The Insider: Scuttled

NZ First MP Richard Prosser gets excited when he talks about the military. This week, he said if NZ First was part of the next government, it would boost defence spending, and he believed New Zealand needed eight frigates, not just two. No one seems to have told him that in a previous government his leader, Winston Peters, helped scuttle the purchase of a third frigate.

GRIPPING STUFF

Auckland this week hosted the NZ Association of Economists conference. Proceedings were closed to the media, but The Insider's scrutiny of the programme reveals that economists are into everything. Papers range from everyday matters - "The economic impacts of minimum parking requirements in Auckland", to "Safety in the New Zealand sex industry", to the inscrutable: "A Monte Carlo Analysis of the Performance of Alternative Meta-Analysis Estimators."

WRONG NUMBER

Telecom is shoring up one of its sub-brands - Skinny Mobile, the cheap prepaid network aimed at the youth market. A consortium of marketing agencies to represent the brand was announced this week. Free handsets were also sent to some media folk and social influencers - two each, so recipients could give one to a friend, and if both signed up with Skinny, go into a draw for a trip to Sydney. The sign-up requirements were a bit much for some, and a few freebie phones ended up in the bin.

NO, MINISTER

The Department of the Prime Minister and Cabinet, Treasury and the State Services Commission are meant to be the "central agencies" that lead by example. But among other departments they have a reputation for their "do as I say, not as I do" attitude. A classic example was the project in which the trio shared support services, such as human resources management and information technology. Central Agencies Shared Services (CASS) was meant to be the show pony for efficiency and co-operation. Instead, an Auditor-General's report reveals it was a bit of a disaster, making the old TV programme Yes, Minister look like a documentary. Despite not being ready to make the change, managers pressed on with CASS, partly because the SSC's lease on offices was running out. Then, some staff involved found they couldn't do their jobs because they didn't have security clearance to go into the offices they were meant to be supporting.

WORD-TANGLERS

In the heat of debate, politicians sometimes muck up their words. This week David Shearer accused Murray McCully of "butt shoving". Shearer appeared to mean "buck shifting", or maybe the old-fashioned "duck shoving". Hekia Parata said a "shipload" of money was being spent on education - which is, hopefully, precisely what she meant to say.

WRONG TARGETS

Protesters sometimes choose strange places to vent their frustrations. The Greens marched on the Department of Conservation to protest about the plight of Maui's dolphin, even though most of those inside are probably rather fond of dolphins. Stranger still was the group angered by Egypt imprisoning journalists and political activists, who shouted outside the American Consulate in Auckland. The good old USA is responsible for many things, but that may have been taking things a bit too far.

BYE-BYE BLACKBERRY

Underlining the remarkable decline of the once ubiquitous BlackBerry, the Parliamentary Service says it will not support the device for staff and MPs when the next Parliament is elected. The few MPs still with the phones will be on their own.

GOING QUIETLY

Retiring National MP Tau Henare has disappointed many by saying he will not make a valedictory speech in Parliament. Henare has never been shy of sharing his views and many were hoping for a parting shot.

FALLEN ARCHES

Crimeans craving a Big Mac will have to make do with a Czar Cheeseburger, as Rusburger opens in a former McDonald's outlet in the annexed peninsula. McDonald's pulled out of Crimea in April, after Russia grabbed the region from Ukraine. "Consumers are tired of tastelessness and are missing the taste of Russia," Rusburger says on its website. "Ours is better."