Amanda Garmonsway circumnavigated Lake Taupō in four days in her sea kayak for Steph's Legacy. Ashlee Stokes (left) catches up with aunt Amanda Garmonsway at Two Mile Bay. Photo / Rachel Canning
Their mum may be gone, but her kids will always get a present on their birthday until they turn 18 years old.
Steph Stokes was 36 when breast cancer claimed her life on December 18 2019.
She battled for two years and worried about her children, Ella and Ashlee Stokes, then aged 11 and 9, not getting a present from her on their birthdays while they were still young.
With the blessing of husband Kieran Stokes, Steph hatched a plan before she died with sister Amanda and niece Devon Garmonsway.
Steph bought her girls a Pandora bracelet and Amanda and Devon agreed to give each niece a bead for the bracelet on their birthdays and to write the girls a note to go with the present.
"This year I wrote the note on behalf of aunty. We sort of just made it up, used nicknames she would call the girls," said Devon.
Two months after burying Steph, Amanda decided to take the concept further and offer annual birthday presents to all bereaved young children in New Zealand.
A keen kayaker, Amanda decided the charity would be launched exactly one year to the day that Steph died, and it would be launched after Amanda had circumnavigated Lake Taupō, paddling about 193km.
Throughout 2020 Amanda trained in her kayak for her trip and raised funds through a now closed crowdfunding platform. In 11 months Steph's Legacy raised $3895 and has 28 bereaved young children on the birthday calendar.
"We are still working on it, but the gifts we have so far are a Pandora bracelet with a bead every second year and another present in between, or a pounamu necklace from a local greenstone carver, and then another present after that."
Devon says the pounamu comes from New Zealand with each piece blessed by the whakairo (carver) with all work done by hand.
"We raised money through Givealittle and Mum also puts heaps of her own money in. All the money goes directly to buying the presents," said Devon.
Devon says other local businesses got on board and helped raise money for Steph's Legacy, including Cakes By Hailz, Misfitz Dance Studio and Empower Fitness where Steph worked as a creche mum before she died.
Amanda and Devon keep a calendar and check in with the bereaved child's family before each birthday.
"We ask the family to say what they want in the note. Recently we got two children who lost both their parents. They both had important birthdays this year and their families had a lot to say: 'keep making mummy and daddy proud each day'."
As Covid-19 restrictions have allowed, since January Amanda trained at Empower Fitness and out on the lake. The training, combined with perfect weather just before Christmas, enabled her to make the trip in just four days, having originally thought it would take five days.
Devon says Amanda paddled really well in her borrowed double sea kayak.
"It's a solo trip around the lake, but my uncle Kieran [Steph's widower] and his brother Callum Stokes joined Mum at times, and friends have followed behind in a boat with all the camping gear."
A second Christmas without a mother, wife, sister and daughter was hard for the Stokes family and Devon said Steph's Legacy has made her realise how strong kids are after they lose a parent.
If anyone would like to donate money for a birthday present for a bereaved child or to nominate a bereaved child, they can go to Facebook page @StephsLegacy.
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