Amy Winehouse says 'Yeah, but no, but yeah' to rehab, Katie's life 'collapses'

Pizza-faced jazz pixie Amy Winehouse has an unenviable dilemma on her hands: to rehab, or not to rehab?
The Back to Black singer clearly needs to hotfoot her derriere and burgeoning beehive to some celebrity encrusted healing haven - but getting her there is another matter.
Several news sources claim that Wino has freely admitted that she needs help. Only yesterday The Sun quotes a source as saying:"Amy has admitted she needs to check into rehab again.
"There are too many temptations for her in the UK. People around her in London are making it impossible for her to stay clean for any length of time."
"Her management had considered flying her to a clinic in Israel but are now looking further afield. They are assessing a clinic in Cape Town in South Africa."
However, just to make things a tad more complicated, a spokesperson for Wino had this to say this morning:
"Amy's doing well. She is not going back to rehab at this time.
"Generally, she's having time off, recording a bit at her home studios, about to go back in the studio proper and working towards her husband's freedom.
"The problem is that her face looks bad because of impetigo - it's not a nice thing, but it's not related to drugs, it's a bacterial infection."
Aha, sure.
Are you seriously telling me that this spectacle isn't the result of some serious chemical dependency?
I'll go with The Sun's take on events. Their Doctor Carol Cooper said:"The damage is quite severe, but not unusual with crack cocaine abuse.
"She's got a number of sores, some of which look infected, and others that have formed ulcers."
Whatever she does, Wino should dump that incarcerated twit she calls a husband - she'll never be 'clean' with that druggie around.
Her rehab indecision reminds me of Vicki Pollard from Little Britain.
Update:
Wino's reportedly had an epiphany. She's off drugs. For good. Seriously. Says so here.
"Yeah, but no, but yeah?"
Fake take
Fans of Heath Ledger are being warned against buying Joker memorabilia claiming to be from The Dark Knight - because it's likely to be fake.
Several news reports indicate that bogus Los Angeles traders are peddling 'signed' Dark Knight piccies and posters emblazoned with Ledger's image to unsuspecting fans.
None of the materials are genuine ? because promotional material for the Batman flick has yet to be released to the masses.
A rep for Warner Bros, who are releasing the picture, said:"There are no Dark Knight posters or memorabilia connected to the movie on sale yet. We are investigating how they have been pirated."
Ledger's family is said to be "appalled" that Ledger's memory is being abused in such a way
Source: starpulse.com
No 1 fan
Bless Axl Rose - he's been lost in showbiz for what seems like, well, forever.
But while you and I may have forgotten the ginger-nut, it looks like he still has a reason to warble.
Clearly, someone at Dr. Pepper is a major Axl Rose fan.
The company has declared that it will hand out a free can of Dr.Pepper to everyone in America if Rose releases his Chinese Democracy this year. The only hitch is that Rose has been working on that album for the past ten years.
A spokesperson for the company said, "It took a little patience for us to perfect Dr Pepper's special mix of 23 ingredients, so we completely understand and empathize with Axl's question for the perfect album.
"We know once it's released, people will refer to it as "Dr Pepper for the ears" because it will be such a refreshing blend of rich, bold sounds - an instant classic."
Dr. Pepper is somewhat mistaken if he thinks IQs have dropped drastically in the ten years it's taken Rose to compose his opus - I can sniff a cheap marketing ploy at ten paces.
Be off with you and your cheap exploitation.
* This free Dr. Pepper offer clearly excludes former Guns n' Roses member, Slash. Rose no like you, so no free pop for you.
Desperate measures
Actress Demi Moore has confessed to using blood-sucking leeches in a bid to keep her skin looking young and healthy.
The 45-year-old actress is apparently a huge fan of a bizarre detox treatment that involves sticking bloodthirsty creatures on her body.
She said: "I feel like I've always been someone looking for the cutting edge
of things that optimize your health and healing.
"I was in Austria doing a cleanse and part of the treatment was leech
therapy.
"These aren't just swamp leeches though - we are talking about highly
trained medical leeches. These are not some low level scavengers - we're
talking high level blood suckers."
The age-defying actress revealed her penchant for the bloodsuckers while promoting her new flick Flawless on The Late Show with David Letterman.
Watch the interview here.
Give it a bone
FFS, just give it a rest, Heather Mills.
Mucca isn't letting sleeping dogs lie after her acrimonious divorce proceedings.
She's apparently now calling upon a team of her accountant to scrutinise and paw through Sir Paul McCartney's finances - to confirm whether he is really "only" worth $998 million.
Only? Greedy cow.
Mucca blabbed to the media last week that"we all know he's (McCartney) worth 800 million pounds".
However, a legal eagle says that even if Mucca can prove that Macca's worth more than he claimed, her investigation is futile.
"Mr Justice Bennett made the ruling based on Heather's need and also based on the standard of living the couple enjoyed when they were together.
"It is quite possible that even if Heather proves that Paul was worth 800million, it would not greatly affect the ruling. It is certainly not a given that she would even be granted leave to appeal."
Sources: heatworld.co.uk, entertainmentwise.com
Now that's ballsy
Imagine being able to ask Chelsea Clinton whether her mother's credibility was hurt during the Monica Lewinsky scandal...
Someone did, and here's the result.
Nice save, Chels.
Perpetual promotion
Right, that's it - there can be no more denial from Lindsay Lohan that she's shamelessly promoting a smokeless tobacco product.
Here's Li-Lo photographed for the umpteenth time this week traipsing around with a box of the said product strategically placed in her hand, with the brand clearly visible.
Own up, Li-Lo.
Damage limitation
George Lucas is clearly not feeling that optimistic about the release of upcoming flick, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
He says that fans' expectations from sequels are far too high and that he's not in the business for financial gain anyway.
Know something we don't Lucas?
That'll be a yes.
"We came back to do ('Indy') because we wanted to have fun. It's not going to make much money for us in the end. We all have some money... It would make a lot of money if you weren't rich. But we're not doing it for the money."
"When you do a movie like this, a sequel that's very, very anticipated, people anticipate ultimately that it's going to be the Second Coming. And it's not. But if you went back and looked at the other movies, they might not hold up the same way your memory holds up... When people approach the new ('Indiana Jones'), much like they did with 'Phantom Menace,' they have a tendency to be a little harder on it.
"You're not going to get a lot of accolades doing a movie like this. All you can do is lose."
Sentiments like that don't do much for a movie that's been re-scripted umpteen times and, from the look of the trailer at least, looks like a re-hash of old.
Anyway, here's the trailer for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
Source: holymoly.co.uk
She did it...
Desperate Housewives actress blames Victoria Beckham for baby rumours.
Longoria says that a pair of jeans she was given by the pouty one made her look like she was pregnant.
The net was recently rife with rumours that Longoria was pregnant.
But Longoria, 33, now says that she and hubby Tony Parker, 25, are definitely not having a baby.
'Victoria gave me a couple of pairs [of jeans] and I love them,' she tells Hollywood Scoop. '[But] they were so tight, my gut was hanging over the top before dinner.
'We came out of the restaurant and I was totally bloated. And now, apparently, I have a baby bump!'
Source: nowmagazine.co.uk
Katie Holmes 'Cracking'
I'm not surprised to read that life with the biggest egomaniac on the planet has finally got to Katie Holmes.
Holmes is reportedly"cracking" under the pressure of living with Tiny Tom Cruise, according to various news reports.
Star Magazine claims that Holmes is "exhausted" and is suffering from "debilitating headaches and dizzy spells as a result of her marriage."
Sources who witnessed a "pale, feeble and emaciated" Holmes eating at a LA restaurant recently, said she appeared to be disorientated when she left her seat and"braced herself against the doorframe before her bodyguard carefully guided her into a waiting SUV."
Rumour has it that Holmes' alleged extreme dieting and her manic husband may be contributing to her ill health.
"Katie doesn't get enough sleep - and hasn't for months now," says one insider.
"She's tired and drained much of the day because Tom is so wired, and they stay awake until after midnight. He has boundless energy, and she just can't compete."
The same source claims that Tiny Tom regularly disappears for days at a time, without telling Holmes where he's going.
"His rule is 'You can be with me, but don't ask about it,'" says a source.
And my answer to that would be:"Tom, baby - it's my way or the highway."
Quote of the day
"What else is there for me to conquer? Hopefully my ego. How will I know when I've succeeded? When I stop caring what anyone thinks." - Madonna, Q magazine
Something for the weekend
Pregnant 'man'
A transgender wo(man) is pregnant. Guaranteed to make your eyes pop.
Man bump here
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Fast gossip
Give me five minutes and I'll tell you everything...
* Lily Allen snags herself a fella: Bauer-Griffin Online
* Marriage-happy Kate Moss just drank too much: Hollywood Rag
* This frightens me a little: POTO
* A creepy look inside Neverland Ranch: CS
* The 'How I Met Your Mother' cast was warned against bringing up "trigger subjects" with Britney Spears: YH
* Christina Ricci needs to stay away from the tattoo parlor: Agent BedHead
* Liev Schreiber is a hot dad: A Socialite's Life
* Posh squeezed her bony ass into the tightest pants she could find: A Socialite's Life
* Jamie Lynn Spears is planning a shotgun wedding: Just Jared
* nzherald.co.nz is not responsible for the content of external websites.