The scene: an upmarket Wellington eatery.
The event: Fisheries Minister Pete "barrel o' laughs" Hodgson officially certifies the hoki fishery.
The players: the Seafood Industry Council and hangers-on, including one Biz staffer.
Whooping it up for dinner, the group's conversation drifts to eating fish, and then to duck. Bellows one dinner-goer: "Those bloody Italians eat anything with feathers!"
He then proceeded to say that on a recent visit to Italy he noticed birds the size of 20c pieces were first course platters.
A lady at the adjacent table leaned over and tapped our Biz staffer on the shoulder, saying the Italian Ambassador was dining with her and was a little offended by the overheard conversation. To which the story-teller retorted "I don't care!" and repeated his story at a higher volume.
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As for Pete Hodgson MP, his contribution to launching hoki as a sustainable fishery was cut short when he was whisked away after just 15 minutes to appear on Holmes - to discuss the use of unsustainable African timber in the Beehive refurbishment.
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And still with Italians: More than 50,000 of them were fined in the first week of a new law passed recently mandating the use of helmets when riding bikes and scooters.
Apparently the stylish masses abhor "helmet hair" and say bulky helmets are unattractive and damaging to trendy hairstyles. BMW's C1 motorcycle, the only two-wheeler that can be ridden without helmets thanks to a protective roof, is a hit.
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The days when shareholders, some dressed in army fatigues, spat tacks at the board of Brierley Investments have long gone, mostly because an ocean, a continent and a couple of seas now separate the two groups. Instead, Brierley executives have the pleasure of ambling up to their Singapore media briefing, giving some rather "silk purse/sow's ear" reasoning for their dire financials, and then, facing not a single question from local media, tuck into a tasty dim sum or two.
But more than one 20-something local journalist was heard to mutter, on waking at the end of the meeting, "this company is dumb!"
The only moment approaching levity came when BIL's substantial chief executive Greg Terry expressed empathy with new Air New Zealand top dog Gary Toomey. "We have the same initials, the same height and the same weight. Only he's not as handsome as I," he opined.
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The Warehouse has decided to save the ears and eyes of Queenslanders from the constant bashing of TV and radio ads for Solly's bargain stores.
It seems ads for the former Silly Solly's - the chain bought by The Warehouse last August - ran several times an hour, 24 hours a day on Queensland TV, annoying tourists and locals alike.
At an analysts' meeting last week, chief executive Greg Muir said The Warehouse was reviewing its advertising in Australia and would be cutting back the Solly's overload.
Said Muir: "Like the poor guy who drives the Mr Whippy van, you get to the point where if you hear Greensleeves again you feel like you need to shoot someone."
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We note that BIL's share price has doubled this week after its two-for-one split and denomination in US dollars. A couple more such cosmetic rejigs and perhaps we really will have the $2 share that Greg Terry and other BIL scions have been promising for eons.
<i>The biz:</i> By hoki, what foul capital manners
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