Fran O'Sullivan: Resolved to put the world to rights

Fran O'Sullivan dreams up New Year's resolutions to fit seven prominent New Zealanders 


Michael Cullen - Finance Minister

This year I'm really up for it. I've decided that my purse will not be the only one to fatten from all that hard work by you wage and salary earners.

I've worked out that if enough of you keep dribbling off to Aussie, my coffers will suffer. Not immediately. But if I change my mind and decide to stay Finance Minister for the next decade, the tide will go out. So I'll give you a break.

I'll ring the Government (as in SHE who is off skiing before the dollar falls) and tell her that Treasury was right. All those reports I've been using as doorstops were right. Cutting taxes (my new press secretary Mike Jaspers will find a less embarrassing term) will boost economic growth. Repeat after me: Cutting taxes will boost!

No way round it but I'm not going to let Mike Williams prime all those journalists before the Budget again. That's what got me in trouble last year. In fact I'll tell SHE that I will announce this new agenda in late January. That will take the wind out of Don Brash's sails. Poor bastard wants to shove another bit of Maori bashing down our throats. But I'll wager my speech will get more headlines, even if I have to employ Smudge, Nudge and Fudge as PR consultants.

Back to concreting before journos start asking me about Alan Bollard's hikes. Memo to self: This is Alan's hard landing, not Michael's.


Alan Bollard - Reserve Bank Governor

This year I'm going to give Michael a good talking to. Not in public, I've tried that and it doesn't work. He just keeps converting workers into welfare beneficiaries and priming the pump with all those election bribes. I'll invite him round to Kelburn and mutter at him while I tend my vegetable patch.

Back when I was an independent economist (before I headed Treasury) I could have told it as it was. And did. But even though I'm Reserve Bank Governor, and again independent, the Beehive doesn't really want me to be as independent as Alan Greenspan and tick them off in public. That's why everybody else thinks I'm picking on them for their credit card binges when I know - as does Michael - that the Government should lead.

Some think New Zealand would be better off if the Australian central bank ran the monetary policy show.

But part of the reason we're in such a mess is that Aussie bankers are boosting their bonuses by selling New Zealanders debt faster than they should pay for it. It's blowing out the country's accounts and pumping exchange rates.

I should stop it and I will. But let me tell Michael first.


Graeme Hart - Rank Group

This year I'm going to stop basking in all those lionising headlines using MY NAME and - smarting over the (too few) stories that fail to lionise me by asking hard questions.

I'm a homegrown billionaire and boy do I know how to trade on it. My bankers know this. So do international rating agencies. This is why Carter Holt Harvey's debt has been downgraded to below investment rating level since I got on board. But I've resolved to have a change of Hart (those headlines are catching!) and take those loyal Carter Holt Harvey shareholders along on the ride rather than try to compulsorily acquire their shares. Notice I did not say for a ride? That would imply I am taking myself for a ride. And as anyone who knows my track record would realise, I'm never on that side of the deal. But this is the Christmas season. They're entitled to their slice. I'll be helping NZ investors get past property to where the real action is - shares.

When I'm done, I'll even have a go at building a whole new company, just like New Zealand's business pioneers did. There's more to life than breaking up existing ones. Oops, back to easy streets. Thinking like that will bring on a Hart attack (mine).

Theresa Gattung - Telecom CEO

This year I'm going to really get behind New Zealand's high growth push. I'll resign from the Government's Growth and Innovation Advisory Board. Immediately. I'll do the one thing that would really make a difference: I'll tell David Cunliffe why my company's broadband monopoly should be ditched in the interest of Kiwi businesses, scientists, film-makers, students - in fact all of you should be able to connect at speeds and with sufficient bandwidth to match that of countries such as South Korea (even Australia) that are building high technology economies.

I've been to endless Knowledge Wave fests. Banged on about New Zealand being the last bus stop on the planet. But now I'm going to smash the tyranny of distance. I'll get Andrew Grant - the McKinsey guy who dreamed up that great report that bought time when Rosemary Howard (I saw her off, tee hee) got the Telstra heavies to come over and lobby Government to take away our toys. McKinsey will flossy up something to justify a payout for sacrificing our dominant position and opening us to the full winds of competition.

Hang about: Roderick (Deane, my chairman) has just reminded me, we tried open competition in Australia and that didn't work.

I had better wear my crash helmet next time I cross the street from the Freyberg pool!


Mark Weldon - NZX CEO

This year I'm going after the big boys. I've been in New York and boy do we have a story to tell.

I could start with the Government (everyone else does) and have a chat to Michael Cullen about all those lovely utility companies he's got locked away. "Look Michael," I'd say, "do us both a favour. You don't have to sell the whole lot. But if you want to New Zealanders to start saving and investing in shares, you can't sit on some of the best assets. Just keep a majority stake and flog off the rest on the NZX."

I'd say, "Why limit yourself to electricity companies - go the whole hog. Throw in Transpower (I wouldn't trust the Commerce Commission to run it but that's a different story), Solid Energy - all that coal going to China, Air New Zealand, although the time to flog the shares off was when Ralph Norris was in full swing."

Don't think I'm sick of trying to get every rag taggle local company to list on the NZX. Interest rates are now so high, companies that are concerned about their cost of capital should examine listing rather than relying on the banks for debt funding.

Thanks, Alan.


Jane Diplock - Securities Commission chairwoman

This year I'm going to beat up all those Auckland QCs with my stilettos. You know the ones, they're behind those articles some Auckland journalists are writing on our big insider trading case.

Now I know that High Court judges - particularly Hugh Williams, who wants to hear our case in Auckland rather than down here in Wellington where I live - are not swayed by the writings of mere scribes.

His Eminence - as we have called him ever since he took our case away - had a damn good thrust back at the Herald just before Christmas. His Eminence argued that while his decision went down a similar track to the path the mere scribes argued, he was by no means influenced by it. My husband would probably say it would have been quicker to just read the Herald rather than wait for the High Court to make its pronouncements. I couldn't say that. But we will get into court one day and then you'll see who had the upper hand.

Now Michael, about that extra couple of million we're going to need to fight this.


Andrew Ferrier - Fonterra CEO

This year I'll have a good talk to Henry (van der Heyden - my chairman) about how we maintain our dominant position in the world export market for dairy products. I didn't leave Canada to run a pipsqueak. If the European Union thinks it's going to take away my dominant ... sorry, I mean commanding position, those Frenchies had better think again. I'll twist logic if I have to, and make the case that Fonterra is not the international price setter. Jim Sutton, the trade guy Helen Clark couldn't sack, says the French keep their farmers like pets. Can't say the same about dairy farmers here. You need to be a millionaire to buy a farm.

That's the point Mark makes when he tries to persuade me to put Fonterra on the NZX so ordinary New Zealanders can buy shares. He knows and I know that general myopia over outside equity stops me from moving Fonterra along quickly. Can't be risk aversion. But if trade policy is to be skewed our way, maybe dairy farmers should not be the only ones to benefit. Okay Henry, just being a bit loose here. You can go back to the beach.