Amy Winehouse. Photo / Reuters
Amy Winehouse's dreamboat hubby has reportedly fallen for a mystery woman, and is planning to bolt it with her and a slice of the jazz singer's fortune.
Incarcerated Blake Fielder-Civil, 25, has been secretly plotting with an as-yet-unidentified blonde during a string of prison visits, British tabloid
The Sun
claims.
The couple has been conspiring to run away together, according to the newspaper, and that Fielder-Civil told his new lover:
"Just say the word and I'll dump Amy. I love you more than I could ever love my wife. You're all that matters to me."
Fielder-Civil is currently awaiting trial at London's Pentonville prison, and is accused of assault and perverting justice.
The jailbird is said to be so besotted with his new admirer, he's already popped the question - yes, he wants her to marry him.
Minor complication: he's already wed to Wino.
He said: "I'll leave Amy and we will be rich beyond our wildest dreams. But you have to marry me. Promise me you will and we can be happy."
Sensationally,
The Sun
also says that Blake Incarcerated has been bragging to fellow inmates that Winehouse will have to pay him a seven-figure sum to get him off her back, so-to-speak.
News reports indicated last week that Winehouse had dumped her hubby, she wanted nothing more to do with the louse, and was already romantically involved with her manager's assistant Alex Haines, 22.
Well if the Sun's latest revelations are true, then a split is definitely on the cards.
It's reported that Fielder-Civil will demand at least 3 million pounds (NZ$7.5m) as a divorce settlement, and an undisclosed amount for every month of their year-long marriage.
A source says: "Blake is convinced that Amy owes him big time.
"He is telling everyone that he's got millions coming to him. She's his meal ticket for life."
Blake, who has been told about Wino's new romance, is reportedly seething about her cheating, and told his cohort:
"If Amy has cheated on me don't worry - we'll be millionaires."
OK, let's reel this in for a minute.
This story reads more like a Mills & Boon epic on crack. I can't suspend my disbelief that high. The cynic in me - coupled with my bull detector - says a big fat no.
Fact or fable? Only time will tell...
Who let the dog out?
WTF has happened to jazz wreck Amy Winehouse?
The cage is open and the beast is not asleep.
I spotted
of Wino that were published in the
Daily Mail
this week.
Seriously, just looking at them made me feel absolutely filthy - I'm talking dirt under the fingernails stuff here.
Just be thankful the pics aren't of the scratch 'n' sniff variety - because if they were, the air would be a perfume of pungent peasant.
She looks like she needs a good hosing down and a decent meal.
She reminds me of
.
Enough. Put it away, Wino. Time out.
Update:
Hold the phone, folks. Wino's surprise strip was all down to the weather, apparently. Says so
.
Li Lo's la la?
So anyway...
Lindsay Lohan has reportedly been working hard in the recording studio so she can convince us she's not useless.
Well, it looks like we're about to see the fruit of her labour.
See below for a video clip of a song called
Bossy
which is rumoured to be a track from Lohan's as yet untitled album with Motown Records.
I had low expectations, so I'm not in the least bit surprised that it's a little bit poo.
Cruel indentions
Does my bum look dimply in this?
Mischa Barton is getting some flak for being human.
See
Shame.
She's all out
Has Jennifer Aniston spent the past few weeks lounging around and tanning herself to a crisp?
would indicate so.
Tanning kills, Jen. Stay out of the sun. Cancer sucks.
RIP Corey Haim
Lost Boys actor Corey Haim used to make hearts throb. Not anymore.
looking like some Billy Ray Cyrus wannabe, complete with Westie-friendly mullet.
Granted, the peroxide look is for some obscure, straight to DVD movie we've never heard of, but it's still a hideous look.
Hard to believe that underneath that gruff lays
former teen idol.
Hot mamma
Sharon Stone is still a fox.
Shazza's
than she did when she dropped her drawers in Basic Instinct way back in 1992.
That chemical peel
a couple of weeks ago obviously did the trick.
Detox Queen
Pop svengali Simon Cowell says he's recently gone through a purging phase.
"I've been on detox," he reveals to
OK!.
"I have a girl that comes over and I sweat out all the toxins."
Eh, can you run that one by me again, Si? Details please.
I'm picturing some latex-clad dominatrix that comes ‘round to his gaff and whips the nasty out of his elephant-skinned hide. Bad toxins!
Must be a Hollywood thing.
Retro ridiculous
This is a public service announcement:
The very fact you're alive and breathing means you're susceptible to acts of wanton carelessness - especially if you're still living in the 1950s.
‘Twas a dangerous decade, you know - even if you were tied to the kitchen sink, like all good housewives were, obviously.
Cross is not amused
WTF is Marcia Cross doing
with a baby buggy and an ice sculpture?
It's all in the name of art, thankfully. Cross was filming an episode of
Desperate Housewives
in Los Angeles, apparently.
Can't wait to see how this oddball outing will work itself into a storyline.
The dreaded C
A little-known British actor called Danny Dyer has apparently branded Orlando Bloom a "c**t", as well as proclaiming that the
Lord Of The Rings
actor "can't act".
Dyer, who has acted in indie flicks such as
Human Traffic, The Football Factory
and
Outlaw
, is adamant that Bloom's success is all down to luck.
He says, "I do genuinely think Orlando Bloom is a c**t. I've never met him, but he's in the same game as me and he's loaded.
"I get a bit bitter, to be honest. I'm still living in the ghetto in East London and he's earning three million quid a film. He got lucky. He came out of drama school and got Lord of the Rings.
"He wasn't all that good in it, but it put him on the map, didn't it? He's the opposite of me; he's well media-trained and boring. Plus, he can't act."
I like him already.
Dead wood
I hear that ABC has cancelled its fabulous
Men In Trees
show.
TVguide.com reports that the series, which starred fair-weather lesbian Anne Heche, has been given the chop, and quotes the show's creator, Jenny Bicks, as laying the blame for the show's cancellation squarely at the feet of the schedulers.
The show was apparently moved back and forth in the schedules, which undoubtedly had an impact on viewing figures.
Bicks said: "I wish the show had not been moved six times and put on two long hiatuses. ... No show could survive that."
Love sick
Crazy chick Courtney Love was admitted to hospital on Friday, according to news reports.
Love was reportedly admitted to L.A.'s Cedars-Sinai Medical Center after complaining of chest pains and suffering a suspected bout of laryngitis.
The wayward rocker's reps have since confirmed that she was seen my medics and diagnosed with strep throat - swollen tonsils and a sore throat - before she was set free.
Source: contactmusic.com
Me, myself and I
It was only a mater of time before Tom Cruise jumped on the digital narcissism bandwagon and got himself a website devoted to, well, himself.
is a delightful slice of cyberspace devoted to worshiping all that is Tommy Girl.
Click with wonder and amazement as you run through a retrospective of Tiny Tom's 25-year career, and freak yourself stupid with the sinister sound of a legion of hostile aliens shuffling towards you with their laser guns set to stun (OK, so I made that last bit up).
Amazingly enough, Scientology is given a wide birth on the website. Good boy, Tom, you wouldn't want to alienate anyone.
Foul weather, man
Being a weather presenter is not for the faint hearted - especially when the forecast predicts a severely overcast outlook and a s***storm.
Oopsie.
Warning: Contains swearing, sort-of.
Fur flies over Lohan
Struggling actress/model/whatever Lindsay Lohan is being sued after she was snapped wearing a fur coat that its owner says was stolen, news reports claim
The mink coat in question, reportedly worth US $11,000, went missing from a birthday bash held in a New York bar earlier this year.
Columbia University student Masha Markova, 22, claims her blonde mink jacket sprouted legs and vanished when she tried to retrieve it from underneath a pile of jackets at nightspot 1 Oak, in NYC on 26 January.
According to the
New York Post
, two weeks later Markova flicked through the pages of a certain celebrity gossip magazine and spotted a photo of Lohan - who was also present at the birthday bash - wearing an identical-looking mink coat.
"It was my coat. It was no doubt," says Markova.
Markova's immigration lawyer, Merrill Cohen, then called Lohan's high-powered Hollywood attorney, Blair Berke, threatening litigation.
Oddly enough, after her lawyer's intervention, Markova was contacted by bosses at 1 Oak. Her precious mink had been recovered - so they returned the garment, which reportedly reeked of fags and booze, and had a conspicuous tear in its lining.
"They were very discreet, never mentioned a name or even the word 'coat,'" Markova says. "They just said, ‘We're going to bring you something.'"
The Post
also reports that there has been no explanation or admission of any wrongdoing from Lohan's people.
Markova can't actually prove that Li Lo lifted her mink, but that hasn't stopped her from demanding a whopping $10,000 fee for the "unauthorised rental" of the jacket from the beleaguered star.
The disgruntled student adds, "I don't see how it could have been an accident."
of Lohan wearing what Markova claims to be her precious mink.
So did Li Lo actually finger the fur? Who knows, or actually cares.
If there's any shame to name, it's the fact that Markova owned the furry monstrosity in the first place. That kind of fashion kills, honey.
Sources: Mirror.co.uk, nypost.com, people.com
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Opinion: 'Her monologue was a blast – a salty and irreverent onslaught.'