But I keep watching because it's delivered some of the most thrilling television I can remember.
Sure, an All Blacks try in a World Cup match is exciting but believe me, friends, it ain't nothing compared to the fist pumping cheer of seeing an 80-year-old man walk into the middle of the senate floor to flash a thumbs down sign. No season finale has been as edge-of-your-seat, gripping viewing as that conclusion to America 2017.
If you want something to really sink your teeth into, well, here you go.
So, what's it about? Essentially, if you strip everything away, America's a cautionary tale. An anti-hero tragedy about a man who had everything yet always wanted more. It's a warning against greed, mad ego and the perils of possessing an insatiable power lust and a profound ignorance. It's about a giant dickhead, is what I'm saying.
I've never wanted something I've watched so much to come to an end.
I've been hooked since it started back in 2015. What a way to stat a show! Our supremely unlikeable main character - an older, portly fellow stuffed into an oversized suit with bewildering hair and a perplexing orange glow - descended from the heavens on a gold plated elevator to announce he'd be running for President.
His platform for power was a blatant contradiction; a self-proclaimed billionaire living atop a fancy tower but claiming a kinship with the common man while also taking every opportunity to remind the common man that he was in every possible way an exceptional man.
He was, he would tell us in those early seasons of America, a very stable genius who spoke with the best words and was in possession of an IQ he declared to be, "the highest,".
However, in the tradition of great tragedy he had to escalate. And he did. Simply being the smartest and best at all of the things wasn't enough. In a recent episode the character, now in the third year of his Presidency, stood on the White House lawn and pointed his stubby little finger towards heaven to pronounce, "I am the chosen one.".
Now, yes, I understand that this sounds like laughably bad writing. No character would ever act like that or say such an absurdity. But, after painstakingly building to this moment for four long years it was truly a pitch-perfect character moment that marked the highest possible point of delusion from which to fall from grace.
Earlier this year America pulled off a triumphant bait-and-switch on us viewers. The drama of its early years had been propelled by the mysterious Muller report, an ever-lurking threat to the anti-hero and a ray of hope in the grim dark. That storyline concluded in the most disheartening way possible. It looked like the baddies were going to get away with it. They were ripping families apart, putting children in camps, defending torch-carrying Nazis, destroying environmental laws, attempting to roll back human and civil rights and inciting violence and civil war.
And that's where we're at now. In storytelling, this is called the lowest point and its when the heroes rally and rise.
Sure enough, just last week America took a dramatic turn. A seemingly innocuous phone call being the catalyst for a frenzy of bombshell revelations and tide-turning action, of deceptions revealed and betrayals unmasked, of truth finally being held to power.
Right now the chosen one is not showing good grace. He's agitated and angry, shouting into the void of Twitter and into the faces of journalists, scrambling for an escape from the doomed walls of impeachment closing in around him.
Is this the end? I have no idea. America's had more twists and turns than the Karangahake Gorge and I long ago stopped trying to predict what was gonna happen next. But I do know that I've never wanted something I've watched so much to come to an end.
