"If you're planning to move elsewhere, it's still better to make where you are work better for you before the move. Look at it this way - you're used to the workplace culture where you are, and you know your manager. If you go elsewhere, those are things you may not know about."
Barhava-Monteith says it's not uncommon for people to start feeling restless in their job because their colleagues start commenting that they've been there a long time, and isn't it time for new challenges?
"That's not a good reason to move."
Also, she says, sometimes at the end of the year, a person is burned out with lots of demands and with dealing with a complex environment.
In the holidays that person asks: "Why am I doing this to myself ... I should leave." But when you do a type of job - say you're a knowledge worker - most jobs in that field will have high demands and have the potential to be difficult.
This is where knowing yourself is really important. What's happening in your life? Is changing jobs just shuffling the deck or will it improve things? Maybe the problem is where you're living/who you're living with or other things that are making [you] feel bad ... It's important to look at your personal journey
"Of course," says Barhava-Monteith, "there is a difference between a difficult work environment and a toxic environment.
"A difficult environment can present challenges that when you overcome them help you develop better resilience and ways of working, while a toxic environment can be incredibly destructive for you."
It's good to note that a work environment may be toxic for you while it isn't for your colleagues. "Say you have a high need for positive feedback - if you work for someone who only gives 'corrective' feedback and very little 'pats on the back', it could be toxic for you. For a secure person, it may not be the same."
Barhava-Monteith agrees sometimes people want to change jobs because they're generally unhappy in their lives, and they're transferring that unhappiness to the workplace.
"This is where knowing yourself is really important. What's happening in your life? Is changing jobs just shuffling the deck or will it improve things? Maybe the problem is where you're living/who you're living with or other things that are making [you] feel bad ... It's important to look at your personal journey."
As far as work is concerned, she suggests considering your strengths and values and with that awareness decide if your work is a good fit.
Most people change jobs because of conflict with a co-worker - often the boss - however, it's not great to move from one situation to another without identifying the issues in yourself. The risk in doing this is repeating the problems in the new place
"Be the director of your own life - what works for you? You may find that moving into the same line of work at a different place will not make you any happier long term, it may be worth looking at whether you want to change fields or if you can make your present work work for you. It's worth considering too whether some time with a work coach or counsellor may help."
Monique Knight, owner of the Tui Centre for psychotherapy and counselling, says that when we have a chance to take a holiday and rest, the issues we haven't had a chance to deal with because we've been so busy have a chance to come out and play.
"This can be really unsettling.
"When issues have not been prioritised they may lie dormant and get covered up by the busy-ness. When you get this unsettled feeling in the holidays, it's easy to grab for the first thing to blame and say: 'Ah, it must be my job'."
Knight suggests waiting for a bit later in the year to work out if it is about your job and then ask if the solution is to change the job, or to change something in yourself.
"Most people change jobs because of conflict with a co-worker - often the boss - however, it's not great to move from one situation to another without identifying the issues in yourself. The risk in doing this is repeating the problems in the new place."
Knight uses the following example: Say someone is highly efficient and not good at delegating, so does everything in the workplace and saves everyone, including the boss.
"This person can get dissatisfied when the boss isn't thankful and stressed because they're taking on such a big load. It would be good to look at the behaviour pattern and learn to step back a bit and mind your own business. If the pattern remains, the person is likely to feel taken advantage of in the new workplace eventually as well."
In short, Knight says, if you really want to leave your job, look to creating a new behaviour at work before you do, so you don't repeat the same scenario.
She also advises that if you do leave your job, make sure you don't leave it angry or with others angry at you. "New Zealand is too small to mess with future opportunities - your workmates may later become people who could employ you or recommend you for opportunities."
