Beyonce's 'shotgun wedding', Spears' baby daddy pulls gun on paps?

Riddle me this: did Beyonce actually take Jay-Z up the aisle last week? That's the $64,000 question on everyone's lips.

Whatever you believe, there's no denying that the latest wicked whispers surrounding the singer's 'nuptials' will send the rumour mill into meltdown.

Barely a week has gone by since the couple allegedly tied the knot during a hush-hush ceremony at a lavish NY penthouse on Friday, and now word has it that Beyonce is in the pudding club.

Yes, rumour has it that a pregnancy was the reason for Beyonce and her beau running up that aisle quicker than a speeding bullet.

The New York Daily News has just published an article alleging that the Bootylicious singer is with child.

But with no official confirmation from either Beyonce's or Jay-Z's reps that a wedding even took place, I'd hold off congratulating the happy couple just yet.

If it does turn out to be true, it'll be the second time the Knowles clan has witnessed a shotgun wedding: Beyonce's little sister, Solange, married her boyfriend Daniel Smith at the tender age of 17, after learning that she was carrying his child. They have since divorced.

And just to add fuel to the fire, Beyonce has actually indicated in the past that she'd like to get breeding at some point: "I want to get married, and I really want a family. In a perfect world I'd have two boys and a girl."

Shotgun wedding or not, turns out that that particular metaphor does actually hold water as far as the alleged nuptials is concerned.

According to the UK's Daily Mirror, B & J readily anticipated that some of their guests at the wedding would interpret the 'plus one' notation on their invite as 'plus gun'.

Word has it that J's rapper buddies allegedly have a penchant for brandishing guns and blades and bringing their artillery with them to such events.

All guests at the wedding, including Gwyneth Paltrow, Chris Martin and Destiny Child members Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams, were reportedly instructed to leave their cameras and mobile phones at home, and later frisked before entry to the penthouse.

Nice. You know a marriage is off to a good start when guns and ammo are on the menu.


Some good news

Cancer-stricken Patrick Swayze is reportedly "thrilled" with his treatment for pancreatic cancer, the actor and his doctor said.

This is excellent news.

Swayze and wife Lisa Niemi tell People magazine:

"We're thrilled and grateful for the positive response Patrick has shown towards his treatment.

"Also, we can't help but feel that all the prayers, meditations and good thoughts sent his way by everyone has made a difference. Thank you!" said the couple.

In denial

Gorgeous George Clooney doesn't do Google.

Internet-shy Clooney is reportedly wary of 'Googling' his own name, fearing the litany of material some angry anonymous people have to say about him.

George said, "A few years ago, I went to check out this website that someone had talked about. There's like, a thousand people sitting in dark rooms trashing you. Brutal! You're like, 'Wow, dude'

"You see way too many angry people on the internet. I remember getting off the machine and thinking, 'Never, ever again'. I'd rather live in my own happy, quiet world where I think that everyone is nice."

Poor George. He's right, sometimes those voices out there in the dark can be deafening; which is why I rarely, if ever, answer my critics or commit the ultimate sin of performing an 'ego search' on the net.

The truth isn't necessarily out there...

Blind items

You'll never guess...

* Which A-lister toked up with his younger co-star during filming of their megablockbuster? The duo, along with the youngster's dad, smoked pot in the star's trailer, causing the crew to create a code name for when they were stoned. Source: Rush & Molly

* Which married modelizer likes to spread the love when he's away from home? Apparently, he thinks Sydney is far enough away that his famous Mrs won't find out. Source: Gatecrasher

Some front

Original scream Queen Jamie Lee Curtis is apparently furious that a magazine she recently graced the cover of made her look like she was topless.

Hmmm, could this be the very same Curtis who got her puppies out for 80s flick Trading Places?

Curtis, 50, posed for this magazine in a strapless dress, but she alleges the publishers made her look like she was topless.

Speaking on Oprah this week, Curtis said:

"Isn't it fascinating that this constitutes being naked. What the f***' are we talking about? In my world, this is called strapless. And yet they had to sell this magazine; I didn't go around saying I was topless."

She ranted on, "I have a 21-year-old daughter in college and a 12-year-old son; if I could take back Trading Places today I would because I didn't know I was gonna have a child... when I was 21 and I exposed my breasts in a movie."

Would you listen to yourself, Curtis? Don't you think that by ranting on like this you're also pushing the misguided notion that women should be ashamed of their bodies?

So what if your kids have seen your boobies?

I can understand her fuming at the editors for making her look like she was topless, but enough with the grump, already.

Hilton on a high

Well would you credit it - Paris Hilton has announced on her MySpace page that she's actually in love with someone other than her narcissistic self.

She says:

Current mood: loved

"Just wanted to check in and say hi! I've been on tour with my boyfriend for almost a month now. We've been everywhere from South Africa to all around Europe. It's been so much fun! I've never felt so happy and in love, he's such an amazing guy and life has never been better! :) It's so much fun going to their shows every night, I now know every song by heart. I love Good Charlotte, they rock!! All the guys in the band are so cool and sweet and it's been such an amazing and memorable experience. In my free time, Ive been checking out all your casting videos on the casting site for my new MTV show, www.ParisBFF.com, there are A LOT of fabulous and interesting contenders. I cannot wait to start shooting this show!! It?s going to be a blast!! So if you haven?t logged in yet, go to the site and upload a video, I watch every single one. Also, I was in Montreal a couple days ago for my new shoe line launch, which was a huge success, the shoes are there top seller there. I want to thank you all for coming, it was great meeting you all. I love Canada!! Canadians are awesome, so genuine and real! Thank you for all your letters and kind words, they mean the world to me. Also I met the host of one of my fan sites www.ParisHiltonSite.net, he was so nice and sweet and has a really cool site, go check it out. Well, I gotta go, cause my boy is about to go on stage and I want to go out there and watch him. Also, later I will post some pictures I've taken throughout my travels this month, and I'll be blogging more often to keep you guys posted on what I'm up to.

Love you all and thank you for all your love and support!

Love always, Paris :) xoxo"

 

Oh, and moneybags is also threatening to breed at some point in the near future.

Now that her mate Nicole Richie has given birth, Hilton now wants to settle down and start a family too.

A source tells the UK's Star magazine: "Nicole was already upset when Paris started dating Benji - it all happened too fast for her liking. Then Nicole couldn't go on tour with them because she had to stay home and look after her young daughter Harlow.

"She is furious Paris is out there gallivanting with her boyfriend and his brother. If Paris gets pregnant, Nicole is going to go ballistic. She thinks Paris copies everything she does."

Hilton was quoted last year as saying she was preparing her body so it was ripe for conceiving.

She said: "I want kids next year, so I've got to get my body ready."

I can't stand the thought of Hilton breeding - I'd rather stick my head in an oven. Pray she's having us all on.

I vote for her getting her tubes tied.

Throw away the key

Druggie rocker Peter Doherty has finally had his comeuppance - he's going to jail.

Sadly, it's only for 14 weeks.

More details here.

You just know that he'll never be incarcerated for the full term of his sentence, and he'll be treated like a celebrity throughout.

It's a mockery of the justice system.

Wow, I sounded sensible there for a second.

Moving on swiftly...

Natural born stripper

Woody Harrelson and Owen Wilson have been spending a lot of time together lately.

So much so, the bosom buddies have no qualms about letting it all hang and stripping off in front of each other.

No, this isn't another one of my fantasies.

Anyway, back to the story...

Harrelson owns a pad in Miami which just so happens to be surrounded by water. And after a day spent sitting in the sun together for hours, the manly pair decided to get naked and frolic in the ocean water.

What can I say? Nice. More here.

Photo credit: Celebslam.buzznet.com, bauergriffinonline.com

For the love of God...

Is there no end to Tom Cruise's reach?

The creepy movie star has now weaseled his way into Jennifer Lopez's world too.

So enamored is J-Lo with the Scientology stalwart, she's now reportedly wanting Cruise to be the godfather of her newborn twins.

The Latino babe - who gave birth to twins Max and Emme in February - is said to have convinced husband Marc Anthony that Cruise is the man for the job.

A source says: "Tom is delighted. Marc wasn't sure if it was a good idea to have a Scientologist as the kids' godfather, especially as he and Jennifer are both Catholic. But in the end Jennifer managed to convince him to agree."

By "convince" they obviously mean she grabbed him by the short and curlies and made him submit.

How else can you explain his agreement that their progeny be shown the way of the aliens?

I'm saying no more, I've already upset the Scientologists once already. And I don't want to be lazered into oblivion. I'm not ready.

Sources: showbizspy.com, contactmusic.com, holymoly.co.uk

Quote of the day

"I have two false hips, a wired-up right knee, two crushed discs and scoliosis. If I don't dance, I seize up." - Liza Minnelli

Spears' man 'loaded'?

A shutterbug waiting to snap pregnant Jamie Lynn Spears and fiance Casey Aldridge got more than he bargained for this week.

Spears and Aldridge were out and about in an all-terrain vehicle (read golf cart) and pulled up next to the snapper on what Aldridge claims was private land.

Footage published by TMZ.com shows a snapper waiting for the celebrity pair to drive on by.

As they draw near, Aldridge shouts at him and tells him to buzz off, and shows the lensman some sort of weapon.

TMZ claims it's a gun, but the picture quality is that awful, it could just as easily be a zucchini.

Watch a video of the incident here and judge for yourselves.

The end is nigh

Voting for the NetGuide Web Awards closes on Monday, 14 April.

Please vote for me.

Diolch yn fawr!

Fast gossip

Give me five minutes and I'll tell you everything...

* It's dirty and it's very, very wrong. Gossip: We Smirch

* This tranny needs to be on some sort of Government list: Dlisted

* Mormons love Miley Cyrus: Pacific Coast News Online

* Blogging can kill you: DSF

* Kate Moss bought her own engagement ring: Hollywood Rag

* Britney Spears' diet tips include Photoshop: CityRag

* MTV recreates the Holocaust for teens: Huffington Post

* This could be a great celebrity trend: Popbytes

* Paris Hilton outdone by a pooch: Circus Hour

* Demi Moore's trainer dishes the dirt: Hollywood Backwash

* Guess who was caught just about to tongue each other? Daily Stab

* Which male sex symbol is picking his nose? WIMB

* Who might be evicted for not picking up his dog's poop? Celebitchy

* Drew Barrymore must be high: Cityrag

* nzherald.co.nz is not responsible for the content of external websites.