Courtenay Louise breaks down as her alliance buddy decides to leave the show. Photo / TVNZ
REVIEW:
We start the week the same way I hope we go on, with Mangō's Courtenay Louise finally revealing a secret.
What exactly is on that scroll she super sneakily hid from us last Wednesday.
Turns out it was worth the wait because she's just inherited the captain card, "You will become the captain of one team. You also have the right to choose your first team member and select the captain of the opposing team," she says.
It's three for the price of one! Talk about bargain shopping.
Louise is over the moon about her pending captaincy era, but my spidey senses are tingling. It seems this episode is about to take a heartbreaking turn.
Everyone got their tissues ready? Extra soft infused with Aloe Vera? Okay? Good, let's continue.
We cut to Mangō's Cassie Roma, who is beside herself in tears, "For the last year all I've been doing is packing my bags and leaving my kid," she tells Louise and fellow teammate Jesse Tuke who can't help but throw their arms around the sobbing businesswoman.
Tuke and Louise do their best to comfort their pal, but this wound is too deep, and despite their best efforts, Roma admits it's time for her to leave.
Before things get too deep, we cut to the team who never fail to bring the sass, team Kauri.
They find out about the merge, and there is only one thing on everyone's mind, "I don't want to be in a team with Susan and Lynette in the same team," Melodie Robinson giggles.
"Well, it's perfectly obvious that Lynette and I don't see eye to eye our personalities clash." Dame Susan Devoy says.
"So let's hope fingers crossed that we're put on other teams" Lynette Forday laughs.
I'll be sad to see the end of our stroppy women trio, but alas all good things must come to an end.
Off to the team challenge our celebs trudge and host Matt Chisholm asks the captains to hand over their responsibilities. It's time for a new era but only after Roma asks if she can have the floor.
My stomach drops. We all know what's going to happen but somehow I thought she would have changed her mind.
Through tears, Roma admits there was a 30-second moment during the competition that "changed her life".
"That moment was when Mike King left, and Alex said 'dad don't go' and he went and she spent 30 seconds telling us that all she wanted from her dad was time and I look at her at 24 years old and I see my 16-year-old.
"I've spent 13 days with her in the last five months and I think I need to pack my bags here so I can unpack at home and be with my girl because I don't want her to ever say those things to me"
It's sob central. There isn't one dry eye in the house and Kuaka's Ron Cribb knows exactly what to do. He makes a b-line for his pal and gives her a big hug.
Roma takes a deep breath, "I hope when Alex watches this back, I hope she knows that she's made me a better mum for her vulnerability."
PSA to working parents, parents who travel a lot, read the next line at your own risk because Roma leaves the show with a heartbreaking admission: "For a long time the idea of movement and busy is what I have equated with important but in these moments of silence, it is presence that matters most."
Ouch. Everyone okay?
The merge begins and the celebs split into two teams, the new Mangō and the new Kuaka.
We had to get rid of Kauri, too much stroppy juju there and before you ask, by the grace of host Bree Tomasel's rose quartz, no, Forday and Devoy aren't on the same team.
The new teams compete in a challenge that I imagine Vikings used to do for fun and it really brings out the masculine energy. Mangō's Te Kohe Tuhaka randomly starts yelling, everyone is grunting and out of context, this segment would be a very questionable sound reel.
The new Mangō take out the win and as soon as they get back to camp Elvis Lopeti decides to celebrate by spilling not just a little bit of tea but all of the tea and while it's piping hot, there is just one problem.
"I don't know why Elvis is spilling all the goss, probably not the smartest move because now I don't trust him," Louise tells the confession cam.
Lose lips sink ships, honey.
Over at the new Kuaka, their captain, Tuke is being questioned about his alliances and he tells the team he has one with Louise but Dylan Schmidt – who is also in on the alliance – keeps very, very quiet.
I doubt that's a tactical move though, he's probably busy daydreaming about his trampoline.
Meanwhile, Louise pulls Joel Rindelaub for a chat at Mangō. She charms him with her words and he suspects nothing, but us Treasure Island alums know something bigger is at play.
"To me he's the biggest threat so I'm going to be taking him out," she tells the confession cam. Louise is the main character of this episode and you can't change my mind.
Tuke and Louise finish the episode by going head to head in a captain's test and even though Tuke took out the win, we as viewers are the real winners because up until now we had missed out on his theatrical side.
His rendition of Shania Twain's Man I Feel Like A Woman will go down in Treasure Island history.
Celebrity Treasure Island airs weekly, Mon-Wed, 7.30pm on TVNZ2 and TVNZ +.
The host has been spotted across the Atlantic post-election.