KEY POINTS:
The dons at AUT, New Zealand's best journalism school, invite me along from time to time to give my standard "business is sexy" spiel to their students. The brief is basically to disabuse the bright young things of the notion that doing the business round is boring. I used to be able to express myself in a spritely manner on this topic since I'm a gal who gets a kick out of capital adequacy ratios - but lately I am starting to wonder whether I should give up and just tell them the truth: most business people are rather dull. Many are grown-up head boys: clean their BMW with a toothbrush; play golf; live in the eastern suburbs; favourite book is the Da Vinci Code; favourite movie, the Shawshank Redemption; latest album bought, Bic Runga - but secretly don't mind Celine Dion (and not in a kitsch way either). But what is new, is many of these crashers are sadly trying to make themselves seem interesting by wearing black polo necks and sponsoring the arts. You can see them patting themselves on the back at the NBR's Business Sponsorship of the Arts awards. I wish they wouldn't.
Rulers and very wealthy people have always sponsored artists to further their political ambitions and social positions - and not much has changed.
But there is something extra-bogus about the fakery of corporates today who talk about "partnerships" with the arts - and how it's an expense that boosts the bottom line. Australia Council chairman James Strong was quoted in the NBR arts sponsorship bumf saying: "A two-way partnership that allows your arts partner to tap into your business knowledge and expertise and you to tap into their creative streak - can pay dividends." Oh, come on. Most arts "partnerships" are more like a loveless marriage. The arts side think the suits are capitalist philistines: the suits think the arts lot are hippy spinners.
If there really is a strong business case for arts sponsorships then where are the figures? And if it is about feeding the soul, please admit your soul is more attached to the Rugby World Cup than the Booker Prize and that you chose the Karl Maugham because it matches your lounge suite.
Most business people have little respect for artists - they find it hard to understand anyone who doesn't want to make lots of money and live in a house with muted downlights and brushed aluminium appliances. Case in point: law firm Bell Gully, which famously breached copyright by sandblasting lines of Bill Manhire and Gregory O'Brien poetry on their glass partitions without permission or payment. Well, it's just poetry, eh?
For many CEOs, an invitation to the opera is the equivalent of a distress purchase but teeth must be gritted because it is a good networking opportunity - after all, Helen Clark will be there. I prefer the approach of former Tower managing director James Boonzaier. When he ran the insurer, it sponsored everything from choral music to ballet because he genuinely loved the arts and he didn't pretend otherwise. I am obliged to point out that under his stewardship Tower almost collapsed, but you take my point. Knock yourself out and sponsor the arts, but admit you are only doing it because it adds some ersatz Bohemian glamour to your brand and really, you would rather be watching the rugger.
