Know your faults to find your strength

Time to look in the mirro: Alex Fidow and Jordan Paese, both 11, test out a flexible mirror at the launch of the Fonterra Science Roadshow at Miramar South School in Wellington last year. Photo / Mark Mitchell

A lack of self awareness could be holding back your career, warns Jasbindar Singh

HONESTY: Leaders who receive feedback with an open mind can take steps to improve their performance.

What we are unaware of controls us. - John Whitmoore, motor racing champion.

Jane is a highly intelligent, capable and "take charge" leader. The problem is no one really wants to work with her. The level of churn, "grizzle" and disengagement in her team is extremely high. According to Jane, the problem is "those people" - the finger is definitely pointing elsewhere and the situation has little to do with her or her leadership style.

When her manager gives her feedback she becomes defensive and argumentative, makes excuses and quickly shifts responsibility on to others as to why things may have gone wrong. Unfortunately for Jane, everyone else in the organisation sees her as being "the problem" but she lacks the essential skill of self awareness to get this.

So what exactly is self awareness and why is it so important? Self awareness is the ability to be in tune with one's feelings and emotions in the moment and its impact on one's relationship and work performance.

It is a critical competency in emotional and spiritual intelligence (EQ and SQ) and is the fundamental building block for success in life.

Self awareness enables us to make insightful and sharper decisions and course-correct as we go. It facilitates improved, authentic relationships with our boss, colleagues, team members, clients, suppliers, family and friends.

We are more effective when we exhibit high levels of self-awareness.

So how do we harness and develop this core competency? As Sir John Whitmore, motor racing champion and author of the best-selling Coaching for Performance puts it: "We have a measure of choice and control over what we are aware of, but what we are unaware of controls us."

Here are five things that will lead to increased self awareness:

* Become aware and mindful of how you are feeling in the moment.

* Try naming these emotions and feelings.

* Notice when your feelings and mood change - say if you find yourself getting upset or excited.

* Ask yourself why this might be the case.

* Become conscious of the impact of your feelings and emotions on your thoughts and consequent behaviour.

Self awareness is a powerful part of self-reflection, a practice most managers and leaders need to regularly engage in to stay on track with their goals. This ability to stand back and critically evaluate one's thoughts, assumptions, values and behaviour and take corrective action is the basis for problem-solving, building great teams and learning and development.

As a client said, "regular self-reflection - putting aside 30 minutes first thing in the morning - has enabled me to take a helicopter view and focus on the priorities.

"I am no longer fire fighting and am able to address the important, not just the urgent."

The role of feedback

Knowing your own strengths and weaknesses is a powerful advantage. Being open to feedback and reflecting on our experiences are two other ways of increasing our self awareness.

Our so-called failures can also provide fertile ground for increased self awareness and learning.

In business settings, self awareness can be fast tracked through management and leadership development courses and executive coaching.

A key component to any learning and development programme is self-assessment along with feedback from colleagues, direct reports and the manager. Suppliers and customers can also be part of this process. When it comes to feedback, there are four aspects of awareness:

* What we know about ourselves that others know too.

* What we know about ourselves but others don't.

* What we don't know about ourselves that others also don't know.

* What others know about us that we don't.

Leadership effectiveness

It is in the fourth category that feedback, if taken on board, can have a significant impact on one's management or leadership style.

If you are getting feedback about some aspect of your leadership style that you may have filtered out then now is the time to take notice.

A senior executive thought he demonstrated high levels of responsibility and was good at holding others to account and yet his profile showed up a rather low score of three out of 10.

It was a real eye-opener when he came face to face with his integrity and values profile and realised there were some serious gaps between what he thought and what he actually did.

Positive outcomes in the form of higher productivity, improved team and business relationships and positive feedback from those in your immediate environment can be not only rewarding but also humbling.

This was the case with another senior manager I was coaching who had been branded as someone with a confrontational and aggressive style.

Though initially sceptical (of course) of the feedback, he was able to take it on board as he realised that his attitude and behaviour were not serving him or others at all.

After a year of awareness of his mind-set and behaviour he was able to change his leadership style. The biggest win was that he managed to side-step career derailment.

Three steps to increase your leadership effectiveness:

* Ask for feedback. You may wish to ask five or six people for some key strengths as well as one thing you could do better to achieve your specified goals.

* Listen to this feedback - I mean really listen. More often than not, there will be a theme from your feedback providers.

* Take action. Decide what one thing you are going to focus on and enjoy growing your awareness and wisdom.

Jasbindar Singh, www.sqleadership.com, is a leadership coach and author. She helps managers deepen their self awareness and effectiveness.