A TikTok video of a young American woman crying about her first real job has gone viral. Photos / Tiktok
OPINION
A TikTok video of a young American woman crying about her first real job and her long commute, with the caption “qotd” - question of the day - “in a 9-5 how do u have time for ur life”, has gone viral on X (formerly Twitter) in recent days.
“I don’t have time to do anything,” the woman says disconsolately to her phone’s camera, after explaining that she has to get a 7.30 train to work every morning and doesn’t get back until 6.15pm at the earliest. “I want to shower, eat my dinner and go to sleep. I don’t have time or energy to cook my dinner... I don’t have energy to work out... I’m so upset, like oh my God.”
It would be easy to scoff. And many did. “Recent college grad has breakdown over working a job. We’re doomed,” posted “Libs of TikTok”, a notorious right-wing account on X. “Oh princess... I’m sorry you had to commute and work and have a job and everything - it’s like so extra!” posted investor-cum-podcaster and Elon Musk pal Jason Calacanis.
But this “Gen Z girl” has a valid point, and those who have been dunking on her are (perhaps deliberately) missing it. Why shouldn’t she be upset that this is what notching up tens of thousands of dollars’ worth of debt securing a college degree gets you? Why shouldn’t she take her happiness and quality of life seriously? Why do we need to keep glorifying the daily grind as if it were an inherently worthy or virtuous way to live?
It’s not as if she is moaning about having to work at all: she acknowledges many people have it worse and toil for longer hours, and explains that if she could work from home and be free at 5pm that would be okay. It’s an understandable complaint - we all know what a negative effect a long commute, particularly in the dark winter months, can have on the spirit.
This is one major reason, after all, why so many of us are now choosing to spend at least some of our work hours at home: an Office for National Statistics survey in February found 40 per cent of working adults had worked from home at some point in the previous week, up from just 12 per cent in 2019. Research also shows hybrid workers are happier than office-only workers; this is one lockdown legacy that we should fight to hold on to.
Part of what this woman is experiencing is the adjustment we all have to make after leaving the cocoon of university life and entering the harsher, more inflexible, real world - it is sometimes called post-grad depression, and is certainly not a new phenomenon. But what is new and significant is the extent to which “Zoomers” - or Gen Z, the generation born between around 1996 and 2012 - have concerns about their mental health, and are bringing those into the world of work. And for good reason: depression and anxiety among teenagers and young adults has skyrocketed.
There has been some pooh-poohing of the notion that this translates into any meaningful difference in workplace behaviour or attitudes. While the idea of “quiet quitting” was made famous on TikTok, giving Zoomers the reputation of being lazy and work-shy, several studies have suggested that generational splits at work are overstated. And certainly some of the dismissive attitude towards Gen Z can be attributed to the usual grumblings of old age, even if nobody likes to admit they have become a grouch. As Rob Briner, professor of organisational psychology at Queen Mary, University of London, points out, “more palatable is the notion that we haven’t changed as we’ve got older but, rather, younger generations have”.
But Jean Twenge, professor of psychology at San Diego State University and author of a new book, Generations, argues Zoomers do tend to have a markedly different approach to work and tells me that “relatively small differences at the average can have a big impact at the tail”. Her research shows Gen Z workers are more likely than previous generations of the same age to want a good “work/life balance” - including decent holiday leave and “mental health days”.
I don’t wholeheartedly embrace the idea that we should treat emotional difficulties in the same way as we do physical ones. Working out how to treat the former is much more complex, and we need to be careful not to pathologise all feelings of discomfort: facing our fears and pushing through adversity can build resilience. We need to work out how to get the balance right between the Zoomer-style coddling and the Boomer-style stiff upper lip - that’s tricky.
But I am personally grateful that we live in a world that takes mental health seriously, and where talking about our own struggles is no longer such a taboo. We should be careful to look out for signs of poor mental health around us - like, say, fully grown adults spending their time laughing at young women crying on the internet.
Jemima Kelly is a feature writer, columnist and podcaster for the Financial Times