Siobhan Marshall and Jesse Tuke laughed their way through the romantic evening. Photo / TVNZ
REVIEW:
We are starting this week off with a little bit of side-eye.
Mangō's Joel Rindelaub and Courtenay Louise are having a conversation and it looks serious.
See last week, Rindelaub spotted his teammate having a sneaky chat with some Kuaka members and alarm bells rang.
"Oh my god this is where my acting had to come into play," Louise tells the confession cam. She's found herself in a situation more awkward than Brooklyn in the Victoria Beckham and Nicola Peltz feud.
"Is it normal to sound like a liar in this game?" she asks after spinning a decent, kind of convincing yarn to Rindelaub. The uber-smart scientist might have a PhD and a very trusting personality, making him an A+ person, but will it save him in this game?
No, not by the looks of things because he just took everything Louise said at face value. Bless this poor gentle giant. He's about to get a shock when he realises the game is all about backstabbing.
Onto the challenge and Kuaka's Jesse Tuke is raising brows as he takes out the win. He might be wearing yellow but I'm being blinded by the glaring red target on his back.
Tuke wins himself the chance to view what's inside that pesky yet intriguing monolith and a very lush vacay away from the island for the night - including a bath and a real bed!
Who said Treasure Island wasn't boujee?
Hosts Bree Tomasel and Matt Chisholm tell him he gets to take one person with him and instead of taking his bromance bud Dylan Schmidt or alliance pal, Louise, he opts to take Siobhan Marshall.
But like anything on Treasure Island, nothing is ever as it seems and it appears the "luxury" getaway is more like a Love Island hideaway. "It's very romantic," Marshall says through giggles.
"We're just cracking up because it's the most romantically unromantic thing in the world." Tuke tells the confession cam, "Julia, don't worry, plenty of space in between those two beds," he says to his beloved watching at home.
The two celebs might be trying to avoid romance talk but it doesn't stop Marshall flirting with the idea of extending her alliance to include Tuke.
Should she? Shouldn't she?
Alas, all it takes is one glass of champagne and she spills the beans like an excited teen and tells him all about the Take Down the Big Boys League - also known as the girls and gays alliance. It's like looking in a mirror.
"One thing I didn't want to be is stuck in the middle," Tuke says realising he is in fact stuck in the middle and his mates are on the chopping block.
Thankfully, the sports commentator can avoid the piggy in the middle game for one more night as he snuggles into his dressing gown and sips on some champagne.
Is there anything a snuggly pink dressing gown can't solve?
It seems Kuaka's Shimpal Lelisi is also a snuggler because he woke up with an unexpected visitor in his bed. "There's a dead mouse in my bed, I must have rolled over and killed it", he laughs.
Meanwhile, Cam Mansel is trying not to vomit and before we have time to revert back to our Viking origins, it's monolith time.
Tuke turns the wheel and the mysterious monolith opens. I feel like a kid on Christmas. What is it? Show me!
Of course, there is an ad break but, finally, we see what is in the big box and oh my god it was worth the wait.
Tuke opens a gold box inside the monolith, revealing the treasure. $100,000 of goodness. If you're thinking, what the heck? Does this mean the game is over? You're not alone, I'm confused and Tuke is most certainly confused.
"Holy shit", he gasps.
Before he can let the moment sink in, Tomasel appears to tell him it's time to go on a journey and bury the treasure. Somehow we flash back to day one when the celebs find some logbooks and read a riddle that tells them they will find a traitor who hides the cargo on the island throughout the game.
"I'm the traitor," Tuke sighs.
Meanwhile, at Kuaka, the crew are interrogating Marshall about her romantic night away. Melodie Robinson asks her if she told Tuke of the Take Down the Big Boys League and she says yes.
It's not very notable until the camera cuts to the poor sweet innocent man that is Schmidt. Sitting in the corner, completely clueless he tells the confession cam, "I'm not involved too much in the forming of the plan to take down the big boys."
Unaware he is in fact one of the big boys, he joins in on the brainstorming to rename the alliance. Mansel suggests "Big boy extermination" and Robinson's eyes light up. She really, really likes that one.
"I like that one too," Schmidt replies. The poor boy, if only he knew.
Meanwhile, Tuke is busy being dragged here, there and everywhere by Tomasel.
"I feel like Sir Ed, you're like my sherpa," he jokes before they finally arrive at their destination.
But before we can reveal all, the teams are off for a team face-off and Robinson is leading Kuaka. Huh?
"I think it's a little strange we are being asked to do a challenge without our captain," Dame Susan Devoy points out and, yes, it's strange, but there is a bigger issue here. Why is Robinson filling in as captain instead of Devoy? That was not on my bingo card this season.
Just in case the episode wasn't wild enough, Chisholm tells the teams the losing team must vote in a new captain.
I can't keep up. How many twists must one episode have?
Celebrity Treasure Island airs weekly, Mon-Wed, 7.30pm on TVNZ2 and TVNZ +.
'Congratulations Boyz II Men for the worst anthem rendition of the season.'