Cancer-stricken Swayze 'snapped smoking', mystery surrounds Locklear 'suicide' call

Shocking pictures of cancer sufferer Patrick Swayze apparently smoking have surfaced.
The damning photos show a gaunt and pale-faced Swayze with a fag hanging out of the side of his mouth.
The scandalous pictures, which were reportedly taken on Monday, appear to be the first paparazzi shots taken of the ailing actor since the shocking announcement was made last week that he has pancreatic cancer.
The National Enquirer broke the story that the Dirty Dancing star was diagnosed with the cancer in January, and has been on a witch-hunt to monitor his every move since.
Fellow celebrity news tart Perez Hilton has got his mitts on the smoking snaps and has splashed them all over his website.
According to the Latino louse, the images were taken at an airport in northern California - despite Swayze undergoing treatment for the killer disease.
Pancreatic cancer is said to be one of the hardest cancers to cure, with less than five per cent of sufferers living to tell the tale.
Meanwhile, his alleged 60-a-day fag habit aside, Swayze is said to be undergoing experimental treatment to help save his life, his family said yesterday.
Swayze, 55, is reportedly undergoing grueling weekly chemotherapy combined with a new drug.
His mother Patsy said: "It breaks my heart to know he is suffering.
"But he bears it. He's hanging in there and getting the best treatment he can. He doesn't deserve to get this. He's got such a big heart."
Despite the tabloids embellishing the facts about Swayze's prognosis, his doctor is said to be "considerably more optimistic".
However, Swayze continues to smokes those evil cancer sticks - which is said to be linked to a third of pancreatic cancers.
Smoking kills. Fact.
But my piety isn't going to make any difference. As an ex-smoker myself, I know just how arm-gnawingly difficult it is to give up the evil weed.
And at a time like this, I bet Swayze feels that taking a drag on a fag is his only consolation in life.
Incredibly sad.
Sources: Perezhilton.com, Mirror.co.uk
In suspended animation
So Britney Spears' new animated video has seen the light of day.
As slick and "out there" as it is, I can't help but realise that Brit Brit's no-show in the vid is a crafty move on her record company's behalf to guard her from yet another public mauling.
What do you think? Check out the animated Spears here.
He's off on one again...
Robbie William's new-found obsession with all things extra-terrestrial seems to be getting way, way out of hand.
And before you start giving me jib for guffawing at his oddball extracurricular activity, cop an earful of this:
News reports just in state that the has-been (and yes, I maintain that he's yet to redeem himself and prove to me that he can manage a listenable album without Guy Chambers) is now looking for little green men while visiting observatories in the Arizona desert.
Rob has been spending his spare time (and, let's face it, he has a lot of that on his hands), visiting the National Optical Astronomy Observatories in Tucson, Arizona, peering through telescopes and staring into space - desperately searching for proof that life really does exist on other planets.
But the nuttiest tidbit of all has to be the claim that he's planning to build his own observatory - which would reportedly cost him at least £2.5million (NZ$6.3 million)
A source said: "Some of Robbie's acquaintances in LA have been having a chuckle at his expense.
"He is leading a bizarre existence at the moment - vanishing into the desert to look at stars in far-flung galaxies. He is dead set on buying himself his own observatory in the desert. He is hooked on all things from outer space."
Bang goes another one heading straight for Uranus.
Thanks to Dlisted for the scoop.
Hey slaphead!
Gene Simmons has gone bald - post that hideous sex tape of his that emerged a couple of weeks ago.
I hold my hand up and admit that I've now seen the offending video (all in the name of research, obviously), and it had me trotting to the gents and chatting on God's great telephone faster than you can say "put that wrinkly old thing away!"
Slaphead Simmons here.
What's that smell?
Amy Winehouse's orphan-donated hair is beginning to smell.
That's right, her hideous hair was apparently donated by a bunch of Bosnian orphan children who had no idea that they were being scalped in the name of junkie jazz.
How fabulous. Not.
Anyway, it looks as though Winehouse's rancid beehive is festering, so much so that the warbler herself can now sniff the stench. See here.
Meanwhile, Wino's still penniless and pathetic.
The singer was caught short yesterday when she took a taxi ride and found that she couldn't afford the fare.
Watch her squirm here
Too much information
My mate Natalie Portman (yes, I consider her a mate after I spent a sweltering night in a tent with her in the Moroccan desert a couple of years ago...that's another story) says she wishes she'd never visited a psychic - because he told her to "stay away from water".
The psychic reportedly told Nat that her life would take an abrupt turn when she turns 34.
She says, "He (psychic) told me that my whole life will change when I'm 34 and that I should stay away from water."
Source: contactmusic.com
How predictable...
My moles tell me that Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson are getting their freak on as they film on the set of their new flick Marley And Me.
Currently filing together in Miami, my spies have spotted them "canoodling" when the cameras are turned off.
A source also tells Star mag: "The hugging didn't end when the cameras stopped rolling. They were very flirty together, far more than you would expect. In between takes they were hanging onto each other. They are very friendly."
"Jen is known for being a recluse on set, but she's having so much fun hanging out with Owen. She's just really relaxed and happy, which is nice to see."
Aniston or Hudson? Which is it to be, Owen? Greedy greedy!
Filthy beasts
With equal fascination and revulsion, it gives me great pleasure to divulge what the Beckhams get up to between the sheets.
Word has it that brand Beckham visited the notorious Pleasure Chest sex store in Hollywood this week and loaded up on a sack full of saucy goodies.
The pair reportedly pulled up in their SUV outside the store, and David wasted no time in grabbing a shopping basket and stocking up on some kinky paraphernalia.
A source says: "Victoria was very vocal, cracking jokes constantly, though they seemed to know exactly what they wanted and after asking an assistant where various items were kept, they grabbed what they came for."
Here's a list of what the saucy pair allegedly took home with them:
* A leather braided cane
* Massage oil
* Personal lubricant
* A Cyberskin vibrator (eh?)
* A padded black collar/restraint (worried Becks might run off and text Loose, eh Posh?)
Source: heatworld.com
Viva forever
Ginger nut Geri Halliwell isn't exactly the sort of person you'd associate with miracles, but that's exactly what appears to have taken place this week.
Halliwell's singing is reported to have woken a young comatose girl from her stroke-induced slumber.
Stabbing victim Jessica Knight, 14, had been in a coma for ages, and all it took for her to stir was a few dulcet tones from the perky Spice Girl.
Knight's mother tells The Mirror: "Geri sang a couple of lines of one of their songs and Jessica started moving her arms and legs. It was amazing.
"We were all in fits of giggles because we were so relieved and it was just so funny seeing her legs move to Geri's singing.
"The next day, she opened her eyes for the first time. You just don't expect to be sitting in the hospital and for Geri Halliwell to walk in. She gave me a big hug and said that Jessica's story had really touched her."
How marvelous - a resurrection, just in time for Easter.
Insert obvious quip here: The comatose bird only came to so she could shut the ginger one up. Yawn.
Source: entertainmentwise.com
Stalker alert
Poor Jodie Foster, she's had her fair share or stalkers in her time.
Remember the nut that attempted to assassinate President Ronald Reagan in 1981 trying to impress Foster?
Well, Foster has fostered yet another freak by the name of Michael Smegal, from Holliston, Massachusetts.
The idiot has just been arrested for sending threatening letters to various airports, including the Van Nuys, California airport.
It transpires that Smegal has been stalking Foster for years and has sent her numerous strange and disturbing letters and packages.
Smeagal, Smeagol? WTF? I just hear that name and shudder as I picture some skeletal freak penning poison pen letters whilst rasping the immortal line "my preciooouuuuuus!"
Gollum, Gollum!
Stars without makeup...
All 25 of 'em lined up, and looking just as s**t as we do, sans ten cups of coffee and a trowel loaded with foundation.
Stars without slap here.
This is bad
The Incredible Hulk trailer is just in. And if I was Ed Norton, I'd be seriously miffed after seeing just how bad the film looks.
Ed Norton plays the big green sulk, and is said to be unhappy with the way the film has been edited.
Website Deadline Hollywood says:
Norton and Marvel are clashing over how to cut the pic. Insiders say Norton was "promised tremendous involvement and access" after Marvel invited him into the core team to rewrite Zak Penn's script. Says one insider, "There's a lot of posturing going on between Edward's camp and Marvel over how you edit the final version." Sources also tell me that, starting last night and continuing at least throughout today, the actor will be holed up with Marvel Studios chairman David Maisel, Marvel Studios president of production Kevin Feige, and director Louis Leterrier to try to "reach an amicable resolution" to this $150+ million film feud.
Watch the trailer here.
This is worse
Eugh! Look at Paris Hilton's ugly trotters.
Talk about veiny and sinewy hideousness.
Suicide scandal
The 911 emergency "suicide call" made by a doctor concerned for the welfare of actress Heather Locklear has been released.
The Ventura County Fire Department has now released the 911 call that prompted emergency services and paramedics to rush to Locklear's L.A. home on Saturday night.
Paramedics were dispatched to Locklear's home after getting a "suicide attempt" call, according to website TMZ.com.
The doctor says on the tape, "I have a patient and I have a feeling she's suicidal."
It was the second call the doctor had made within a 15-minute time span.
"I called in earlier through 911 to L.A. and was transferred to Ventura County", he says on the tape, before adding, "I'm not sure if that call went through or not."
Reps for Locklear told news outlets that neither Locklear nor anyone close to her had made the call.
And when emergency personnel went to Locklear's home they found that there was no emergency.
Click here to listen to the tape and decide for yourselves whether Locklear was really in danger.
Something for the weekend...
Give me some napkins - stat!
More impromptu pranks from the Improv Everywhere gang.
Canteen workers randomly burst into song as clueless onlookers chow on. Fabulous.
For more pranks, check out Improv Everywhere.
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Fast gossip
Give me five minutes and I'll tell you everything...
* I can gossip you under the table with these guys: We Smirch
* Which one's the dude? Dlisted
* JK Rowling on Dumbledore and homophobia: Towleroad
* Kate Beckinsale gets ugly: Pacific Coast News Online
* Tom Hanks cries a river over Madonna: Socialite's Life
* Julianne Moore is flaming mad at Eliot Spitzer: Just Jared
* Shirtless Will Smith on set: PopSugar
* I don't believe that Owen and Jennifer are hooking up: HBW
* Lindsay Lohan refuses to appear on her slimy mom's reality show: MG
* Top 20 Sexiest album covers of all time: Maxim
* That's just gross: ICYDK
* Yeah, she looks interested: Popsugar
* nzherald.co.nz is not responsible for the content of external websites.