4. Hear what our staff have to say about 'xxx'
5. Connect to hot links that take you to the quick quotes
6. Discover what makes 'xxx' so different.
What do you think about these six bullets?
Would they drive you to find out more about the company? I'm going to give you my very strong opinion about it.
Whoever put this together for them; along with whoever approved it; should be fired! Or at least severely reprimanded.
The thing is I, their potential customer, really don't care about their culture. Their thinking. Their staff patting themselves on the back.
READ MORE:
• Debbie Mayo-Smith: When it's OK to be a workaholic
• Debbie Mayo-Smith: Are you guilty of these time management mistakes?
I have very little spare time so the only inducement that would get me take my time to learn more about them is if they had written it from the perspective of: How am I going to benefit. Which of my problems they can solve? Where is the how I'll save time, how I'll save money, how I'll impress my clients.......
Please, before you create any communication be in website copy, a brochure, an advertisement, your next newsletter; before you send anything out - put your customers' shoes on.
1. Have you eliminated the I's, we's?
2. Is it chock full of benefits to them?
3. Is it of interest to them?
4. Is it glorifying you. If so will they care?
P.S. This applies on the personal explanation front to. Have a peek at my perfect elevator pitch column pain and gain for a perfect elevator pitch.
Debbie Mayo-Smith aka Ms Effective, gives speeches, seminars and trains on sales and personal productivity. Debbie helps you get more done in less time and increase profitability. Sign up for her monthly quick tip newsletter here. To have Debbie speak at your next event or train your team call 64 27 575 5359 or visit her website www.debbiespeaks.co.nz.