I generally illustrate that the research shows that it is critical to use face-to-face when negotiating something very important to you whether it is a raise, change in job scope, meeting with a key client or customer, etc. Face-to-face is often the most effective method to use.
Your next best strategy is to use the phone. The downside is that you can't see the person (unless you Skype, etc.) so you can't really read their nonverbals which are important signals in the negotiation.
Make sure if you do use the phone that you treat it as if you are meeting face to face. Be positive, use clear, concise language, and make sure you listen to their views (give them time to talk).
Email is the least effective way to get an important deal done, unless it is the final part of the negotiation and you are closing the deal. But, be very careful in what you say, how you say it, and be as clear and concise as possible. Remember that your emails can be sent to anyone so make sure you read over your message before you send it.
So, generally, start with face-to-face for your most important negotiations, followed by phone, and last by email. You will be more successful in following these guidelines.
Below are some specific questions readers asked about workplace negotiations.
Q: I'll soon be getting a tentative offer for a job I really want. There is a set pay scale, and while I would willingly start at the bottom, I'd prefer not to. I've been burned by many years of frozen salaries. In effect, I haven't had a raise since 2008 despite excellent work (and no, it's not just me, it was firm wide, then agency wide).
How do I best justify starting closer to the middle, rather than the bottom of the grade? It's already going to be a jump of several thousand dollars, but truly, if I'd gotten the 3 to 5 per cent raises I've deserved during this time period, I'd be making $20,000 more than I do now.
I don't want to seem greedy to a new employer but this has gone on long enough, and I do have a mortgage and a baby to think about. On the other hand, they are aware of my current salary so they seem to be in the stronger position to just offer me the minimum. What would you do?
Do not worry about being greedy. Remember, the reference point should not be what you are making now, but what you should be making in the external market.
A: You have identified one of the biggest problems that occurs in job negotiations: they are thinking about what you currently make (if they get this data) as a starting point for the discussion.
You need to get some market data to get them to use the external market for the salary and not your current salary (which is less relevant). Look at glassdoor.com or salary.com or other sites to find salaries. You did not say what your current field is, but look at sites that have salary data for that field. That will be most accurate.
Also, get them to discuss the level first before you discuss salary. If you can get them to move to the highest possible level (based on job scope, responsibilities for people or budget), it will be easier to get a higher salary since it will be based on that higher level.
Do not worry about being greedy. Remember, the reference point should not be what you are making now, but what you should be making in the external market. If they keep bringing up what you currently make and how they are offering a jump over that, you have to come back with what the market shows is needed for this type of job. Get the data so you can do this.
Best way to ask to work remotely?
Q: I may be moving across the country soon for personal reasons, and I plan on asking my current employer if I can work remotely instead of quitting. I have received positive performance reviews for the four years I have worked for the company (and was recently promoted).
I work for a small company and have a critical role on several projects we are working on. I've often teleworked from home when unable to come into the office. I know that my boss is open to employees working remotely in general; one staffer works from home in New England. What's the best way to approach this request?
Think about concerns your boss may have so that you are prepared to address them.
A: The good news is that you have precedent for this since one employee is already doing it. Also, since you have good performance reviews and were promoted, this also helps. It gives you much more leeway to ask for things than if you were a poor performing employee.
Think about concerns your boss may have so that you are prepared to address them. The location only matters if he/she wants you to be in the office periodically and it would be hard for you to fly back and forth.
But, what is critical is thinking about the issue from your employer and boss' perspective. What would they be worried about? Meetings? Out of sight work? Level of commitment? Once you have identified what you think their concerns are, then think about ways you can address those concerns. There is also a lot of research on telecommuting and the benefits. You could review some of this to share if needed.
Also, are there staggered options so that you phase in how much you are out of the office? You did not say when you would be moving, but maybe there is a way to start doing more telecommuting sooner in order to get things set up.
All the conditions are in your favour, you just need to prepare for this meeting (do it in person) based on thinking about their concerns or potential worries.
Negotiating in a start-up
Q: I work for a very small start-up, hired as the first non-technical "business manager" and since functioned as accounting/sales/marking/customer relations/human resources. Recently, I was offered the title of CFO, to which I am marginally qualified. I do function as CFO, but don't have the experience to deserve the title. I have cautiously thought about the offer, and want to take it but have a few issues that I would like to resolve.
How would you prioritise my three sticking points:
1) I currently make less than half of my counterpart (COO) and CEO;
2) I would really like to move into COO; she has stated she will retire next year, and I would like to assume her role when she does and bring on a true CFO;
3) I am the only one who is not a profit-participant. We went through a round of investment in November and I was ready to match the contributions of the COO (20k) to buy shares of the company, and was denied. I don't want to seem greedy, but there is a power imbalance in our company (COO and I do not get along - she does not think she should be forced to call someone half her age a "peer") and I feel like resolving at least one of these will go a long way in cementing my position and role within the company, as well as helping me to feel more committed to my job.
You may not get everything you want, so you need to think about what is most important to you.
A: You mentioned your relationship with the COO, but not the CEO, and that is important. Who made you the offer to be the next CFO? This also is important.
I would take the time to outline what you really want in the job and then have a conversation with the CEO. If you get along with this person, then bring these issues up now. If you do not get the pay and title resolved now, it will be harder and harder to get them resolved down the road.
Plus, if you want to move into the COO job later, then you need to build the strongest possible relationship with the CEO now. When prepping for this meeting, think about what is most important to you - the title, money, COO job, etc. You may not get everything you want, so you need to think about what is most important to you.
Russell is vice dean at University of Maryland's Robert H. Smith School of Business and director of the Executive Coaching and Leadership Development Program. She is a licensed industrial and organisational psychologist and has more than 25 years of experience coaching executives and consulting on leadership and career management.
