Sean D'Souza: Hottest ideas take time to warm up

Copywriting follows the heater syndrome where the hottest, most dramatic part of the information tends to come after you've warmed up in the first few paragraphs. Photo / Thinkstock

Ever walked into a cold room on a chilly night?

You know what I mean. Step into a freezing room and turn the heating on full. The heater chugs. But the room is still brrrrr.

Then suddenly, about 15-20 minutes later, thou art toasty.

Aha, you've run into the heater syndrome of copywriting.

The heater, what?

Your copywriting needs blood to flow too, y'know. When you first start writing copy, you're all stiff. The words and the ideas need some loosening up.

There's not enough heat in your copy.

Yet, if you get to 150-200 words, your ideas are starting to flow.

The hottest, most dramatic part of your information is not sitting in paragraph 1, but is cuddled in the midst of hundreds of other words somewhere down in para 6 or 8 or 10.

The most outstanding part of your concept is not in the spotlight, but hidden away where it's likely to be missed completely.

The biggest reason why your opening paragraphs tend to sound ugh, is because you aren't paying attention to the heater syndrome.

So here's what you do to get things hotter again.

* Take an old article or piece of copy.

* Go down to the 150-200 word mark.

* Cut and paste the thought/copy around the 150-word mark and put it right at the top of your article/copy.

Here's what you'll find. Instead of: "Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Goldilocks. She went for a walk in the forest ..."

Around the 150-word mark, here's what comes up: "'This porridge is too hot!' she exclaimed. So, she tasted the porridge from the second bowl. 'This porridge is too cold,' she said. So, she tasted the last bowl of porridge. 'Ahhh, this porridge is just right,' she said happily and she ate it all up."

Can you see the difference?

The second set of words has more movement, more description, more mystery and intrigue. You want to know more.

And excuse me, but when a customer wants to know more, it means they're going to read more, aren't they?

Or to put it another way, if the reader doesn't read the first 50 words, they aren't likely to read much more. Which makes the first 50 words pretty important, doesn't it? The first 50 words of your speech, in your copy or in your article are your make or break point.

If the words grab your customer's brain, the brain wanders off to something more exciting. The movies do the "exciting bit", soaps do it, so why don't you?

Remember how the movie Titanic began? When did you see the boat sailing out? In the first few frames?

Or about 15-20 minutes into the movie? So what was in the first few minutes of the movie? Drama? Icebergs? People headed to their doom?

It's the heater syndrome. Drama. Power. Action. Intrigue. It's all buried 150-200 words into your copy.

Turn up the heat by moving your warm copy right to the top.

(Note: When I started writing this copy, I was struggling too. The "heater syndrome" idea was buried somewhere in the original copy. Once I got the "heater" concept moving, I was easily able to bind the rest of the article with the heat analogy. And the article became far more effective. So yes, I take my own advice, too, you know.)

This is the original text:

Do something really silly. Pull up one of the pieces of copy you've written. And start counting the words.

One hundred, 150 ...

Now look what you wrote at about the 150-word mark. Then look back at what the first few words of your paragraph looked like.

And kaboom it will hit you!

The opening paragraph is not sitting at the top (where you put it), but is cuddled in the midst of hundreds of other words. The most dramatic idea is not up, front and centre but hidden away, where it's likely to be missed completely.

Darn, darn, darn! The biggest reason why your opening paragraphs tend to sound ugh, is because you aren't paying attention to the heater syndrome.

The heater, what? You know what I mean. Step into a freezing room and turn the heating on full. The heater chugs. But the room is still brrrrr. Yet 15-20 minutes later, suddenly thou art toasty. Your copywriting needs blood to flow too, y'know.

Sean D'Souza is chief executive of Psychotactics and an international author and trainer. He is the author of The Brain Audit - Why Customers Buy (And Why They Don't).

psychotactics.com