Ad breaks are the curse of any live television viewing, so why do they make them so bad? Here, we honour some of the worst ads currently screening on TV.
Chanui Tea's talking heads
If I'm going to sit through an ad break without annoying everyone in the near vicinity with constant complaining, I want to be wowed. I want to be entertained. I at least want a chuckle. Come on, ad guys - make me feel something. The Chanui Tea ads make me feel nothing except anger. Washed out in various shades of pastel green, we get a series of talking heads sitting in the most boring suburban house ever telling us how amazing Chanui's tea and biscuits are.
Who are these people? Why are they so into tea and biscuits? Is this something people still do? "It's definitely got that fresh ginger ... nut taste," says one eager eater. "I love a traditional Anzac biscuit," says another nibbler with forced enthusiasm. Let's not get started about the evil laugh that closes the ad and is haunting my dreams. I hate these ads with an absolute passion. And it's only made worse because I know exactly how Chanui should be advertising its wares: get South Auckland rapper Savage to holler "Chaaaaaanuiiiiiiii!" at the top of his lungs for 30 seconds. Now that's something I want to see.
Firstly, let me point out it has taken me five minutes of Googling to find out the actual name of this product (a Google search that turned out to be extremely NSFW thanks to the phrase "dancing boobs"). That is not good advertising. Nor is anything that makes you physically gag when it comes on TV.
Even if you stopped watching ads with the advent of MySky, you'll remember this one. It's been around for years and still makes me wretch. People sweat, I get it. And maybe some of those people could benefit from a soothing cream that stops them chaffing. But those people can ask their friendly neighbourhood pharmacist for help. I don't need to visualise sweaty boobs and butt cracks while I'm trying to enjoy a pleasant night in. And the jingle! My jaw clenches just thinking about it.
- Joanna Hunkin
Screw you, YouTube
I honestly cannot remember the last time I saw an ad on TV. Or watched TV on TV. These days my flat screen strictly switches between Netflix and Lightbox, where there are no ads. Hazzar! However the one thing that just gets me every time is those dang ads before every single YouTube video. Then there are also those sneaky ones that pop up at the top of the page when you search for something - so if you're too quick on your clicker you end up watching some random ad instead of segments from Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. It's not really any specific ad that's annoying, it's the fact that they're there and I now have to - instead of watching the ad (which I've also muted by the way) - count down what feels like an eternity before I can click the 'skip ad' button. Or even worse, suffer while the whole ad plays before the main event starts. But trust me internet, I'm still not watching! I refuse ... unless of course it's the trailer for a movie, which I always find appear before a different trailer that I'm about to watch. Yay for double trailers!
I can endure pretty much any ad on TV right now except for this one. The ad celebrating Dominos' new app that lets you stalk every movement of their drivers is one of those commercials that suggests a feature is so great people will put their lives on hold in order to enjoy it. I find it difficult to believe people would be so engrossed by this app that they'd just sit around staring at it, debating which road the driver's going to turn down. Don't these people have a TV? Internet? Ever heard of a book? They could also do something with the basketball one of the flatmates is carrying for no reason. This ad is just so stupidly irritating and lame that I have to mute it every time it appears, and wait for it to disappear thinking about how much I'd rather be having Pizza Hut.
- Ethan Sills
Go Harvey Norman, go!
Judging only on the back of his television commercials Harvey Norman must be one of the most insufferable, gawd awful people you could ever hope to avoid. Loud, obnoxious, ugly and blessed with a fundamental lack of understanding over the concept of the 'inside voice'. Harvey, mate, your ads are just too damn loud. Look, I get it, you're excited that beds are on sale this weekend, or that there's a wee extension to the interest free period or that whiteware, glassware and homeware all have 10 per cent off this Thursday only, but seriously, calm it down bro.
That announcer, damn near hyperventilating as he yells at us about new fridges, the annoying horn blasting jingle that plays non stop, the backing singers shouting as if their life depended on it, "Go Harvey Norman, go!". Harvey, I'll tell you where you can go...
And gawd help us if there's a red light sale on, because then the already ear abusing cacophony gets the sweet, sweet sounds of a blaring siren added. Lovely. These ads are nothing more than aural bullying. Attempting to batter us into submission through sheer volume. Thank heavens for the mute button. And really, it's all just a bit much.
The deals are ok, I guess, but it's not like they're giving lounge suites away or anything. If they were, well, that would really be something to shout about. Oh ...
- Karl Puschmann
* Which ads do you hate the most? Post your comments below!
