Bizarre Tomb Raider review slammed: 'A lack of curves and not an ounce of sex appeal'

Alicia Vikander is Lara Croft in Tomb Raider. Photo / Supplied

The new Tomb Raider reboot is getting decidedly mixed reviews from critics — but one review in particular has infuriated some thanks to its uncharitable focus on star Alicia Vikander's body.

Vikander takes over the role of Lara Croft from Angelina Jolie, who appeared in two Tomb Raider films in the early noughties. Vikander, 29, is an Oscar-winning actor, but according to Philly Voice movie critic Jerome Maida, she falls short as Lara Croft due to her "lack of curves".

"Vikander's appearance is also markedly different than Jolie's. She never comes across as having an ounce of sex appeal and, at times, looks like she could be 16," Maida wrote in his withering review of the film.

"Toss in the lack of curves and Warner Brothers could have decided to gender bend and make a film titled "Luke Croft" — and it would have come across the same way. They would not have had to change the script at all. Such interchangeability is not exactly empowering for women."

Maida awarded the film a C+ rating — but readers gave him an even worse critique once they caught wind of the review.

This isn’t even on some idiot boy’s personal blog. An actual outlet, @ThePhillyVoice, published it. Shame on everyone who let this pass. https://t.co/cz3cerIcB7

— Guy Lodge (@GuyLodge) March 15, 2018

He genuinely wrote that women with average-to-smaller breasts are “not exactly empowering for women”. Not an exaggeration. He wrote that.

— Guy Lodge (@GuyLodge) March 15, 2018

While it’s far from the main point, a fun side note here is that she looks EXACTLY like the character as portrayed in the current trilogy of games. So this doofus is comparing her to a version of the character that even the games have abandoned for being too cartoonish.

— Whitlock And Pope (@WhitlockAndPope) March 15, 2018

so his main gripe about the film was that her tits were too small..? aww, bless, back to his parents basement for that poor lad!

— Jon Mills (@Joxerthepirate) March 15, 2018

GOOD CRITICISM: "By the time it lurches into its final third, Tomb Raider feels more like a video game than a movie." @katerbland
BAD CRITICISM: "She never comes across as having an ounce of sex appeal, and, at times, looks like she could be 16." Jerome Maida

— Ariel Fisher (@Afis8) March 15, 2018

Only a white dude could swagger up to this movie, take “critical” aim and then so thoroughly humiliate himself as he tries to formulate anything resembling a thought. I tip my hat to you, Jerome Maida. Most men only glimpse the kind of mediocrity you’ve grasped with both hands. https://t.co/w2JzRdTfVw

— andrewkarre (@andrewkarre) March 15, 2018

Maida's review remains on the Philly Voice website — but with the unkind references to Vikander's appearance excised, and with an Editor's Note appended: "This review previously made references to Vikander's appearance in comparison to Angelina Jolie. After consideration, we have removed that mention."

News.com.au's own Wenlei Ma gave Tomb Raider a bad review this week — but not due to Vikander's appearance.

"As talented as Vikander is, she is not right for this role. Her bearing is too regal and she doesn't have the scrappy energy to make it work," she wrote, calling the film "painfully generic and frequently boring".