KEY POINTS:
Hooray! The recession is going to be good for our kids. Well, middle-class ones anyway. I have been to quite a few kids' birthday parties lately. Apart from the rare treat of saveloys and the new politically correct pass-the-parcel where every layer has a present so no one goes home empty-handed - argh! - it is hard to ignore how emphatically kids now rule the roost.
Oh, in my house too, but sometimes it is harder to see what is right under your nose. There is no room for adults among the electronic gadgetry, trampolines, playhouses, scooters, trikes, skateboards, boogie boards and board games.
The fact that the children's paraphernalia has taken over the house is symbolic of the way the power balance has shifted so wonkily into children's favour. It's not just the tide of Made in China plastic - the disco pirate pony teapot that breaks two minutes after you get it home from The Warehouse. It is also the amount of influence children have. This is not good; as any therapist will tell you, there is one quick way to turn a child into a psychopath - don't give them clear boundaries.
The only topics of conversation among parents are about the ankle biters and their various extracurricular activities, school zones and food allergies. The economic downturn has one thing going for it; at least there is now something else to talk about apart from Tarquin's cello lessons.
I am hoping our straitened economic circumstances are going to limit how much middle-class parents can indulge their kids - me included. Already, hard times have spelt the end of that repulsive caricature, the yummy mummy.
The Alpha Mummy blog reports that "yummies" are being driven back to work by a combination of financial failure and the new austerity. And childcare guru Penelope Leach has written a new book, Childcare Today, saying childcare is not intrinsically damaging and it is good for kids to see their parents working rather than ferrying them around to playdates.
Children may also benefit in other ways from the meltdown. Generation Y grads have a grotesque amount of self-regard and think they should swan into their first job doing something glamorous like PR for MTV or maybe slumming it as Barack Obama's personal assistant. They certainly never think they should have to do the photocopying. The next generation - Gen Z perhaps - may simply be grateful to earn a gluten-free crust.
Of course, parents have to make sure their kids are aware of economic realities. This is not a foregone conclusion. In the US, consumer analysts call children "recession-resistant", as spending on kids is often the last thing to go. And there is mixed advice about how much you should tell your children about the turmoil. "It is nearly impossible to completely shield your child from the recession," bemoans one NBC commentator.
Why should you try? Janet Bodnar, author of Dollars & Sense for Kids, makes it sound easy when she says you should be straight up with your children - but also reassuring. "This could be something they could tell their children about, just like our grandparents told us about the Great Depression." So that's it then. Repeat after me: "In my day we walked to school in the snow with no shoes."
deborah@coneandco.com
