What to do if you hate your job

We all have times when we dislike or even hate our job — perhaps it's about needing a break, that midwinter is getting to you, or that you're frustrated with a colleague and there seems to be no avenues to work that out.

It's important to think carefully about quitting though. Is the reason you are hating your job because of things that aren't going to change and you're feeling frustrated at that, or is there something that you can do to improve things?

Sometimes talking to your manager can help — work out a career plan and discuss whether staying in your current workplace will help you achieve it. You could find that your employer does not want to lose you. Hiring a new person and training them up is expensive, and the institutional knowledge you hold is probably valuable to them.

Many companies are focused on retention of staff. If the one you're working for has that focus, it may be possible to work out a plan that works both ways.

Some people do, however, find that advancement is best achieved by moving to another organisation into a higher position. It's wise to be aware of what's going on in the market and to be considering your next move — particularly in a job market that is constantly changing. Remaining doing the same tasks, year in, year out, can lead to a time when you are no longer current. Keeping current is vital, and it's worth noting whether your workplace is helping you to do that or is stagnating itself.

Research shows that there are three main reasons people leave their jobs: a manager, a lack of professional development and opportunity to grow and finally, of course, money. It surprises many people that money is often not the main reason.

As human beings we need to grow and develop and stagnating in a comfort zone can be uncomfortable and painful. Stress research shows employees who are under the most stress are those who are micro-managed (or have no autonomy over their work), those who are overworked and those who feel they are underworked (feeling like they're not growing and meeting their potential in the workplace and that they don't have enough work to do).

I think it's important to remember that we spend a lot of our time at the workplace — and while there does need to be some mundanity in the work we do (if everything was challenging, it would be exhausting), we do need to be enjoying a reasonable amount of what we do.

Colleagues and workplace culture are important too. If the workplace culture has created a bullying or unsafe environment and you're finding you're feeling anxious about going to work or developing depression, it's probably a good idea to decide whether it's worth it. Though work generally is good for mental health, according to research, some work environments can be damaging.

If you're hating your job, it's good to consider why that is so. If you are feeling anxious or depressed or are just needing a change, most employers in New Zealand do have employment assistance programmes where you get three or more confidential sessions with a counsellor for free. This could be a helpful way of working out what actually is going on.

It's interesting that targets of workplace bullying often don't realise they are being bullied, they just know that they dread going to work. Often they think perhaps a manager is picking on them because they are doing a bad job, rather than that they're being targeted.

If you talk through what's going on with a counsellor who is aware of what workplace bullying looks like, they may help you to identify what's going on. Workplace bullying targets are often people who are competent at their jobs and can't imagine that someone would be targeting them for no reason.

What's important is to be aware if you are being bullied is that this can lead to loss of confidence, anxiety, depression and even suicidal thought.

Does the job conflict with your values? If you care a lot about the environment, for example, and you're working for a company that harms the environment, it may not be a good fit for you.

If you are a bit of a loner and like to "just get on with it", working in a team may not be your best bet. Or, if you like connecting with others, solo work may be not for you.

Are your problems at work about feeling like you don't fit into the work culture?

Some people thrive on structure and for them a hierarchical work environment where they're clear on the next step up can be what helps them thrive. For others a more egalitarian workplace may be better, they prefer less hierarchy and more and a more level environment.

The key is knowing yourself — know where you thrive and know why you are hating your job. What's not working for you? And if you believe that you can be happier and more fulfilled elsewhere, consider getting that CV ready.

Val Leveson is an Auckland-based counsellor.