A computer, a stereo, a tape-recorder, two phones, and a funny old man with a hobby. Welcome to The Flea 88.2FM, coming at you loud and clear from a very small space next to Mike Baker's bedroom in his Devonport cottage.
"We call it The Flea because it's the smallest radio station in Auckland. We're tiny, about the size of a torch bulb and running off a 12-volt battery," he says.
Sitting barefoot and be-slacked in the technologically-unadvanced study, Baker was no gnat in the industry - he was there when Radio Hauraki launched, a lynch-pin in the birth of Radio Pacific, "one of the pirates, my dear".
Now, 67-year-old Baker is the chief executive officer, programme manager, advertising director, DJ and sometimes-cleaner of the community radio station.
He doesn't make any money, he doesn't know how many are listening - though all reports say the community is. He's just happy providing a service - round-the-clock automated music from Morcheeba to the Andrews Sisters.
Back over the harbour bridge, in a mahogany-row office twice the size of Baker's operation, is David Brice.
As The Radio Network's programme director, Brice is the guardian of what goes out over the airwaves to half of Auckland's listening population. Part of multi-media conglomerate APN (publishers of the Herald), The Radio Network is about as far from The Flea as you can get.
TRN gives Aucklanders eight stations, including the hallowed Newstalk ZB, legendary station Radio Hauraki and the new-born Flava. It has 700 staff and millions of dollars. And, of course, it has Paul Holmes, the - as yet - unchallenged King of Radio.
And somewhere between the mite and the juggernaut on the AM/FM spectrum lie 50-odd other stations jostling for broadcasting share.
So for a serving of conspiracy theory with your cornies, try Radio Chomsky, which warns listeners not to believe anything on the show. Fleet FM, with its hardcore house music, appeals to the younger set on herbal highs, while those who wish they hadn't taken that high should try the soporific late-night talkback on Radio Pacific. Need help with aphids? News-talk is there for you.
Shock jocks, rock jocks, gossip queens, teen dreams, energiser bunnies, strong silent types, gangsters, pranksters, cool comedians and just plain cool - there's something for everyone.
And the airwaves are about to get even busier. CanWest, which owns TRN's arch-rival Radioworks, announced on Friday that come April 1, there will be a new station in town: Radio Live, a full news station - complete with reporters - to take on Newstalk ZB. Tune in to hear Martin Devlin go head to head with Holmes, Michael Laws versus Leighton Smith, Kerri Smith against Danny Watson, a drive-time rumble between Paul Henry and Larry Williams and Marcus Lush shoot it out with Kerre Woodham after-hours.
"It's game on," says CanWest's chief executive Brent Impey, who described the opportunity as "irresistible". It is about time Newstalk ZB had some real competition, he says.
The opposition does not seem too scared. "It's like CanWest trying to climb Mt Everest," says Brice.
Turn down the volume on the corporate cock-fighting, and it is, at its basic level, one more station to add to the mix.
But can a city of one million really sustain more than 50 radio stations? Turn the dial round to the LPFM frequencies like The Flea and Radio Chomsky, and market forces are neither here nor there. Stations broadcasting on LPFM - that range of frequencies reserved for automatic garage door opening devices, laughs Baker, president of The Society of Low Profile FM Broadcasting Incorporated - are not allowed to make a profit.
After some "minor scuffles" over frequencies in the beginning, Baker says all is now settled, and the stations are focusing on serving their public.
Not there to make money, competition isn't much of an issue for the LPFMs. Mostly they are a tiny irritant to the big boys of TRN and RadioWorks, taking wee bites of their audience.
Ask the same question about the commercial stations - is there room for one more? - and again the answer is positive.
Yes, says Matthew Mollgaard, AUT's radio curriculum leader. The bleeding of the industry happened after the industry was deregulated by the Government in the early 90s. Sure, Cool Blue died this year - top-rating Flava was born of its ashes - but Mollgaard says it always had a finite life, a holding pattern until Flava came on board, and it is the only one in a long time to go off the airwaves.
Another culling is bound to happen, says Mollgaard, but further down the track, perhaps with the introduction of digital broadcasting.
Yes, says Impey. "There's always room for one more." Advertisers love stations aimed at specialised audiences.
And yes, says Brice, who has launched two stations this year, a feat he likens to starting two new Sunday papers. Companies like TRN make sure stations within their corporate embrace are carefully balanced so as not to cannabalise each other's audiences. The industry is market-researched to death.
One of the new stations is baby-boomer-targeted Coast. The other is urban hip-hop station Flava. From the chocolate walls of the two-room, one studio offices, it does leave a slightly different taste in the mouth than its larger bros in the TRN family. A family affair both figuratively and literally - programme manager James Daniels' eldest daughter Stacey co-hosts the breakfast show.
With a survey share of 4.9, it had the highest debut rating in decades, cutting Mai FM's share in half. The secret to its success, says Daniels, is to pick songs carefully, ones with lots of local flavour. DJs take risks with untried music, and of course the low level of advertising is a drawcard - just four minutes an hour compared to between eight and 14 for other stations.
How long will that last? Forever, says Daniels. Sticking with that level, the station is set to make a six-figure profit by the end of next year.
Not for long, disputes Mollgaard. Advertising is the devil of the business - the key to making profit, it's also the one thing that can really turn listeners away. It is a fine balance.
Hang on a minute. Didn't some obscure 80s band tell the world about 23 years ago that video was going to kill the radio star? And if radio had any life left after VCR, surely the internet, CD burners and iPods should have finished it off by now.
"Radio will never die," says Mollgaard. Research shows nine out of 10 people listen to radio at some point every weekday. "People don't even realise they're listening to it. It's just something you do, like pulling up your socks."
What ensures radio's survival, says Mollgaard, is quite simply what it is, its intrinsic qualities. Like its ability to report up-to-the-minute news, and its personalities.
People refer to them on a first-name - or sometimes last-name - basis. Polly, Grant, JJ, Dom, Nick and Rog, Oscar, Robbie, Leighton, Veitchy ... somewhere in that lot is a friend, someone a listener would choose to hang with.
Media commentator Andrew Dubber agrees. The advent of the iPod and the internet have not, and will not, threaten radio's position as the leader in secondary media. "You can listen to the radio while you type, drive, garden ... You can't do the same with television."
But growing commercialism is nibbling away at radio's soul, says Dubber.
"But in those moments where programmers try and give audiences genuine moments of pleasure, surprise and delight rather than simply meet their expectations so that they will stick around between ad breaks, radio can be magic. Those moments are frequent enough to make it all worthwhile."
The statistics appear to back up the talk.
Last year, radio got 12.7 per cent of the total advertising pie, competing with the likes of television, newspaper, magazines and the internet. Total revenue was $224 million. It was a boom year for radio, says Brice, due to a healthy economy and huge demand for television advertising which spilled over to radio.
And although not as "on fire" as 2003, this year is expected to be also high.
"It is a brilliantly cost-effective medium," says Mollgaard. Despite crazy money being thrown around for frequencies - TRN paid $6.5 million for the 105.4FM frequency last November, while CanWest paid $6.3 million for 100.6FM - once you get it right, you can make huge amounts for relatively little investment.
Then there are other radio stations which started small, but are now making it big. George FM is often touted as belonging to this set. It started from some guy's bedroom. Now it's iconic among the Ponsonby house (as in "oonst oonst" music) bunnies, with a 2 per cent share - and growing.
And the real ones to watch, says Mollgaard, are the ethnic stations. Radio Tarana, which broadcasts to Auckland's Indian population, is making a profit and while not given official ratings, last year pulled in a 5 per cent share of the Auckland market. That's higher than most of the mainstream stations.
Brice also speculates about welcoming an ethnic, perhaps Asian, station to the TRN fold as a possible next step. And look out for more change on the dial.
In the short term, Mollgaard expects Newstalk ZB will be vamped up, made racier, more hip. Listeners may have to go to the garden centre for tips on those aphids. It has time to start attracting a younger audience as Devlin's restraint of trade clause prevents Radio Live using him until April, and a big name signing is expected soon.
Personalities are key in the radio game, perhaps more so than in any comparable country.
And you still can't get a bigger personality than Holmes.
"Paul Holmes is fired up. The threat of RadioWorks coming after him, the television changes, have given him something to aim for. Paul is at his very best and most dangerous when he's got something tangible to fight for," says Brice.
More changes are afoot for The Flea. Mike Baker is planning to move house from Devonport. The Flea? It will simply be packed up with the chinaware and furniture and follow the family pet, a truly portable radio station. Soon enough Baker will again be in a room with a computer, a stereo, a tape-recorder, two phones. A funny, happy, old man with a hobby.
- THE HERALD ON SUNDAY
Battle of the Auckland airwaves
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