So much love, but I must say goodbye to dear friend

Leaving a house full of memories can be hard on the heart.

Goodbye old friend. It has been so good to know you.

Although at first I thought I was pushing my luck when I spotted you for sale.

We had only purchased a house six months before. But I knew you were special and I was able to convince Theo of that, too. I have walked from room to room saying my goodbyes. Just my office desk, chair and computer left now.

I asked that these be the last pick up. Even without furniture, you don't look naked.

Just sitting quietly waiting for your new owners. I'm sure they will treat you kindly. Friends and family would tell me you had a good feel about you. Good vibes. It made them feel good to be here. I felt that too every time I stepped inside. I suppose I could have dressed you up more. Taken out the old coal range in the kitchen. Put in an upstairs bathroom. But to me you were fine just as you were.

I find it strange. We find something we love and then set about changing it. Not in your case. I don't think you needed changing. The view from your windows and deck are special. Looking out across the fields to Kawaha Point and the lake.

The cows have been coming up to the back fence these past few weeks. They may have sensed there was packing going on. That I was on the move.

I leave with happy memories.

It'll be five years this year since Theo died. They say don't be in a hurry to make changes when your partner dies. Take your time. Well, you can't say I have been hasty. We were happy here although at first Theo couldn't understand why we needed such a big house.

We didn't. I don't think he got it. I just loved you from first sight. So what if you were a much bigger house than we needed. Big is beautiful too. And I certainly didn't have a problem finding things to fill every room. Actually, I am rather disgusted with myself. You must be, too. Rooms crammed full of stuff. Yes, just stuff. I have spent four weeks sorting through everything.

I was offered help but I couldn't let anyone see just how much you had to put up with. All gone now. You must be feeling lighter already.

I am going to promise myself not to hoard again. I won't have a spartan apartment but I'll banish hoarding forever.

Lesley will be here soon. I suspect we'll say some prayers and cry when we close the door for the last time. You remember my sister, Lesley. She used to love sitting on your deck with Theo.

They would smoke their cigarettes and talk for hours. They enjoyed each other's company. I feel a little sad now that I didn't realise how much Lesley missed Theo when he died. I was caught up in my own grief without being sensitive to Lesley losing a close friend and brother-in-law. I'm happy she wanted to come around and say goodbye, too.

I hope you enjoyed having us live here. You never knew who would be calling in. We had visitors every day when Theo was alive. He loved having people stop by. Me on the other hand, not quite so much.

I like my home to be private and quiet. With Theo that was an impossibility. And I hope you enjoyed hearing Maori spoken every day, Theo preferred Maori to English.

There was so much fun and laughter here. Now whenever I drive by I will look in the gate and say hi. Thank you for sheltering me. Us. For being not just a house but a loving home. A place of solace. A place easy to be at peace.