You never want to burn professional bridges, even with your soon-to-be former employer. Photo / 123RF
Tips for how to act when your company doesn’t behave in the most humane of manners.
Q: I work for a large international bank, and my job was just made redundant because of restructuring and cost cutting measures. I’ve worked there for 25 years, so my redundancy package will be a year’s salary, which is great. My last day will be less than a month before 2022 bonuses are paid, and internal policy is firm that you have to be employed on bonus day to receive your bonus. I’m furious — after 25 very successful years, I can’t believe they are going to rob me of the bonus I worked hard for all year over a matter of 20 days. Legally, they can do this, so I don’t believe there is any point in getting a lawyer. What other recourse do I have? I’m tempted to post about it but know I’ll regret such an unprofessional decision later. - Anonymous
A: You should be furious. How you’re being treated is infuriating. Unfortunately, companies don’t care about your dedication and loyalty over years or even decades if those things end up costing them too much. Corporate indifference is craven and unfair. You have nothing to lose so you could, certainly, ask your employer if your last day can be pushed until after bonuses are distributed, but your separation date was probably chosen deliberately.
I don’t know that posting about being treated so poorly is unprofessional. It’s human. And corporations do not have feelings because they are not people. They aren’t going to care if you post about it. They probably won’t even know. That said, I imagine you’re looking for new work so it makes sense to hesitate about airing your grievances publicly. You never want to burn professional bridges, even when your soon-to-be former employer has handed you both gasoline and a torch.
Q: I’ve worked for about two years at a medium-sized firm. At my annual evaluation, I was expecting to receive information regarding my bonus. Instead, I was informed I was “not a good fit” and “no longer had a future here.” The ostensible reason was that I didn’t “mesh” well with the team. Until this moment, I felt comfortable and happy at work. It was clear they had made up their mind, and I mostly said nothing.
What happened next was odd: I wasn’t fired. I wasn’t even laid off. I was told I would not be staffed on any new business. I didn’t have to complete any work I was currently on (but could if I want), and I could choose what to say about why I was not completing assignments. They also said they would “support me” as I looked for a new job, continuing to pay my normal salary.
We can work remotely, so I just haven’t been coming in. My question is, what do I owe this company? On the one hand, this is a big favour and makes applying to new jobs easier. On the other, they’ve given me no timeline. I worry at any moment the paycheque will simply not come. In our handbook, if we’re laid off, we’re given three months’ severance. Is this all just a way to skirt around this? The whole situation is so bizarre that I’m not sure what to make of it. - Anonymous
A: This is one of the strangest dilemmas I have yet encountered. What you need now is clarity. If the company is currently paying you to do nothing, without an end date, your managers probably aren’t trying to skirt around severance. I cannot really figure out what is going on here. It seems that they are firing you without cause and don’t want any trouble so they’re willing to subsidize your transition into a new position. You could ask your employer what the time frame for this limbo is so you can plan next steps, but I worry that will bring attention to a pretty sweet deal. Regardless, you should be looking for a new position and shoring up whatever financial safety net you may have. You might even contact a few employment lawyers to see how they would advise navigating this strange situation. Something is definitely awry.
Q: I work at a small nonprofit. The new chief executive is gung-ho on hosting as many social functions as possible. She arranged one in the spring and provided guidelines beforehand via email such as “get to know five people you don’t normally work with; walk around with people from other teams; spend quality time with a teammate; take pictures for our monthly newsletter.” It made me (and others) dread attending — it was weird and so forced.
There are two more upcoming events and, as an introvert, I do not want to attend. Forced social gatherings make me uncomfortable and anxious. I like my job, but I hate feeling pressured to attend these events! How do I politely bow out? - Anonymous
A: Having guidelines for how to socialize during mandatory fun is a new twist. It sounds as if the new CEO has read a few books or articles about how to promote team bonding without considering what the team actually wants or would find useful. Generally, adults know how to socialise with work colleagues. They don’t need prompts. That said, this is manageable. Your job is just your job and though there is often an expectation that employees participate in mandatory fun, you are entitled to manage your free time as you see fit. Bow out of the mandatory fun that you don’t want to participate in by politely saying you cannot attend. Don’t offer a reason unless you’re asked. If you have to provide a reason, offer any of the numerous reasons we are busy after work. Wish those who will be attending well and keep it moving.
Q: A woman was recently hired to fill a desperately needed position where I work. It’s not an easy job, the pay is terrible and it has a steep learning curve, hence why it was so hard to fill. From what I’ve seen, she is learning quickly and, most importantly, is kind to the children we work with. She is Black, as are many of our kids, but she is one of the only Black people working here. Immediately, I noticed the people she works directly with being really hard on her and complaining about her behind her back.
One colleague complained to me about how much this new employee was getting paid, and I can’t even figure out why she would know that information. Another has started asking me to report to her about how this new employee is doing her job when she’s with me. I always say: “Yes, she’s great! I’m so glad we found someone for the position!” There have been loads of people in this position before her who were neither competent nor kind, so to me this all feels very clearly and obviously like racism. If she quits because of the toxic environment, our jobs get harder, the kids suffer, she’s out of a job. It’s a lose-lose-lose.
I want to talk to someone higher up, but I have no confidence it will be taken seriously. Our whole HR department quit and is being run by one overwhelmed retiree. The building administrators are all of the “not a racist bone in my body!” variety. I also don’t want to overstep because this woman and I barely know each other aside from friendly small talk, and it’s been only about two weeks. Should I speak to her first? Should I call out my colleagues directly? I’m not a confrontational person normally, but this situation is really bothering me. - Anonymous
A: Your colleagues are being racist. You should call them out directly, identifying the specific instances of their racism and microaggression. And yes, you should also bring up this racism to your administrators even if they would have voted for President Barack Obama for a third term. It is useful to have an institutional record even if that record will be ignored.
Sometimes, doing the right thing doesn’t effect change in the immediate. But it does demonstrate to your Black colleagues and other colleagues of colour that there is a true ally in their midst. You may also want to check in with your new colleague to see how she is adjusting and whether she needs anything. If this is how your other colleagues are talking to you about her, I imagine your workplace must be a very lonely and isolating place for her.
This article originally appeared in The New York Times.
Written by: Roxane Gay
©2023 THE NEW YORK TIMES
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