Ted Byrd was my first work best friend. When I joined the Free Lance-Star newspaper as a cub reporter, we immediately bonded. We'd attended the same university (albeit a decade apart); we both liked to run in the mornings and drink wine on Friday nights. More important, we enjoyed working together. We shared ideas, advice, annoyances and jokes. He made my professional — and personal — life better.
Since then I've developed other deep friendships through work. At the Financial Times, I met Rebecca Knight, who 20 years later feels like a sister, and David Baker, who was the first non family member to see an ultrasound of my son and who last year entertained him, then age 11, with magic tricks. At HBR, I have Dan McGinn, Scott Berinato and Amy Gallo — people who know me, my work and my life extremely well.
I'm one of the lucky ones. As a trio of 2020 books show, work friendships yield many benefits. In "Social Chemistry," Yale professor Marissa King explains that your social connections are a strong predictor of your cognitive functioning, resilience and engagement. She cites studies showing that teams of friends perform better; that people with supportive co-workers have more work-life balance and are less stressed; that strong personal ties increase information- and idea-sharing, self-confidence and learning; and that those who have close friends at work are more efficient in and satisfied with their jobs. She points to research by Tom Rath suggesting that if one of your colleagues is a "best" friend, you're seven times more engaged at work than the average person.
In "Together" the former U.S. surgeon general Vivek Murthy calls friendship fundamental to successful professional relationships, adding, "It's in our relationships that we find the emotional sustenance and power we need to thrive." And in "Friendship," an exploration of the "evolution, biology … and power" of these bonds, the sociologist Lydia Denworth writes that they give us purpose, meaning and a more positive outlook. The mere presence of a friend can make it easier to tackle challenges, she explains, and our blood pressure and immune cells are significantly affected by how much we like the people we spend our time with. (I'd add that, recent social distancing notwithstanding, most employed adults do spend more hours, virtually if not in person, with co-workers than with family or non work friends.)
Think, too, of all the famous BFFs who have teamed up to achieve greater success, by launching companies (Jobs and Wozniak), decoding our psyches (Kahneman and Tversky), dominating sports (LeBron and Wade), excelling creatively (Elton and Bernie) and supporting one another's careers (Oprah and Gayle).
