KEY POINTS:
Toll's Australian shareholders must have been thrilled with Helen Clark & Co this week. In a quick and painless sale process, the freight company has sold off a troublesome division which all the market analysts viewed as its weak link because of declining profitability and the need for hundreds of millions of dollars of new investment.
What's more, it has flicked it for a premium price in a market where the credit crunch is making it tough for most businesses to divest anything for anywhere near fair value.
And it's kept the road freight business - the only bit the market actually rated.
That has presented Toll with a pile of cash to burn on second-tier freight companies which it can pick up cheaply to consolidate itself as the major road freight player in this country. Which it has already started doing - snapping up Northland trucking company United Carriers on Wednesday.
As election bribes go, this was a doozy. It is just unfortunate for Labour that most Toll shareholders can't actually vote in October. But given the goodwill this move has generated in Australian financial circles, it seems only sensible that Labour should carry its nationalisation regime through to the local market.
The NZX is blessed with numerous marginally profitable businesses with long-suffering shareholders who could use a break from an ideologically driven buyer with an open cheque book.
Based on the age-old retailing adage of "you break it, you buy it" it seems only fair that nationalising Telecom and Auckland Airport should be top of the Government's list.
Both have sorry tales to tell of state interference which has left their share prices mired at rock bottom.
But the pair have market caps of $7.1 billion and $2.6 billion respectively - even Michael Cullen's golden surplus won't stretch that far.
Never mind, the NZX is full of bargains - particularly if you don't let bothersome concepts like a return on your investment get in the way of your shopping spree.
For example, the Restaurant Brands board tried for months to sell the fast-food franchisor without getting any serious bites.
At first glance pizza, coffee and fried chicken vendors might not seem a natural fit for the Government's agenda. But a slight tweak of the menu could deliver a huge social dividend.
Helen's secret recipe, skinless steamed chicken in a wholemeal bun, might not actually deliver any financial dividends, but hey, you could sell it in school tuckshops.
And with a market cap of just $77 million the purchase would hardly raise an eyebrow around the Cabinet table.
SkyCity's struggling cinema chain has also been on the market for many months.
Just think of the social benefits that state ownership of the silver screen could deliver.
The Electoral Finance Act might complicate plans for a return to the running of state-sponsored "informational" films as curtain-raisers to the main feature.
But the purchase - likely to set the taxpayer back a mere $60 million - would fit with the push to promote creative industries and provide an outlet for NZ On Air-sponsored documentaries that currently get screened only on late-night telly.
Actually the whole SkyCity business was up for grabs last year but failed to find a buyer.
Making a buck off pokie machines and poker tables might prove a little morally dubious for some socially conscious taxpayers.
But then this week the Government was happy to throw $665 million on to the roulette wheel that is New Zealand rail. Surely that confirms once and for all that it doesn't have an issue with gambling.
* Liam Dann is editor of the Business Herald.
