KEY POINTS:
Oops, she did it again!
Where did it all go so wrong, Brits?
One minute you're a sweet natured kid bouncing merrily on Uncle Walt Disney's knee along with your wannabe mates on The Mickey Mouse Club TV show, the next you're a poster girl for pubescent
lads with a thing for 'virginal' blondes in school uniform.
There's no wonder you're verging on a breakdown.
Then there was the 55-hours marriage to dullard Jason Alexander, the rebound wedding to loser Kevin Federline, punching out two sprogs before the age of 25, repeated visits to rehab, a hit-and run charge and a child custody battle.
Oh, and to cap it all off, every man and his dog now thinks your music is shit.
Where can poor Brits go from here? Has she killed off her career?
By now, you'll all know that Britney's much-maligned appearance at the MTV Video Music Awards was nothing short of shambolic.
The lip-syncing, follicaly-challenged one stumbled around on stage looking like a dazed bunny in the spotlights while performing her new single, Gimme More.
Rumours are circulating that it took more than a broken heel, shed loads of Taco Bell and margaritas to mar Britney's 'comeback' performance.
Tongues are wagging and suggesting that the helium voiced pop tart had an almighty slanging match with her hairdresser over the state of her hair. And, frankly, who can blame her. Her tresses looked as though Freddie Krueger had given her a number with his razored fingers.
Apparently, Britters knew she hadn't rehearsed enough and started spiralling into a panic.
According to British tabloid The Sun, she "flew into an almighty rage" and "lashed out at everyone".
Cue her doctor being summoned to administer some medication to calm her down - rather like a vet administering tranquilisers to a rabid dog. She was then given enough to "floor an elephant". Good news for her "yes" people, but bad news for her flagging career.
In a moment of clarity, Britters was then reportedly overheard screaming: "I looked like a fat pig!"
Britney, wake up and smell the coffee.
Carry on as you are and you'll be on a sleigh ride to self destruction. Either that or end up going the way of Elvis - dying on the john after stuffing your face with peanut butter sandwiches. Not a good look.
Give you more? I don't think so. Somehow, I think you've had quite enough already, young lady.
Tune in for more celebrity news and gossip on Monday.
