KEY POINTS:
Don't expect Britney Spears' faux manager Sam Lutfi to just lie back passively and let the Spears clan walk all over him.
Nothing, not even a restraining order, will keep Lutfi from fulfilling his destiny and weaseling his way back into the beleaguered singer's sham of a life.
The pop star's former manager, who was outcast from her inner sanctum when served with restraining order papers two weeks ago, is now planning to fight back and drag the sorry Spears' through the courts.
And who will be his star witness in his bid to overturn the restraining order? None other than Britney herself.
The News of The World (yes, I know) claims that Lutfi, who's been banned from going within 250 yards of the singer, has asked her to testify and give evidence against her dad Jamie and mum Lynne.
The restraining order against Lutfi was issued after Spears' parents accused him of allegedly drugging their pop star daughter with prescription pills and cutting her phone lines.
Lutfi has reportedly contacted his former pal through a third party,
"I am going to call Britney to the stand so she can tell the world how I was helping her," he said.
"I am innocent. I am Britney's friend and would never hurt her."
Lutfi's representative had this to say:
"Sam is a good guy who does not agree with this restraining order.
"He will fight it all the way."
Run Britney, just run and never look back.
It looks like you've managed to surround yourself with a bunch of crazies.
I scarcely believe that any of these so-called "friends" have your best interests at heart.
They're all clamouring for a slice of the diminishing Spears pie, and you're left with nothing but a heap of crumbs.
Britney: Step up to the plate and take control of your life.
Game over.
Slap her, she's stupid
Who gave Kate Hudson the right to be so high and mighty?
The daughter of bubbly blonde Goldie Hawn has taken a swipe at Hollywood rival Katherine Heigl, by playing the dumb card and pretending that she has never heard of the Grey's Anatomy star.
Heigl, who is undoubtedly a rising star in tinsel town, is hardly incognito, which makes Hudson's swipe altogether more ridiculous.
When asked what she thought of Heigl by Elle magazine, Hudson said:
"Who is she?... Oh, that girl in 27 Dresses? I just don't think about that stuff."
Get over yourself.
Harry bottom
Talk about bare-faced cheek.
Two male streakers reportedly gate-crashed the set of the new Harry Potter movie this week - by parading through undergrowth during a woodland scene, The Sun reports.
Stars Daniel Radcliffe and Helena Bonham Carter reportedly had to be ushered to their respective trailers while security ran after the cheeky pair.
Filming eventually resumed on the set of The Deathly Hallows, but the streakers breached security once more and proceeded to make monkey noises while the crew tried in-vain to scoot them away.
A source said: "Seeing naked bodies was a laugh - but the joke wore thin."
Truly, it's random snippets like this that make my shallow existence worthwhile.
Hoorah for wanton flesh flashing!
Quote of the day
"Rich, famous people getting free shit looks bad. And I don't need a cell phone with sparkles on it." - George Clooney
Drunk or delirious?
Singer Ashlee Simpson was interviewed on a radio show in the US yesterday, and some say she sounded like she was either stoned or sozzled. Read more here or listen to the interview here.
K-Fed overfed?
Ever since these photographs emerged earlier this week of Britney Spears' ex debuting what appears to be a less-than-svelte look, all and sundry think he's been eating way too many pies. However, K-Fed's ex Shar Jackson now defends the weight gain.
Pop fossil
Madonna's not looking forward to the day she looks in the mirror and sees this reflection...
Close encounter
Singer Robbie Williams is on the hunt for his extended family.
Word has it the former Take That star has spent an astronomical amount of money helping the men with huge foreheads and white lab coats determine whether life really does exist on Mars.
The Daily Star reports that Williams was over the moon when Nasa's Mars Explorer Spirit snapped what looked like a human-like shape strolling along the red planet's surface.
He's so excited about the prospect of finding an other-worldly mate, Williams supposedly hopped on a plane to New York's Goddard Space Flight Centre to meet with the boffins.
Williams said: "I've been dreaming about aliens every night. I can't wait to go to sleep because those dreams have been so brilliant.
"They are definitely on their way, seriously. Mark my words. From now until 2012 - watch out kids."
More Sex please
So near, yet so far.
The movie version of Sex and the City is only two months away, but why does it feel like an eternity?
We've lapped up the full-length trailer but, quite frankly, that's not enough.
Here's a behind-the scenes video that takes a peek at the wardrobe department responsible for dressing the five fine ladies.
Look at it and weep.
In other SATC news...
I pray this is a vicious rumour.
Entertainmentwise.com reports that Sean 'Diddy' Combs is keen to develop his acting "career" by appearing in the planned sequel to the Sex and The City movie.
A source tells the Daily Star: "Diddy wants to get into the world of film and has been in talks with execs about a role in a potential sequel.
"He's even had acting advice from loads of his friends, including his ex Jennifer Lopez."
Start a petition now.
Osbourne bore
Kelly Osbourne belted out her rendition of 80s power ballad Total Eclipse Of The Heart on new British TV show this week.
Can she cut it live? Or does she slaughter the song?
Listen here.
Beating the brain
Remember Rebecca Loos?
She's the one who reportedly slept with David Beckham and hasn't shut up about it since.
Well, the fame-hungry bovine is now trying to carve herself a career as a pop singer.
If you're up for a serious bout of ear-torture, click here to listen to her hideous single.
It's positively embarrassing.
I'd stick to masturbating pigs on live TV, darling.
Cock-a-doodle Doo-herty
Shock horror: Druggie Pete Doherty looks like he's back on the white stuff.
This YouTube video appeared on his website yesterday, and it's probably one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen.
Doherty (if it really is him in the vid) looks like he takes a puff from what appears to be a cockerel's ass.
As you do.
Pimping herself
Actress Scarlett Johansson is auctioning off a date with herself on Ebay to raise money for Oxfam.
If you bid and win, here's what you're in for:
* Two tickets to the world premiere of He's Just Not That Into You. The premiere location has not yet been determined but will be in either Los Angeles or New York this July.
* Chauffeured car service to the premiere
* Hair and makeup for one by Priv
* A meet and greet with Scarlett Johansson at the premiere
Here's her eBay auction page.
Who can? Pam Ann can
What's the best thing about living in New Zealand? This.
The worst? No Pam Ann!
I heart her.
This Aussie comedy genius is currently on tour in the UK, but has so far not treaded Kiwi soil with her unique one-woman show.
Watch and weep here and here.
I say let's campaign to get the Aussie genius to tour NZ.
Life's not been kind to...
Lisa Marie Presley.
From this to this.
Bejesus!
Dramatic duet
Is this track really a ballad between Britney Spears and Heidi Montag?
I can't decide if it's real or not.
Bad taste
This tasteless anti-smoking ad appeared in magazines in the US this week.
Did the ad people not think we'd see the obvious parallels between the cancer sticks advert and the destruction of the Twin Towers?
I hope heads rolled.
This just in...
Paris' prank
TMZ reports that the "guru" that's been photographed about town with socialite Paris Hilton is NOT her spiritual leader - he's actually a Hollywood actor.
Lilly's new drama
Lily Allen blames the paparazzi for damaging her car.
Give it to me...
Please vote for my blog in the 2008 Web Awards.
Click here to vote for me as best blog.
Your vote makes me glow inside.
Thank you!
Fast gossip
Give me five minutes and I'll tell you everything...
* All hail the gossip generator: We Smirch.com
* Mariah Carey sings about sex tapes in her underwear: CollegeHumor
* James McAvoy brags about kissing Angelina Jolie: Celeb Parasite
* David Beckham's busted Smile: Popsugar
* Jamie Lynn's having a boy: ICYDK
* Maggie Gyllenhaal's family affair: Bauer-Griffin Online
* Angelina Jolie cannot be unsexed: Cityrag
* Avril Lavigne has stalker fans: I'm Not Obsessed
* Who's been on the Atkins? Dlisted
* Rihanna loves her butt: Hollywood Rag
* Matthew Mc Conaughey is invincible: Agent Bedhead
* nzherald.co.nz is not responsible for the content of external websites.
