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The Auckland Festival 2009 starts next Thursday and while that guy in jeans who splashes about in the bath is back, there's also everything from storytime for the kids, a pair of German punk rockers, and a wordless play about hardship and hope. Here, in no particular order, are TimeOut's top 10 picks for the festival.
Most likely to suit new Kiwis ... THE ARRIVAL
It won't matter if the kids are too young to talk or if you decide to bring a non-English-speaking friend to the theatre. This surreal stage production is wordless. Based on a graphic novel by Australian artist Shaun Tan, and adapted for the stage by Red Leap Theatre's Kate Parker and Julie Nolan, The Arrival tells the story of a struggling man forced to flee his home, wife and child and find security within a strange new world. He's not just dealing with new languages, customs and animals but flying ships, strange birds and travelling balloons.
SUMMING UP: The Adventures of Baron Munchausen + Chaplin's The Immigrant.
The Civic, March 12-15, tickets $25-$55 from www.the-edge.co.nz
Most likely to send you to night school ... THE WIFE WHO SPOKE JAPANESE IN HER SLEEP
Now here's a good excuse to nod off in the theatre. Adapted from Vivienne Plumb's award-winning short story, this Auckland Theatre Company play is directed by Colin McColl and stars Alison Quigan as Honey Tarbox, a supposedly ordinary Kiwi housewife who speaks in tongues while getting her shut-eye, much to the concern of her recently retired husband, Howard. The story is said to "reveal a world of magic realism lurking behind the manicured gardens of suburbia".
SUMMING UP: Desperate Housewives + Memoirs of a Geisha + Shortland Street.
The Maidment Theatre, March 12-April 4, tickets $47-$57 from www.patronbase.com (click on Maidment Theatre)
Most likely to incite sibling rivalry ... DIE ROTEN PUNKTE
Sometimes rock 'n' roll is just unbelievable. In the case of German brother and sister duo Otto and Astrid Rot, the "best band in the world" according to the name of a previous single, a pinch of salt may be required if you're to withstand the endless bickering and technical hitches that are likely to go on between songs. Or should we say, loud examples of electro-thrash. Their Auckland Festival gigs are to celebrate the release of modest new single I Am A Lion.
SUMMING UP: Ashton Kutcher + Dresden Dolls + White Stripes
The Famous Spiegeltent, Aotea Square, March 5-6, tickets $30-$35 from www.the-edge.co.nz
Most likely to help with the housework ...SOLOS
German dancer and choreographer Susanne Linke is known for her physical strength, feminine imagery and the way she tells a story with her body. Joining guest dancers Urs Dietrich and Mareike Franz, she presents some of her most revered work for the first time in New Zealand, including Im Bade Wannen, (Bath Tubbing) in which she gives a domestic chore a sexy new image; Flood, which also incorporates the notion of water; and Transfiguration, set to Schubert's Death and the Maiden.
SUMMING UP: Swan Lake + back up dancers + spring cleaning
SkyCity Theatre, March 20-21, tickets $30-$55 from www.ticketek.co.nz
Most likely to yank your chain ... AMERICAN SONGS
The Auckland Philharmonic Orchestra celebrates the US in the 20th Century with this specially designed repertoire that includes Corigliano's Promenade Overture, Barber's Knoxville Summer of 1915, John Adams' The Wound Dresser and Copland's Old American Songs. In other words, it's a soundtrack to civil war elegy, the songs of the riverboats, the Shakers, the streets, children's and banjo folksongs. The concert ends with the vibrant Duke Ellington masterpiece for orchestra, Harlem.
SUMMING UP: Stars + Stripes + Strings
Auckland Town Hall, March 5, tickets $24-$110 from www.the-edge.co.nz
Most likely to cause a fit ... SIREN
It's not just Kylie Minogue who knows to sing while you're spinning. British artist, composer and performer Ray Lee has come up with a sound installation that does just that. He's rigged 29 large metal tripods with rotating arms, lights and speakers. So as they whirl, the room fills with electronic harmonies. You're invited to wander through this part-art, part-science project. You can also opt to buy a ticket that includes entry to Motat.
SUMMING UP: War of the Worlds + Harlem Gospel Choir
The Vehicle Gallery, Motat, March 14-22, tickets $20-$30 from www.the-edge.co.nz
Most likely to lose the keys ...TIM MINCHIN
He's the stand-up who likes to sit down - at the piano. This Aussie all-rounder studied music, theatre and English and honed his act at a cabaret club in Melbourne before producing a show for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival in 2005. He's since entertained audiences with a blend of piano pop balladry, naughty lyrics and physical comedy. Described as witty and unabashedly offensive, he's Victoria Wood's polar opposite.
SUMMING UP: Noel Coward + Iggy Pop
Festival Club, Lower NZ1, Aotea Centre, March 5-8, tickets $40-$45; $300-$350 for a table of six from www.the-edge.co.nz
Most likely to make you go 'ooh'... LA CLIQUE
They don't make circuses like they used to. Then again, spending a night with La Clique is like returning to an age when burlesque, cabaret and vaudeville were considered cutting-edge. The show's individual performers include gymnasts, a contortionist and a hula hoop artist and they're sexy, funny and strong. Of special note, the hottie in jeans who will splash you as he swims and spins in a bathtub; and the uber-strong aristocrats who maintain a stiff upper lip while engaging in seriously impressive gymnastic feats.
SUMMING UP: Dita Von Teese + Cirque du Soleil in the Great Depression.
The Famous Spiegeltent, Aotea Square, March 5-22, tickets $50-$55 from www.the-edge.co.nz
Most likely to bring back memories ... SPIEGELTENT STORY TIME
With its mirrored walls and 1930s decor, it won't be easy distracting the kids from the wondrous interior of Belgium's Famous Spiegeltent, one of the last of its kind in the world. But if anyone has a shot it's local children's writers. The family is invited to hear stories including (among others) Tessa Duder's Jellybean, about a young girl's passion for music, Peter Millet's wacky Humpty Rugby featuring "Kiwified" nursery rhymes and Paula Green's Flamingo Bandalingo, in which zoo animals come to life thanks to poems written by children.
SUMMING UP: The dish + the spoon + the circus
New Zealand Post Family Weekend, Famous Spiegeltent, Aotea Square, March 14-15, free, Readings from 10am-3.30pm. For times see www.aucklandfestival.co.nz and click on the For the Family page.
