KEY POINTS:
I don't get much in the way of freebies these days, being a SAHM (the blogosphere's snickering acronym for Stay At Home Mother). Although I did get a lovely bucket of free icecream from Diane Foreman, who owns NZ Natural. And PR guru Deborah Pead sent me an ambitious sausage-casing contraption, a new generation corset to flatten my post-baby bouncy castle of a stomach (Jockey Shapewear). But I am not feeling too wistful about being left off the A-list. Hustling for free stuff is so goober-ish - unless like journalist Steve Braunias you make a gimmick out of it. If challenged about your journalistic integrity, you can claim you were simply being ironic rather than greedy for a Keith Matheson coat. Post-modernism has a lot to answer for.
Another delightful absurdity of life is that the more money you have, the more free stuff you get. The latest to ask for a freebie are rugger players. The former head of the rugby union, David Moffett, suggested their top guys should get special tax breaks. Apparently, the All Blacks could lose some chap called Dan Carter - never'eard of 'im - as he is off contract and may chase a more lucrative package in the Northern Hemisphere. Moffett says the government could help by offering tax relief to top players, as they do in Ireland.
My first response? WTF. (Another charming bloggers' acronym.) If we're going to give tax breaks to rugby-heads, why not to other local achievers who are in demand overseas: Shortland Street actors and manuka honey researchers? Tax lawyers, even. But on reflection, maybe Moffett's idea is not so outrageous. Giving rugger players a financial leg up is no more illogical than giving blockbuster tax breaks to the Lord of the Rings movies. Or $14 million interest-free to graphics company Right Hemisphere.
Did the taxpayer get a top return from that handout? In case you've forgotten, Right Hemisphere is a computer company specialising in something called PGM - those acronyms again - product graphics management. Its website explains: "Right Hemisphere has partnered extensively since its inception" - funny, no mention of its biggest benefactor, the taxpayer, who in 2006 handed over US$8 million ($10 million) as a three-year interest free loan. Right Hemisphere's side of the bargain was to establish a 3D cluster of companies.
At least rugby players would offer some viewing pleasure and they are arguably New Zealand's biggest brand.
Putting it simply for SAHMs, surely freebie tax breaks are okay or they aren't. And if they are justifiable for "initiatives to secure and develop high-value economic activity in New Zealand", as the Right Hemisphere loan agreement declares, then surely All Blacks qualify under this remit.
Why not give them to this Dan Carter fellow? Or he might be forced to do sell his body to make ends meet. In a deeply post-modern ironic way, of course.
* deborah@coneandco.com
