The Ex-Files: Jeremy Sutton on relationship strains from working from home

"My partner is not working on our business sales like he should and instead is investing huge time in gaming". Photo / 123rf

OPINION

Q: My partner and I are having issues in our relationship because we’re both working from home (we share a business).

I like to travel and socialise and my partner loves our two dogs and does not like to leave home.

My partner is investing huge time in gaming and I’m not sure how much money is being spent and won or lost in his account. I suspect he is losing a lot of money.

My partner is not working on our business sales like he should and he is lazy with the housework.

We have separated but live in the same house. My partner doesn’t want to move out and neither do I.

How can we divide relationship property?

A: I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing difficulties in your relationship, partly due to working from home.

It can be challenging to balance your work and home duties when sharing the home.

Here are my suggestions:

Set boundaries

Do you have a separate workspace? If not, think about working outside the home, from a shared office space or cafe some of the time.

Communicate with your partner and establish boundaries for working hours and break times.

If housework is an issue, discuss getting a cleaner.

Take breaks

Have structure to your day. Take regular breaks and stop for lunch. Turn off your phone and computer during these times.

Have good tools for working at home

Invest in a good desk and chair. Look at security and privacy concerns. Headphones may assist if either of you are disturbed or need privacy for calls and Zoom meetings. Create the space with all the bells and whistles like you would at work. Have remote catch-ups with your work colleagues and friends during your working day.

Communicate

Communication is key to building and maintaining healthy relationships. Discuss your concerns about gaming with your partner openly and find ways to support each other. If you can’t talk to each other, get a third party involved like relationship therapist. Your GP can give you options for therapy.

Have outside interests and exercise

Make sure you both go out during your week.

If you find that handling the situation on your own is difficult, consider seeking help from a psychologist or other third party.

Working from home can also give you the chance to go for walks, go out to lunch or do DIY projects together.

Legal stuff

It’s not clear how long you have been separated. You need to divide your property and business. See if you can discuss what the property division is going to look like first. If you can’t talk about it, or if you are struggling to agree, then go and see a lawyer.

Conclusion

Write down all your assets and liabilities and your goals. If you are not sleeping well, see your GP. Create a plan but get your health better to cope with the change. Get yourself good personal and professional supports. Good luck!

- Jeremy Sutton is a barrister and family lawyer at Bastion Chambers.