KEY POINTS:
She may come across as all coy and vacuous, but pop tart Britney Spears has an agenda that's far too calculating for a dullard to execute: causing controversy.
When she's not driving around in her car doing Starbucks runs and making small talk with sycophantic paparazzi, our Brit spends her time craftily inventing new shock tactics.
Promotional pictures for her new album Blackout have just seen the light of day, and if what I've seen is anything to go by, Brit Brit is in for some serious flack from the Catholic Church.
One racy image has the fishnet stoking-clad singer straddling a hunky priest in a confession booth, wearing a skirt that's so miniscule it's practically a belt; while in another the repenting singer confesses her sins, replete in skimpy outfit.
The photos have emerged but a week since her 'friends' were crying out for Britney's fans to boycott her new album.
The ill-judged shots are bound to ruffle feathers and cause outrage from a public already jaded by her eccentric behaviour.
Just like pop veteran Madonna before her, Britney has cottoned on to the fact that cavorting provocatively with a priest will set tongues wagging and push people's buttons - irrespective of whether the said act actually has a point or not.
Let's be honest here, courting controversy is clearly part of Britney's comeback masterplan - whether it ultimately works or not is another matter entirely.
Pray for her.
Bun in smoking oven
Why do these pregnant celebrities think they can flout concrete medical evidence that states smoking can seriously harm their babies? It's just too insane for words.
The latest alleged culprit is none other than Nicole Richie.
Richie was spotted by numerous people sucking butt and puffing away at her cigarettes over the weekend.
The NY Post reports:
Mommy-to-be Nicole Richie. 3:30 p.m. Pony tail, black jeans, waistcoat. Exits DaSilvano with one young girl, one middle-age lady. On the sidewalk, after checking who's at which outdoor tables, she lights up. They jump into a waiting black Caddy Escalade, Nicole into the front seat. Still smoking. Three days later, 7:30 p.m., Nobu. For somebody who doesn't eat, she sure frequents lots of restaurants. She's there with the baby in the bun's father. They leave. Outside she lights up again.
Take the shame, Richie.
Anorexia perplexia
Welsh actress Catherine Zeta Jones has hit out at rumours that she's suffering from eating disorder anorexia.
Hubby Michael Douglas brought the rumours to the Ocean's 12 actress' attention recently, and she apparently scoffed with incredulity.
She tells People magazine: "Michael was laughing at me. He told me what [people had] said - that stories say I'm anorexic. Do I look anorexic?"
"How could I ever, ever be anorexic?"
Jones maintains that her svelte figure is all down to a strict diet and grueling exercise regime.
Lohan looking mighty fine
Rehab has clearly been a tonic (pun intended) for the lovely Lindsay Lohan. Check out these recent pics of the Herbie star looking seriously foxy.
I'm a star, goddammit!
Justin Timberlake won't be welcomed back in Australia in a hurry - he's upset his adoring fans with his diva-like behaviour.
The singer performed concerts in Brisbane over the weekend, and reportedly snubbed a group of fans waiting outside a restaurant - even though he'd promised to give them autographs on Friday.
Brisbane's Courier Mail newspaper reports that Timberlake was in a surly mood and insulted a paparazzo as he left the restaurant.
When an excited pap exclaimed: "If my kid could see me now, he'd be so excited."
To which Timberlake allegedly retorted: "I can't believe they let you reproduce children."
Cheer up, mate.
Sound marriage
By their own admission they argue like cat and dog. They're ambitious, strong-willed and bossy.
I wouldn't wish being Mr Madonna on anyone, and I think cockerney geezer Guy Ritchie deserves a medal for putting up with his scary missus.
But somehow Madonna and Guy Ritchie manage to make it work - well, he seems to think so anyway.
Ritchie has spoken out and denies that his marriage was in trouble over their adoption of baby David Banda - the two-year-old Malawian boy.
The film director maintains that Banda has settled into his family quickly and the marriage couldn't be stronger.
He told website Daily Snack: "He's part of the family now. We haven't talked about the adoption for ages - he's part of us. We don't talk about it. We haven't talked about it for the past six months.
So they're one big, happy family - just like the Waltons, only richer and a lot less redneck-y.
Wino's health woes
Amy Winehouse doesn't have to air her dirty linen in public - her father does that for her.
Daddy Mitch was interviewed by TV show This Morning in the UK last week, and he said that Wino has cut back on the grog, but has another demon to battle with - bulimia.
He said, "She's not drinking as heavily now as she was then actually but there are other problems. The other problem is the bulimia which is still apparent, although she's put on about a stone in weight but it's still affecting her health and there are problems with substance abuse as well.
"She's eating, although the eating disorder hasn't been fully addressed. If you look at the photographs of her in August and see her now you will see a marked change for the better. But it's a change for the better, it isn't a cure."
He also revealed that Amy was anti hard drugs before she met her husband.
"She was a complete opponent of hard drugs - in fact, she got up and said she couldn't understand why people in the music industry took hard drugs and that changed about six months ago when she got married to Blake."
If Mitch's plan is to shame his daughter into getting help, let's hope it does the trick. I'm sick of the sight of that matted monstrosity on her head.
Amy, go to rehab. Do not pass go, do not collect a doobie on the way. Go directly to rehab.
It wasn't me!
Jennifer Aniston was spotted skulking outside a cinema in LA this week, before sneaking inside for a screening of her ex-hubby's new flick, The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford.
Not so cleverly disguised under a baseball cap (as if that's gonna make you incognito), Aniston's cover was blown when an onlooker spotted pal Courtney Cox in tow.
Jen, you need to let Brad go. He's with the pouty one now. He's even made babies. Move on.
Back for Bond
The Hollywood Reporter, erm, reports that Daniel Craig has signed on to star in at least four more James Bond movies.
Now that's fabulous news. Craig gave the flagging franchise a much-needed boost, and prevented the spy from descending into Roger Moore camp and self-parody.
The next as yet untitled Bond film, Bond 22, will be directed by Marc Foster (Monster's Ball), and released in 2008.
Halloween treat
Reesenhaal (Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal) spotted looking lovey-dovey by X17 online. Check out the photos here.
You may be able to hide your mugs behind those masks, guys, but we know you're getting your freak on.
No battery charge
Pamela Anderson's ex, Kid Rock, won't be facing charges for his way-out brawl with Tommy Lee at the MTV Video Music Awards
EXTRA reports an official from the Clark County District Attorney's Office as stating that they won't be pursuing charges against Kid Rock.
Word has it that Tommy Lee specifically requested that all charges be dropped.
Fast gossip
The scariest thing you'll see this Halloween: Yeeeeah!
Cate Blanchett's baby bump?: Just Jared
Listen to Britney's album in full: AOL
Kate Moss's nanny is not a happy bunny: ICYDK
Halle Berry's boobs are enormous: Egotastic!
Natalie Portman is all coy: WW
