KEY POINTS:
Celebrity revelation: Kylie Minogue did not absent-mindedly drop a "to do" list in a London street last month, as reported in UK gossip columns.
What actually happened was that her friend and stylist William Baker was photographed leaving the pop princess's home clutching an A3 envelope on which was sprawled, in easily discernible letters, a series of statements appearing to pertain to her life.
It was not a "to do" list in the simple sense, but much grander than that. It was a manifesto, a public declaration of momentous proportions, masquerading as a careless, hastily scribbled memo to self.
How do I know this? Partly because nobody makes to-do lists any more. We save misspelled, unpunctuated emails and scrawl one-word prompts on our wrists. Even if we did, they would read something like, "Get moustache waxed! Spag-bol? Smear test!" - and not, as Kylie's did, "Acting coach numbers? When Dr Who script arriving?? Songs to Parkinson [BBC chat show]? and ... Tour next year."
No embarrassing mentions of gynaecological procedures, nothing remotely prosaic (apart from a token reference to "mugs"), nothing that would diminish the star's mighty glamour aura one iota.
But I know it was not a simple "to do" list, because Kylie is famous and therefore doesn't do anything by accident - not in full view of the paps. She has been playing the celeb game for 25 years. She is really good at it now.
I also recognise a Press Release from the Soul when I see one. It works like this: a high-ranking celebrity with a message to relay to her adoring public allows herself to be faux-candidly pap-snapped with "telling" written material on her person. The pictures are published, and the celeb-fixated factions of the population go wild, interpreting the images in flamingly positive terms. "Look, this person reads/writes! She has hopes and dreams and fears just like I do! She forgets things! She needs spiritual and emotional guidance!"
The PRS is ostensibly private. It is more convincing than bursting into tears on telly (as Angelina Jolie did on US breakfast TV recently), or writing open letters to your fans on your website (as Britney Spears is wont to do). Paris Hilton was at it recently.
Hilton, you will remember, is facing a spell in a non-glamorous prison cell for violating her probation on a drink-driving conviction - a sentence that has already been reduced on the grounds of good behaviour. The party girl's decision to leave her house clutching not only a copy of the self-help volume The Power of Now but also a Bible was presumably designed with the evolution of her public brand in mind - and with one eye on knocking a few more days off her prison term.
Heather Mills McCartney tried something similar when she was photographed in November holding a bundle of hand-written notes pertaining to her divorce settlement. The most legible stated her intention to hang on to her marital home.
Kylie has now taken the movement to the next level with her list - the main purpose of which was to declare that, after her brush with cancer, her split from actor Olivier Martinez and the rumours of her entanglement with a married man, she is back. She is hot. And focusing on her career. That and her mug situation.
THE KYLIE FILE
* Mugs.
* Tour next year.
* Coty perfume.
* Songs (from W.D.) to Parkinson.
* Film festivals/release/downloads.
* Acting coach number.
* When Dr Who script arriving?
* Russell's number.
- OBSERVER
