, not a chance.
Tuke instantly goes into panic mode and finally understands why it was so stressful for parents to hide Christmas presents from their kids. The wardrobe? The garage? Under the kitchen sink? How did mum do it?
While Tuke is having a very intense morning that will most certainly bring up some stress pimples, the rest of the celebs are taking part in a team face-off.
Everyone – except Kuaka's Melodie Robinson – is trying to win because the losing team has to vote for a new captain and we all know Robinson wants that fancy captain's stick.
Back in the middle of nowhere, after almost 10 minutes, a dry mouth and 100,000 steps, Tuke finally finds a spot to bury the treasure. "Days from now, someone is going to be here digging this up. I bloody hope it's me," he laughs.
At the face-off, Mangō take out the win thanks to their very intelligent yet humble doctor, Joel Rindelaub, who solves the math equation at the very last minute.
Captain Courtenay Louise can't help but gush over the scientist. "As soon as I saw that I was like ewww math, but I knew Joel was here for a reason."
Kuaka now has to vote in a new captain, but Mangō's Elvis Lopeti throws a spanner in the works when he whispers to his alliance buddy Kuaka's Siobhan Marshall, "you've got a target on your back make sure you get the captain."
Oooh, drama.
At camp, Dame Susan Devoy is sick of everyone playing coy about the looming campaign and decides to take charge. "Okay, let's all be honest, who wants to be captain, come on everyone, stop being shy," she says
I just had a flashback to English class when someone had to do their speech first. Alas, Cam Mansel says he wants to, and in an unsurprising turn, Robinson also wants to be captain of her team.
Oh boy.
Marshall tells the team she has a target on her back but weirdly admits she doesn't want to be captain. The revelation leaves Devoy confused because she thinks Marshall would be the best out of everyone, and that makes Marshall fangirl a little bit. She loves Devoy.
It doesn't make her fangirl enough though because she sticks by her decision and decides to vote for Mansel. As does Devoy.
Operation manipulate Dylan Schmidt. Starring, Dame Susan Devoy, Cam Mansel and Siobhan Marshall. Photo / TVNZ
But voting for Robinson is Shimpal Lelisi, leaving Dylan Schmidt as the deciding vote.
Devoy, Marshall and Mansel corner the poor unsuspecting bloke and kinda sorta maybe manipulate him into voting for Mansel. All is fair in love and war, I suppose.
Meanwhile, at Mangō, Te Kohe Tuhaka is catching waves on his newly acquired boogie board. "I do the best with what I've got just trying to maximise these waves and not end up on the rocks," he giggles, while Karen O'Leary is trying to become besties with Ron Cribb.
It feels like a Tip Top summer campaign, all they need are some hokey pokey ice cream cones, fish and chips and Rachel Hunter.
Hope they've got their sunblock on. Photo / TVNZ
At Kuaka, Schmidt is now being targeted by Robinson and Lelisi. "You're trying to manipulate me", he says. Ding, ding, ding, we have a clued-up man.
"I'm not trying to manipulate you," Robinson says, but it sounds more like when mum tries to trick you into eating your vegetables.
"My head's just really unsure," Schmidt says while having a big heart-to-heart with the confession cam. "There's a lot going on in my head weighing up like the potential consequences of my decision."
Tuke waits for his team on the bleachers at the arena, and whether it's intuition or a tip-off from Louise, he knows the captain title is no longer his.
Finally, his team arrives, and none other than Mansel is leading the charge. I guess Devoy manipulated - sorry, persuaded - Schmidt better than Robinson did.
"I'm excited at this point when I see Cam, but I can tell he's not," Tuke tells the confession cam while Mansel breathes a sigh of relief when Tuke gives him a big hug and his blessing.
The outgoing captain, Jesse Tuke gives his blessing to the new captain, Cam Mansel. Photo / TVNZ
Lopeti is also happy about his friend's new title because he has an alliance with Mansel and Marshall.
It's Louise versus Mansel in the captain's test and ultimately she takes out the win. But before anyone *cough, Robinson* can give Mansel a hard time about it, the celebs return to camp, and Tuke spills the beans about his big adventure.
Telling a yarn wilder than the Don't Worry Darling drama, he shares only one true piece of information – that he was blindfolded for six hours. The rest is a story of lies.
He knows he's in deep and sounds suspicious, and he knows Devoy is seeing right through his lies, but he continues to spin the yarn and leaves for a swim before she can ask questions. He's really taking this traitor thing seriously.
"Do you think it's true?" Devoy asks the team as he leaves. "Do you think he was told to say I was blacked out for six hours?" Everyone agrees it's a bit of a tall tale, everyone except Schmidt.
Jesse Tuke is spinning a yarn that Shimpal Lelisi and Dame Susan Devoy are not believing. Photo / TVNZ
"I believe every word," he tells the confession cam. "I know he's holding back information, and that's super important that he probably only wants for himself and me going into the end."
Is Schmidt too trusting for his own good? Perhaps.
At Mangō, Louise takes a peek at the clue she won in the captain's challenge and in a repeat of history, we have to wait until tomorrow to see it.
Sigh.
Celebrity Treasure Island airs weekly, Mon-Wed, 7.30pm on TVNZ2 and TVNZ +.
