Romance in the workplace can work

Keep the lovey-dovey stuff outside the office. Photo / Getty Images

Communication is the key to ensuring that workplace relationships don't lead to toxic gossip. Workplace relationships have long been seen as a no-no. In the United States and Europe such relationships are banned; if a pair fall in love, one of them is contractually obliged to leave the workplace. Luckily, the Human Rights Act protects workers from such discrimination in New Zealand, but it does pay to be prudent when entering into a workplace love match.

Workplace romance is prime fodder for the water cooler gossip-mongers and it can be a tricky situation to navigate. But there are ways in which to mitigate any potential reputational damage that can arise if salacious stories start spreading; and with the right strategies in place, workplace romances can be successfully negotiated.

Lara Hellier is a human resources professional with the firm People Passion. She says finding yourself in the midst of a workplace love affair can be a positive experience, but admits there are potential minefields that need to be avoided.

This is particularly true if there is a power imbalance and one of the parties holds a more senior role than the other.

"If there is an authority imbalance or signs of bias, or conversely negative outcomes for a [junior] employee in the wake of a relationship break-up, this can affect the workplace," she says.

"But bear in mind that allegations of bias can occur everywhere; in family relationships, friendships, with neighbours, in social clubs, in sports. People connect in all sorts of ways and bias is a common assumption from those who miss out on opportunities."

Within the work context, Hellier says that clear and transparent human resource processes are the best way to avoid any claims of favouritism.

"Share your selection criteria and be prepared to give solid reasoning why one person was more suitable than the other. Use tangible measures for screening and have clear benchmarks," says Hellier.

Communication is the key to ensuring that workplace relationships don't lead to toxic gossip. Hellier says that talking to people early on and getting ahead of the rumour mill helps you to stay on top of any issues.

She believes that it's good practice to have regular staff engagement surveys, which allow any concerns around workplace relationships to be raised. But you need to be prepared to learn some tough truths.

"You may be surprised at what comes out of the woodwork, but you must be prepared to address issues that are raised, or you will lose credibility and trust from your team."

Those involved in workplace relationships are well advised to let the human resources team know what is happening from the outset, so they can help to mitigate any issues that might arise. Hellier recommends being upfront about exactly what is going on and checking if your company has any policies around workplace relationships. Then she advises that the parties involved use their best judgment to help smooth the waters.

If those involved in a workplace romance find that gossip and ill feeling becomes too much, there can be the temptation to move jobs. But this points to problems with the company culture as a whole, and may be a good opportunity for positive changes to me made.

Issues can easily arise in workplaces that don't have a good company culture, but sound practices and procedures can prevent this. If you are the subject of gossip, talk to your senior management or human resources team — it could help to kick off an important debate about wider issues surrounding staff morale.

Hellier says her advice is that companies should be present, accountable, and engaged with staff to ensure toxic gossip or other issues don't occur.

"[Putting in place] proper processes and good communication can ensure all staff are happy with the way in which a romantic relationship is being handled. The key thing is your company culture. Engaged employees who feel valued in their roles will generally put personal issues aside and get on with their roles."

Though Hellier acknowledges that workplace romance can be complex for all parties, she says that an employer who is engaged, open, communicative and approachable is likely to lead a team who are able to handle such relationships springing up in their midst. She says employers who are present and open will be able to engage with their staff effectively and ensure that any tensions are addressed early on.

"Be present, speak to all the parties, get support systems in place to minimise any fallout. Create a culture where someone will let you know what's going on if there is tension simmering so you can deal with it."

It also pays to be discreet — long lunches and sly snogs in the hall will be grist for the rumour mill — so keep the lovey-dovey stuff outside work.