KEY POINTS:
COMEDY FEST Q&A
Who: Al Pitcher (NZ)
When: April 19 to 26 at 7pm
Where: Transmission Room, Mayoral Drive
Why should we see your show?
Because it is about that day, it's funny, it's on at 7pm (good time that) it's in the city (good place that) and I'm really looking forward to poking you on Facebook afterwards.
Tell us a joke in 25 words or less.
My dad's joke, where do you find a turtle with no legs? Where you left it. Classic. All my jokes are 26 words long, damn those restrictions.
Who is the funniest person you know and why?
My mum. Because she has no fear of it going wrong, she will turn a situation around by taking the comedic bull by the horns and making people laugh, she has no shame at all.
If you were a Conchord, which one would you be and why? (Brett or Jemaine)
Jermaine - he's bulkier but has those glasses which mesmerise me, I find his eyes hypnotic. You asked.
Have you ever died on stage? What happened?
No comic hasn't died onstage, if they say they haven't they are lying. I did a gig in Norwich in England, for 20 minutes all I heard was the sound of cutlery as the audience ate and my sneakers squeaking on the stage. It's awkward leaving the gig, because you just don't want to look any of the audience in the eye as you leave. You get on the train home (which I delayed) and begin to cry.
What were you like as a child?
Exactly like I am now just smaller. I had less hair, less debt, less hatred of reality TV, less of a bleak outlook on global warming and less problems apologising to people the next day after parties. Just the same really.
If you weren't a comedian you'd be ...
A really poor spy. I would love to do undercover work, go to cities, different passports, different names.
But I would mess it up by telling people what I was doing because I get excited when people want to chat. I would blow my cover and get shot in the leg and you can't be a spy with an obvious limp, can you?
