Amelia Berry's trans journey to hit Laneway Stage with Polyester

NZ Herald·

24 Jan, 2018 10:00 PM3 mins to read

Auckland band Polyester: (Front L-R) Michael Garelja, Sylvia Dew, (Back L-R) Amelia Berry,Tane Marques, Keria Paterson. Photo / Richard Symons (@princessrichard_)

Coming out is never easy, but doing so at one of the country's biggest festivals is something else.

Kiwi band Polyester has landed a spot on the line-up at this year's Laneway, where they'll play their latest single Different For a Boy live for their biggest audience yet.

It's their first release since Lucky Me came out last year, but more importantly, it takes the band in a far more personal direction as it tells the story of band member Amelia Berry coming out as a trans-woman.

"Writing it was kind of the first step to me coming out as trans to my fans," says Berry. "It was even more [coming out to] the band - it takes a lot of time to grapple with and it was a turning point for me and I think the band as well," says Berry.

At 26 years old, Berry realised her true identity just under two years ago, after leaving uni and "finally going out into the real world".

"It's something that I have tried to come to terms with for a very long time and it was only after making friends with other trans people that I was like, oh these aren't like, scary monsters, these are just men and women and this is just me," she says.

"I think for most people who are trans, they always know that they're trans, there's just a lot of things in society telling you that it's a really bad idea to pursue that."

But once she did, she did it through music. She says music is how she's always worked through difficult emotions.

The resulting track is a dreamy, 80s pop ballad which feels reminiscent of The Cure and The Smiths. The lyrics are steeped in nostalgia as Berry looks back on simple memories, wondering is it different for a boy?

And now she'll get to play it for Laneway's audience who, even if they can't relate to Berry's story, can find their own meaning as the lyrics are fairly ambiguous.

As it's performed by lead singer Sylvia Dew, it could easily read as a woman singing about love.

"I find it very cathartic to turn these very personal things into something that can emotionally affect other people. People tend to find it more generally emotionally affecting which is kind of what I was going for - I just want to break hearts," laughs Berry.

But while the ambiguity makes it more accessible, Berry wants the story behind it to be known so she can give the trans community more visibility.

"I know a lot of people who are like, 'everything's bloody trans now, there's trans TV shows and things', but I know when I was growing up the only trans people that you saw were punchlines in bad comedy movies," she says.

"So visibility is important and that's part of why, with this song, I'm like, yeah, this about me being trans because then hopefully some people who are having trouble will see that and be like, 'oh, it is okay'."