Britney Spears linked to 'Pussycat' lesbian stripper role

Comeback contender

Britney Spears

has been linked to many oddball things during her tumultuous time on Earth.

Let's see...there's her connection with those merry

Mickey Mouse

folk, her penchant for quickie marriages, popping out love kids, and a rather naughty habit of not wearing underwear. Tsk.

But nothing beats her latest venture.

The interwebnet has been buzzing with the rumour (and I stress

rumour

) that Spears has been chosen by director

Quentin Tarantino

to star in his remake of the 1965 cult film

Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

Aside from the horror that yet another classic is about to be tinkered with (and undoubtedly slaughtered), there's the hideous prospect of seeing Spears fumble like a fembot on the silver screen as a maniacal, killer lesbian stripper.

Russ Meyers

will be spinning in his grave. Boo hiss, indeed.

Like I say, it's purely a rumour at this stage. Tarantino, who is currently occupied directing his "re-imagining" of

The Dirty Dozen

called

Inglorious Bastards

, has responded to the

Pyssycat

re-make rumours with "That's complete bullsh**."

But that hasn't stopped the tabloids from milking the rumour for all it's worth.

British newspaper the

Mirror

also says Spears is lined up for the saucy role.

And just to raise the gossip bar a notch higher, they even speculate that Spears' "violent character murders a man with her bare hands. She also has sex scenes with another girl - not a big deal for the singer who kissed Madonna on stage."

And a snitch supposedly said: "Quentin is convinced Britney will be brilliant.

"She [Spears] is delighted. She thinks it could turn her career and her life around.

"It is perfect Tarantino material. He wanted to get Britney first. She's playing the most important character."

There's absolutely no way that Spears is capable of steering a big production on her own. I mean, have you seen the roadkill that was her 2002 flop

Crossroads

? Talk about the cinematic equivalent of a sedative.

Update:

A mouthpiece for Spears says:

"Though she definitely intends to explore acting roles down the road, right now she's concentrating on recording her next album."

Wino fatigue

Bored of hearing about trainwreck

Amy Winehouse

? You're not alone...

A recent survey conducted by a London PR firm found that of the 1,000 folk they polled, over

48 per cent

of them said they'd rather impale themselves on a pair of scissors than read any more news about the wayward one.

Pyjama drama

R & B singer

Akon

recently imparted with a rather amusing anecdote about

Michael Jackson

.

Akon revealed that when the two of them went on a hot date (okay, so I made that bit up) to the cinema, Jacko insisted on wearing his pyjamas.

He says, "He actually took me to the movies with him, that was an experience. I was like, 'Are you going out like that?' He was in his pyjamas and I was waiting to see if he was going to change. He grabs a scarf and puts it around his head. Then, he grabs the kids and puts a scarf around their heads. So I grab a scarf and put it around my head, and off we go."

Jeez, Wacko's a bit of a worry...his penchant for pyjamas...I sniff a fetish.

Rehab kid

News is coming in thick and fast that shamed

Indiana Jones

star

Shia LaBeouf

is on a toboggan ride to rehab.

LaBeouf was charged with DUI last month after a serious car crash in Hollywood. He suffered damage to his hand and had to have surgery to fix his pinkie.

But LaBeouf's rehab trip remains nothing more than a wicked whisper at this stage - his rep has refused to comment, only saying: "Right now, we're focusing on Shia's hand."

Sorry Posh, you'll have to push

Pouty

Posh Spice

has reportedly been warned by

medics

against having another sprog - fearing she could damage her body if she has another C-section.

Word has it that the former

Spice Girl

is keen to breed and wants 9-year-old

Brooklyn

, 5-year-old

Romeo

, and 3-year-old

Cruz

to have a playmate.

A snitch says: "She wanted to try for a baby after the Spice Girls finished touring.

"But she's put her plans on hold while she sees what can be done to help her. She knows she is putting her health at risk if she dismisses the advice of her doctors and has another C-section."

Positively barking

...but fabulous.

Amy Winehouse

,

Madonna

,

Kylie

,

Elton John

and

Kanye West

all have a celebrity dog-alike, apparently.

Watch this off-the-wall video from the folk over at

www.pollthepeople.com

. Be prepared to witness five pooches dressed up as their alter egos.

No, I have absolutely no idea what just happened either.

You Fish!

CSI

fans are all a quiver over news that

Matrix

star

Laurence Fishburne

has been outlined as a

possible replacement

for

Gil Grissom

(

William Peterson

), who will soon be leaving the sleuthing show to flex his thespian skills on stage.

Holy luminol!

Other top choices for the role include

John Malkovich

and

Kurt Russell

.

The blind bits

You guess the celebutards.

"Which sexy superstar upset her sibling by muscling in on a huge modeling deal?"

Mirror

"Which stylish lady on the latest International Best-Dressed List in

Vanity Fair

is said to be having an affair with a dapper married man who is on the same list a few pages away? 'She doesn't care who she hurts,' sniped one detractor."

P6

"Which posh crooner has been hunting down a sexy northern girl for some hot dates?"

Mirror

This just in

* Was

Beyonce Knowles

'lightened up' in an advert for L'Oréal Paris? That's the question on everyone's lips. Some claim her visage has been digitally altered and 'whitewashed' to make her appear paler of complexion. Quite the scandal. Details

here

*

Sienna Miller

is

not a homewrecker

. Friends of the actress have been defending her against allegations that she's a Getty homerecker. I'm not so sure...

Retro Friday

Just because...it's Friday!

Camper than Christmas, but who cares...

Hope you all have fabulous weekends. Your blogger's more than likely going to be hibernating...I've seen the weather forecast, and it's a bit suspect. Please, no more rain. It's so wet around here I've started to grow moss on my head.

Enough.

Hwyl fawr,

BBB

Fast gossip

Ooh, link it in...

Sophie Monk

faces relationship questions:

ICYDK

Bad hair day

or a hideous

wig

?

CDL

Miley Cyrus

goes for a ride:

FH

Sienna Miller

and

Balthazar Getty

reunited:

YH

Is

Jennifer Aniston

running to the altar?

CFW

Duffy

's new video for

Stepping Stone

:

AIW

Morgan Freeman

's mangled wreck:

CW

Dolly Parton

makes fun of

Britney

and

Lindsay

:

HM!

Today's laugh

provided by

The Onion

:

CK

Eva

skimps on the skimpy stuff on

Housewives

:

DS

Iggy pop

and the stooges are bummed:

GB

A little

something for the ladies

:

CS

Lindsay Lohan

's dad won't give her away:

Hollywood Rag

Drunk celebrities

:

City Rag

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