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A Tauranga widower is “totally gobsmacked” after receiving a two-page letter “full” of religious references from a Jehovah’s Witness volunteer soon after his wife died.
The 87-year-old believes they contacted him through a funeral notice and describes this as a “major invasion of privacy” – advising the author to “leave alone grieving families”.
A Jehovah’s Witness spokesman says how members speak about their faith is “personal” and the religion does not target any one group or have a policy of contacting people through funeral notices, and had no intent to cause distress.
Ian Gunn said he and his wife, Lexie, 84, were each other’s first loves. They met while studying in Christchurch and went on to travel the world together in motorhomes.
Lexie had been in hospital battling delirium for 14 months. She died on October 10, two weeks after their 60th wedding anniversary.
Ian and Lexie Gunn were each other's first loves. Photo / Alex Cairns
On Saturday, Gunn received a package of four letters forwarded by the funeral home, which was the address given in a public notice for communications to Lexie’s family.
The fourth was handwritten on A5 paper with a border of flowers and no name or sender address.
He found it was from a Jehovah’s Witness “volunteer, preaching God’s Kingdom”, which included bringing “comfort from the Scriptures, to those who have lost a loved one”.
Three weeks after Ian Gunn's wife died, he received an anonymous letter from a Jehovah's Witness volunteer that was sent to the funeral home. Photo / Alex Cairns
“Please accept my condolences”, it said, before asking: “Perhaps, like me, you may have wondered why we die?”
Gunn said he was not sure what was going on as he read the letter “full” of biblical quotes, discussion and references to biblical verses.
It talked about people dying because of Adam and Eve’s sin and said it was possible to reunite with lost loved ones.
The letter concluded: “Every day, I am greatly comforted by these biblical promises, so am hoping that they bring you some comforting thoughts too!”
The letter was signed from “one of Jehovah’s witnesses” and provided a website address for more information.
Gunn said the letter also included a leaflet but no contact details for the writer.
“I was totally gobsmacked. I thought they had a jolly cheek … This, to me, is a major invasion of privacy.”
In his view, those having no relationship with a bereaved family had “no right to intrude on their grieving with an anonymous religious discourse”.
“Are these people going through the newspaper every day, isolating people and writing to them through the contact numbers given on the bereavement notice?”
The handwritten letter written by a Jehovah's Witness volunteer and sent to Tauranga widower Ian Gunn. Photo / Alex Cairns
If this was the case, he believed there “must be quite a team of them”.
Gunn was “concerned” that a Jehovah’s Witness would be “trying to do their missionary work by contacting the relatives of deceased people”. He said he worried about those whose grief and healing would be impacted by receiving such a letter.
His message for the writer was to “go back to door-knocking, and leave alone grieving families”.
He believed Lexie would have been “appalled” by the letter.
Gunn said he had recently received Lexie’s ashes and had “tremendous” support from loved ones after her passing.
Several Tauranga funeral homes contacted by the Bay of Plenty Times said the situation was not one they had heard of before.
Jehovah’s Witness responds
Jehovah’s Witness spokesman Tom Pecipajkovski said the religion “does not have a policy of contacting loved ones through funeral notices online and in the paper”.
“Jehovah’s Witnesses do not target any one group in the community.”
He was asked about the group’s stance on how Gunn was contacted, and whether it condoned members contacting people through funeral notices or expressing their faith to grieving families in this way.
“How a person chooses to speak about their faith to others is entirely a personal matter,” Pecipajkovski said.
“As you are no doubt aware, Jehovah’s Witnesses enjoy discussing the Bible with others. This can be done in many ways, such as by going from door to door, by telephone and by letter.”
It was “up to each individual Jehovah’s Witness to personally decide whether or not they will speak to others about the Bible, and how they will do so”.
Pecipajkovski said the church did not monitor how each member expressed their faith.
“Regardless of how a Witness personally chooses to express their faith, we respect a person’s right to hold a belief different from ours. We don’t force our message on others and our intent is not to cause concern or distress.
“Our religious services often include training on how to show respect and kindness when speaking with others about the Bible.”
Cira Olivier is a social issues and breaking news reporter for NZME Bay of Plenty. She has been a journalist since 2019.
