Send in the clowns? Don't bother, I'm here

There's been a bit of talk about Solomon King setting the fastest sprint times in the Steamers' testing sessions lately and I'd like to set something straight.
Yep, he did record 1.59secs over 10m, beating Lance MacDonald (1.61) and yours truly (1.62) and that's okay - it was my first run in six months.
What they didn't say was his 10min time is pretty fast but his ending speed over 30m is pretty poo.
This is my first season with the Steamers and I'm loving it. I'll never forget that Counties kicked off my career, but coming here is the best choice I've ever made.
I knew most of the guys through the Chiefs - guys like Lats (Tanerau Latimer) were hounding me to come here during last year's Super 14.
It was tough, because half of the Chiefs were from Waikato and half were from Bay of Plenty so I was getting pressure from both camps.
I've had a couple of seasons in Hamilton with the Chiefs and it's fair to say there's not much to do, but the Bay has more options. There are plenty of things to do after training so I thought I'd make the move.
Fitting in hasn't been a problem - you've got to just enjoy yourself. I'm pretty out-there and I like to meet people. If there's ice, I like to break it.
It was, however, a bit tricky coming into this team, because they already had an idiot in Solomon King - but luckily I'm the supreme idiot.
Being the class clown is all about keeping coaches in their place, keeping them young and fresh and seeing those grey hairs grow.
One coach didn't really get me - Mark Carter - but the hardest one to crack was Kevin Putt. He didn't really like colourful guys but I just had to crack him and I finally did - he ended up calling me a cow. Deep down, he was a soft and kind man but he just liked to perceive himself as a hard, short, grunty man.
Steamers coach Sean Horan's taller but he's got a great temper. He's on fire some days!
The best advice I can give to kids getting into the game is to play soccer first. It teaches you how to kick a ball, how to run, and it's great for balance. Then transfer that to rugby. Start at first-five, then move further out when you get good!
I started playing for Rahui, just out of Levin, when I was 7 and I've always been a wing. I love it - I love scoring tries, and celebrating them.
I started off as a winger and I'm 23 now and still a winger.