KEY POINTS:
Now that we have voted in a National Government, some of my Facebook friends are happy and some are not.
Cameron Slater (the blogger Whale Oil Beef Hooked - say it fast) updated his Facebook status to say he was happy as a pig in its sty. Brent Wheeler and Josh Easby are cheering to see the back of Winston. "Byeeee," said Josh, who has just returned to New Zealand. Sean Plunket says it was a great night to be a journalist.
Stephen Franks was "inspired for change" last Tuesday. Although now, maybe not so much. Cathy Odgers says anything has got to be better than Helen Clark. Aaron Lucas is hoping the Maori Party doesn't get as many toys as Act. Ben Thomas understands that cats and dogs live in harmony in John Key's New Zealand. I suspect he is being a sarky barsty. Francis Till, who works for John Key, is amazed at having such good conversations with strangers.
Peter Vegas, who lives in Dubai, is playing "'my new leader has more charisma than your new leader' with a drunk American". But Vegas is a copywriter so I suspect he is a sarky bastard too. Jo De Joux, who works for National, is thrilled but looking forward to being a full-time mother again. David Farrar drank too much celebrating but it was worth it.
But not everyone was so jolly. Mary Durham's Facebook status said she thought New Zealanders had more brains. Simon Grigg said no one remembered how stink the last National Government was. Stefan Wolf was gutted - oh, but that was because he missed out on a Leonard Cohen ticket. Another friend, who shall remain nameless because I am probably breaking some sacred Facebook protocol, said he felt as though a good friend had died. "I'm going to miss you Helen."
Left-slumping commentator Chris Trotter isn't on Facebook, but he was even more severely bent out of shape on Sunday morning. "Well, the New Zealand Left has woken up to its very own 9/11," was the thundering and rather bad taste intro to his Sunday Star-Times column. Er, no, actually, dude. 9/11 was a tragic historic terrorist attack in which thousands of innocent people died. Saturday was our regular three-yearly election day when, this time, half of New Zealand's voting populace thought it would be nice to give the other crowd a turn in Government. Spot the difference?
Still, isn't it interesting how lefties who are supposedly meant to subscribe to all that handholding guff about consultation and redemption turn positively vicious when they have power snatched away from them? Trotter's column, "The night MMP couldn't save us from ourselves" - the most read story on Stuff's website - espoused the view that people who voted for the new Government were dumb, mean, smug, selfish and stupid, boorish, cynical with a crippling fear, a hunger to punish and a lack of simple human decency. They speak highly of you, too.
Trotter goes on to say that it was insecure men who voted Labour out of office. "The men who just couldn't cope with the idea of being led by an intelligent, idealistic, free-spirited woman; the gutless, witless, passionless creatures of the barbecue-pit and the sports bar (and the feckless females who put up with them)." Trotter should think about whether those words - mean, smug and lacking human decency - might apply to him in his snobby attitudes to National voters.
Still, I should be grateful. I was only feeling moderately chuffed about the Nats' victory - given everything else that is going on in the world it seems a bit academic - until I read Trotter's column which was enough to make me want to rush out and sign up for the VRWC (Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, doncha know). My Facebook status has said "Deborah Hill Cone is toired" for the last three days. I am going to change it to "Deborah Hill Cone is bloody delighted."
deborah@coneandco.com
