It is increasingly difficult for people who live alone to manage with the rising cost of living. Photo / Getty Images
''Embarrassed, shocked and ashamed.''
That's how many singletons aged in their 50s feel when they turn up to foodbanks and social agencies seeking assistance.
Providers say they are seeing an increase in the number of middle-aged single people seeking assistance as they struggle to cope with the skyrocketing cost of living as well as life changing events such as marriage breakups, the death of a partner and loss of income.
Rotorua Whakaroa general manager Elmer Peiffer said there had been a significant increase in demand at its free supermarket, where people in need can get food.
Last Saturday, 289 people visited compared to 150 the Saturday before.
Peiffer estimated 30 per cent of those were single and while some were living in motels, others were living in their car.
''It is heartbreaking but at the end of the day it is a driver for us to do what we do.''
In his view, it was the rising cost of living that was pushing people over the edge.
''I think the first thing that anybody will chop is their food bill. If they have increases in rent and increases in power and petrol they will do that to make ends meet.
''It is a combination of inflation which has seen more and more people needing our service.''
Peiffer said a lot of people were also ''shy and almost embarrassed to be here in the first place''.
''So we try to make it an enjoyable experience so that they don't feel ashamed about needing assistance.''
A Bay of Plenty working widow told NZME she had to drop her contents insurance in order to pay her car insurance and her son had moved back in to help her pay the rent.
The 58-year-old, who did not want to be named, said life had been tough since her long-term partner passed away. His death was devastating and she felt isolated.
''I had to shift into a smaller rental and moving to one income was really stressful. After he died, I was really lonely and emotional. I wasn't in the right headspace to look outside the square to see if anyone could help me.''
This led to a $5000 bank loan to downsize her vehicle to a more economical model but she drew the line at getting a credit card.
She had only recently told her family it was a struggle to make ends meet as it was something she had never discussed in the past.
She had not needed outside support but now her budget was planned down to buying two carrots instead of a bag and visiting the supermarket or friends on the way home from work to save petrol.
''The flexibility I once had in my budget is no longer there and I can't bounce things around. I know widows in their 50s who have primary school-aged children and I honestly don't know how they do it.''
A Bay of Plenty man, who recently separated from his partner of more than 20 years, said the financial impact of the separation was swift and significant.
He said from the outside looking in he had it all: Two children and a mortgage-free home but when he separated from his partner it didn't take long for reality to kick in.
''We worked our arses off and then all of a sudden it's gone. I've got 11 automatic payments coming out while trying to get my head around a budget.''
The 52-year-old, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, was more fortunate than others and said he was lucky the split was amicable. He also had a good job and felt for others who were on the breadline.
He said the thought of taking on another mortgage was daunting and he is now renting a home with his brother, who recently lost his wife.
''He was widowed and wanted a new life in a new city but he needed his family around him. At his age that was really, really important. He was looking at his options and asked if he could hang out with me.
''I've only seen the financial flipside of that recently because it was never about money but now he is paying rent and buying food which is helping me out immensely.''
Rotorua Rentals owner Pauline Evans said the company allowed some older tenants to have a boarder to help with their finances.
''Some of the older tenants are fearful of getting the power account, don't drive anywhere unless it is absolutely necessary and with the extra pressure of having to avoid personal contact for fear of getting Covid, it is a very subdued lifestyle for many of them.''
She said in her view, agency enquiry appears to be geared toward helping families with children.
''Of course, no one wants to see children living in motels, or in cars on the street.
''Accommodating single people is difficult as rents have risen, and the day to day cost of living is stretching the single person's budget to breaking point.''
Evans said a one-bedroom unit was $300 or more a week and she had none available.
Rotorua Budget Advisory Service manager Pakanui Tuhura said If a person had a well-paying job and was living in affordable, good and stable accommodation then they were able to enjoy a nice life.
However, if a person's income did not cover their essential needs then they risked falling into debt which placed them under more stress.
''Many people are struggling and frankly, that can't be good for their mental health and wellbeing. At one end of the spectrum, some will see it as a challenge to be overcome [what doesn't kill us makes us stronger] and at the other end, some will put their heads in the sand and wait for it all to get the best of them.
''Most people fall between these two poles.''
Tauranga Community Foodbank manager Nicki Goodwin said the service was assisting more people that lived on their own and there had been "a massive increase of those in that situation".
Goodwin said it could help with food but she hoped by talking about it there would be more public awareness.
''The people we are dealing with are so embarrassed and so ashamed and so shocked to find themselves in that situation.''
Clients were already in crisis with accommodation costs and now there was the rising cost of living, she said.
Salvation Army Lt. Colonel Ian Hutson said rent continued to be the biggest expense for those who did not own their homes.
There had not been an increase in the accommodation supplement for years which had put a huge strain on people.
Some were also ending up in transitional housing for long periods of time and those who got higher priced private rentals often ended up recycled into the system because they couldn't afford it.
''They don't know how they will get through the day, let alone the week.
''Are you going to feed the kids or pay the rent? Is the landlord going to tell me to move on? Are you going to turn on the heater or leave it off?''
Craigs Investment Partners investment director Mark Lister said it was another sad example of why people needed to take their finances seriously as early as possible and do their best to form saving and investing habits while they are young.
''They should also buy a house if they are able, so that when they reach their 50s, 60s or 70s they have something behind them. Time is the biggest advantage people have when it comes to investing.''
Kay Read , Ministry for Social Development client service delivery group general manager, said it offered support in many forms, such as financial assistance, help to find employment or connecting with a community service.
She said accommodation supplement rates differed depending on factors such as income, costs and where people lived.
The country was divided into four accommodation supplement areas, based on lower quartile rents.
Read said in April 2018 the Government updated the area boundaries and increased the maximum payment rates in all of them and those were currently under review.
A disregard for authority could be why those attending court are thumbing their noses.