Learning recently that the Department of Conservation had warned freshwater anglers not to eat their catch, in case it contained traces of 1080 poison, my immediate response was that the deadly toxin might improve the taste.
This is because when eating trout, no matter how it's prepared, I've never managed to eliminate the fact that the flesh has the earthy taste of the grave.
Although I have a holiday residence at an address famed for its fishing, I haven't been inspired to join the devotees who trudge out in the miserable dawn light to catch something I believe is barely edible because of its muddy flavour.
More adventurous gourmet friends assure me that if I tried trout delicately smoked and infused with the likes of garlic and lemongrass, I'd be converted into showing more enthusiasm for spending endless hours throwing lures into the lake.
I'd rather eat boxed fish fingers from the supermarket freezer.