Business mentor: If you want to negotiate well, tell the truth ... slowly

Q: I've started my own business and am finding myself in foreign territory having to negotiate situations. Can you share with me any tips on being a better negotiator?

* Alan Patching, of Alan Patching and Associates, responds:

A: Negotiation is about the resolution of conflict, hopefully to the satisfaction of all the parties involved. Conflict itself is a touchy subject and, for most of us, something to be avoided if possible.

This attitude probably comes from the fact that most people link aggression with conflict. Conflict is no more than a difference of opinion and there is no need for aggression.

One of the reasons aggression so often appears is the lack of communication skills training we receive in formal education.

Good communication is the key to relating to others in a non-aggressive manner and it is one of the most important tools in the kit of the good negotiator.

1. Negotiation is always a process, never an event. Effective negotiators are well versed in the stages of the process and are careful to remain aware of where they are in any phase at any time.

2. In negotiation, preparation is power. Preparation is about the collection of information, and information is power. Never underestimate the necessity of detailed preparation if a successful result to the negotiation is to be expected.

3. Time is a critical factor. For the most part, it is something that can be controlled. It is a fact that most concessions in a negotiation are made at or near the deadline. It is, therefore, important not to disclose any true deadline that you have to the other party and to try to determine their one quickly.

4. If the other party appears to be anxious about reaching a solution, it could indicate their deadline is approaching. An attempt to prolong the process at this stage should prove useful.

5. Seek to identify common ground at the early stage of a negotiation. The more common ground that you can highlight, preferably in the sense of an apparent outright concession on your part, the better your chances of establishing a mood of co-operation and conciliation, which could result in concessions being made by the other party for less real movement on your part.

6. It is important to negotiate issues on principle and not on position. This, of course, presumes that you are looking for a fair outcome and not seeking to use an aggressive approach due to some substantial negotiating advantage that you perceive you have. Some texts propose that openness and honesty should always be features of the negotiation process.

That is certainly the case for personal relationships negotiations. However, there is a culture and tradition established in relation to commercial negotiations that would see any party being totally honest from the outcome lose heavily. Dishonesty is not promoted. We should always tell the truth.

However, we need to be careful with the timing for revelation of the whole of the truth.

7. Be aware not to confuse being compromising with being accommodating. Compromising is a win/win approach, accommodating will lead to a lose/win result with you the loser. Compromising comes from feelings of trust and focus on a fair solution. Accommodating generally comes from personal feelings of inferiority and need to win respect.

8. Always have the agreement documented. If possible do not leave this to the lawyers. It is surprising just how far apart the records of lawyers can be from the same meeting. Despite the work involved always insist on documenting the process and the agreement yourself.

Good luck with your negotiating.

* Alan Patching was formerly the chief executive of the organisation that owns the largest Olympic Stadium ever built, Sydney's Olympic Stadium. He negotiated the largest property transaction in Australia's property history ($1.2 billion) and negotiated the largest commercial leases ever signed in Australia.

To find out more about next Wednesday's half-day Knowledge Gym event featuring Alan Patching on "the psychology of persuasion" visit the website for The Knowledge Gym.

At this site you can also download 50 tips on negotiation.

* Email your small business questions to Georgina Bond. Answers are supplied by small business sector specialist Sarah Trotman.