KEY POINTS:
The Business Herald has some alternative awards for those behind the most blundering, befuddling and brilliant moves of 2006.
The Kim Jong-Il Award for Idle Threats
Reserve Bank Governor Alan Bollard. If we all don't stop buying big screen TVs for Christmas he really, really will raise interest rates. Really.
The Rhino Hide Award
Phil Pryke and his fellow independent directors at Contact Energy win this one for shrugging off the slings and arrows thrown at them in the wake of the failed "merger" plan by parent company Origin. Pryke and co backed the deal which went down like a lead balloon with shareholders. But they survived a well co-ordinated bid to have them axed at the company's AGM this year. Telecom's Theresa Gattung comes a close second for still having a job at the end of the year after ignoring numerous calls for her head.
The Ernest Rutherford Award for Contribution to American Military Might
We can't confirm or deny whether Rakon has won this award. We're not even sure there is an award. In fact, forget we even mentioned it.
Float Of The Year
A close call but Delegats wins our award based on a "holistic" judging criteria. Technically, Rakon has been the best performer with gains of $2.10 on its issue price of $1.60 but that does beg questions about the pricing of the float. Maybe more value could have been extracted for the owners - not that new shareholders will be too worried about that. Delegats, meanwhile, has also had an excellent run, putting 95c on since being issued at $1.40. There were plenty of doubters in the market in the weeks before it listed and even talk that the listing might have been scrapped.
Jerry Collins Award for Heavy Hitting
GPG hard man Tony Gibbs, who took on Revenue Minister Peter Dunne and won - or at least won some concessions for his shareholders. He and a couple of mates (Greg Muir and John Goulter) also spear-tackled the Vector board and caused a minor market meltdown and a good deal of public angst for chairman Michael Stiassny.
Worst Piece of Business Jargon
"For personal reasons" as a description of why a director or senior manager has resigned. This should generally be read as code for some sort of illness either for the person concerned or their family. But increasingly this year it seems to have been adopted as code for "there has been a falling out in the boardroom but we don't want to tell anyone about it".
Quote Of The Year
The nominees:
"I certainly don't believe that it's going to be worse than what it is this year. It can only be better with the Kazakhstan factor."
Graham Roberts, Turners Auctions' chief executive, talking about prospects for Japanese car imports next year after a ban by Kazakhstan on right-hand-drive imports.
"I guess that's a real lesson to me ... don't believe in big corporate America."
Navman founder Peter Maire comments on the troubled state of the company he sold to US marine and leisure products giant Brunswick for $108 million in 2004.
Sealegs chief executive David McKee Wright concedes his company's new product has similarities to Alan Gibbs' Quadski in that they are both "farm bike-jetski combination-type products".
(Both products were launched this week.)
"The next time Telecom is venturing anywhere near space, we'll make sure we get our galactic language more clear."
Telecom spokesman John Goulter, defending the company's claim it would send a competition winner into space, when in fact the winner was to go only as far as the stratosphere.
"I'm confident it can flourish again."
Feltex chairman Tim Saunders says the carpet-maker is "getting its act together better".
And the winner is ...
Theresa Gattung, who in March told an Australian forum that the threat of regulation could be discounted because "the Government is way too smart to do anything dumb".
The Moa Award for Achievement in Aviation
Nelson-based regional airline Origin Pacific almost had this sewn up. It is now unfortunately both flightless and extinct. But the winner is its heir apparent, Nelson-based Kiwi Pacific. In November it hit the headlines after putting up a website which stated it was a new regional airline with several planes including Boeing 737s. Its website claimed it was going to begin flying in early December ... and still does. There have been no updates since November and certainly no flights.
The George Bush Jr award for Excellence in Communication
Telstra Clear's chief executive, Alan Freeth, for his Merry Christmas email which basically told staff they had better work harder or the company was stuffed.
The Ricky Gervais Award (for stating the obvious in a manner which is both comic and painfully awkward)
Parliament's finance and expenditure committee chairman, Shane Jones, for declaring "Theresa's about to make the career-defining speech of her life" right before the embattled Telecom CEO delivered her oral submission on the legislation designed to force Telecom to open its network to competitors - the Telecommunications Amendment Bill.
The Howard Hughes Award for Most Reclusive Business Leader
This one is a tie between New Zealand's two richest women - Lynne Erceg, who sold family business Independent Liquor for $1.3 billion this month, and Jan Cameron, who sold Kathmandu for $275 million this year.
Given the tragedy surrounding the death of Independent Liquor founder Michael Erceg, Lynne Erceg's privacy has been largely respected by the media. She certainly hasn't sought the spotlight, although she was happy to have a brief chat to one Business Herald reporter.
Given Cameron's role as founder of the well-established Kathmandu business, her lack of media profile is more remarkable. We don't even have a photo of her. One other news organisation has a grainy, 14-year-old image. But basically, when it comes to being anonymous almost no one outside the inner circles of the mountaineering scene would know her if she ran them down in the street.
Graeme Hart has had one of his busiest years but we've seen less of him in public this year. With the last vestiges of Burns Philp disappearing off the ASX, it's not looking as if he'll be fronting up much in 2007. Of course he may yet have to step into the Swiss spotlight, depending on how his bid for SIG goes.
Surprise Deal of the Year
Surprise, surprise it's Graeme Hart - for his $2.8 billion bid to take over Swiss packaging giant SIG. Despite the fact that we should never be surprised by anything Hart does and despite the fact that writers dedicate countless words to second-guessing his next moves, he never fails to disappoint. A close second this year is Mooring Systems for its merger with Dutch firm Cavotec while retaining its listing on the NZX. Cavotec, a privately owned company which designs and manufactures mobile power supply products used at sites such as ports and airports, has annual sales of $200 million. Mooring Systems, which makes automated ship mooring units, posted a loss of $675,000 for the year ended March 31 on the back of revenue of just $1.8 million.
Cock-Up of the Year
Text-messaging company Plus SMS, which in September was forced to tell the stock exchange it had mistakenly negotiated unusable fixed-line instead of mobile contracts. The company also said a strategic review had revealed contracts previously negotiated with various telco operators were mainly for fixed-line numbers and therefore unusable. Plus SMS plans to sell single mobile codes for companies to use in global text-message campaigns ... So remember, guys: That means those little phones that you can put in your pocket, not the big ones that plug in the wall. The stock was suitably punished on the sharemarket and is now the subject of a Securities Commission inquiry.
